Why did he block me? I fucking hate him

[HoldOnWaitAMinuiteNow]

We were together 8 months. It was amazing. He is definitely the man I want to have a future with.

He broke up with me citing the reasons that he needed to focus on work and so took a job in another country.

I have 2 dc so obviously couldn’t move with him.

A month after he left, i WhatsApped him a message to say hi and that I missed him.

A few days later he called to apologise for not responding and to tell me he’d met someone.

I played it cool and said fine. We can still be friends right? He said ok. But then he blocked me. I know he’s blocked me because none of the messages I sent have gone through.

What the fuck is his problem?

My last relationship before I met my husband lasted for eight months and I really did love him and was devastated when he ended it, so I do know how you feel.

He may have loved you briefly, but he doesn't now and he didn't the last time he saw you. Those three words are easily said.

I think he has done you a big favour by blocking you because you do sound obsessed and no contact is probably the right thing for you at the moment.

And he hasn't got a problem, unfortunately it is you that has the problem. He is moving on, you need to work towards that too.

Sounds like he was someone else the whole time. I reckon blocking you is for the best as it means you are forced in to moving on and finding someone who will treat you better.

Also I know you said you made love, for a lot of men passionate sex is just that. Sex. Sex is emotional for women and for some men it's just a physical thing

I feel for you.
The man you love is not real.
He is in your head and heart, but not flesh and blood.
You need to accept this man has passed on and get angry at being used by an expert.... An actor who will do the same to the new person as soon as a better model comes Along.
You need to forgive yourself for being fooled... Treat your self and the kids this xmas... Xxx

'But I do agree that his new partner has probably asked him to block me.'

I think he decided that for himself when you wanted to 'be friends'

Dust yourself off and put this one behind you

I'm sorry OP, I've been in a similar situation. He's not the one for you if he doesn't feel the same way about you. Why would you want someone who doesn't want you?
Men, well people in general can act shit, it's probably nothing wrong that you have done but he obviously likes this other woman more and you have to accept that.
Find someone who makes you feel like number one and stop wasting time on someone who doesn't.
There's no point to being friends. He Will never be your friend because you're in love with him. I can't think of anything worse than keeping in contact with an ex and I wouldn't like my husband to do the same.
He doesn't want you in his life any more and has moved on, unfortunately you now need to do the same.

Op, so sorry. Very painful to be dumped like that, and he was being dishonest to do the ‘needing space ‘ thing.

“Fucking hell. Why her and not me?”
That’s why you can’t be friends. You can only be friends when a break up is mutual, and in some way amicable. You can’t be ‘friends’ with someone who just broke your heart to be with someone else! It would be torture for you, and stalky for him. Don’t be a hanger on in his life, and don’t torture yourself playing the pick-me dance whilst pretending to be ‘friends’.

Look after yourself, and turn to your true friends and those who really love you for support.

Some men just enjoy (please excuse the vom inducing phrase) tender sex over straight up fucking, it doesn't mean that the lovemaking was genuine.
I think the biggest signal he was off was when he dumped you and moved country. Sorry :(

He has dumped you. He wants nothing to do with you. Suck it up - you have no alternative that isn't going to be both wretchedly humiliating for you and profoundly unethical.
Everyone has the right to end a relationship and move on, for any reason whatsoever - and if you try to find another way of making contact with this man, he would be justified in informing the police that you are harassing him (and maybe not wholly unreasonable in telling all his friends that you are a mad bitch who won't let go.)

You can't be friends with him because you still love him and he wants to move on.
Staying in each other's lives would just be emotional self harm for you. He would be awkward and pitiful and you would want more. Believe me - I've done this!

Time to block in turn and move on. It fucking hurts but you will be ok in time.

As hard as it is he used you for one last night of great sex.

Now he has cut all ties and doesnt want to have any kind of relationship with you.

You need to grieve what you thought was a good relationship (but wasnt a forever relationship to him) and move on.

He treated you like shit and in time you will realise this and be glad you had a lucky escape. He is immature and selfish and a user you dodged a bullet.

He has made it very clear he isn't interested. He has met soneone else as he is entitled to do.

Leave him alone and move on.

Btw been there done that its crap but you cant be 'just friends' with someine you are in love with and want a relationship with.

Best thing really is cut all ties.

We made love and he said he loved me
You sound very young and naive.
This means nothing to men.

Ooh, a little bit harsh(to men, not the OP). Some men do mean it when they say it. Let's not tar them all with the Twat brush.

I also think that you're being extremely unfair when it comes to your username. I love Shepherds Pie, how very dare you.

You’re clearly not just in a “we can be friends” place though are you? It’s screamingly obvious.

I know how you’re feeling though, even 7/8 years later and engaged, I still feel angry with ex for this. How could he just walk away so easily? We had everything in common, and even though we were terrible in a relationship we could be best friends. Except of course it wasn’t like it. I was still madly in love with him, wanted to spend time with him, talk to him, maybe be could just see we’re perfect for each other.. he could see that I was obsessed. I couldn’t after all “I just want to be friends” .. and he wanted me out of his life. Yeah, he talked the talk to keep me sweet and obviously come crawling back when he was lonely.. but the “I love yous” during and the promises of friendship after we’re lies.

You’ll realise in time. Focus on your kids and your own sense of being and things will get better.

improper lovemaking
Yes more my kind of thing too

Hope he didnt meet your kids

He did, apparently he was great with them and they adored him.

He might have meant the ‘lovemaking’ at the time, in the heat of the moment (don’t know what it is myself but you seem pretty sure) but I think you have to accept his word that it’s over and he obviously doesn’t want to be friends.

He moved countries and blocked you. That's the bottom line.

It's impossible to be friends when one of you still has feelings. It just doesn't work unless you are both on the same page. It's just too painful for the still in love half of the friendship.

The only way you'll get over him is no contact.

Hope he didnt meet your kids

He did, apparently he was great with them and they adored him

This is what stood out for me, and says a fair bit about the OP.

He did not love you OP, and he definitely did NOT adore your kids.

Sorry to be so harsh, but grow up, put your children first, and spend some time on your own.

I have friends who have been dumped by their husband/partner and will say they didn't know is was about to happen due to the amazing sex / closeness /general demeanour of their oh . Turns out everyone of them had an ow on the go.It's what a lot of men do to hide the fact they are not emotionally into you anymore.

He may not have been seeing someone else while he was still dating the OP. He may have become aware that she was obsessive, clingy and needy, and told her that he was moving away for work as (in his eyes) a way of letting her down gently.

So he happily moves on, gets a new job, meets someone new - and then suddenly OP is up in his WhatsApp, whining. Of course he blocks her. This is why people ghost - if someone makes it clear they are hugely obsessed and possessive and needy, you try to extricate yourself politely and, if they are clearly not listening, you get away and block all contact. It's OK to do this. No one is owed dates, sex or a relationship with you just because that's what they want.

You can’t fake proper love making. And that’s what it was. That’s why I can’t understand why he blocked me. Fucking hell. Why her and not me?

Yes you can. I’m not saying he did fake it, but it possible he may have done.
You were together for 8 months - it doesn’t matter how much you liked him you still barely knew him. There were SO many more layers of that man that you never got to know about, and for that reason you can never say he never faked or lied to you.

It doesn’t matter why her and not you. All that matters is he’s with somebody else and no longer wants you in his life. Yes that hurts but it’s a fact that you’ll have to accept.

It sounds as if you were way more emotionally invested in the relationship than he was. If he truly loved you and wanted kids/future with you he’d still be there now, wouldn’t he? Only he isn’t. Don’t waste anymore of your time wondering why he’s not around anymore.

I would learn from this. I’m sorry you’re hurting but you need to give your head a wobble. You sound very naive - people say things they don’t mean all the time. Tons of people say they love someone to get them into bed!