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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Why did he block me? I fucking hate him

309 replies

HoldOnWaitAMinuiteNow · 23/11/2018 03:36

We were together 8 months. It was amazing. He is definitely the man I want to have a future with.

He broke up with me citing the reasons that he needed to focus on work and so took a job in another country.

I have 2 dc so obviously couldn’t move with him.

A month after he left, i WhatsApped him a message to say hi and that I missed him.

A few days later he called to apologise for not responding and to tell me he’d met someone.

I played it cool and said fine. We can still be friends right? He said ok. But then he blocked me. I know he’s blocked me because none of the messages I sent have gone through.

What the fuck is his problem?

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 23/11/2018 05:06

I’m sorry you’re hurting. He has decided to leave his old life behind. Perhaps when he came back and “made love” with you he realised the relationship was too difficult to continue with. Or maybe he decided he didn’t love you afterall. In time you will learn to accept his decision and move on with your life.

flumpybear · 23/11/2018 05:11

No one with a new partner wants the old partner hanging around when it's clear he's moved on and you haven't.

You're not for him, for whatever reason, be kind to yourself and walk away, spare yourself this chasing that'll just make you sadder

bubbles108 · 23/11/2018 05:19

You can’t fake proper love making

You can

You can fake anything

And when someone wants to believe something or has an expectation that something is a certain way ( you believe that he loved you) - it's even easier to fake

It's hard to face now - but he didn't love you, it was just sex for him and he's not good enough for you

Hold onto that and you WILL get through this

CornflakeGhetto · 23/11/2018 05:21

I think there are plenty of men who're very good at making love 'meaningfully' & then walking away from it. Lots of them would say 'I love you' in the heat of orgasm. I was with my bf for 11 months when he just ghosted me out of the blue. By that time I'd spent xmas with all his extended family & I felt like part of the furniture. It was really tough but he did me a favour by showing me what a cowardly specimen he really was. If your chap has already moved on to another relationship, I'd put money on it that he was two-timing you for a while. He told you he 'needed to focus on work' to let you down gently, rather than saying he's met someone he likes better - quite possibly childless. I had one cunt of a man tell me 'A woman with kids is twice the cost & only half the pleasure'! I walked away.

Bottom line is, he doesn't want to be with you. Painful. Chalk it up to experience & move on.

CornflakeGhetto · 23/11/2018 05:23

I 2nd bubbles - he wasn't good enough

CJsGoldfish · 23/11/2018 05:41

You can’t fake proper love making. And that’s what it was

Yes, you can. I'd say your perception is a little different to his OP. He's done and you need to move on.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 23/11/2018 05:45

I'm sorry, and i totally understand that one of the hardest things in the world is when you are totally blindly in love with some one and those feelings aren't recipricated. I think every one has been there. One day he will be too. But not with you.

Also, the beimg friends with exs rarely, if ever works. Why do you want to be friends?? The answer i'm afraid is obvious, you want to be friends because you think if your still friends he'll some how want to be with you. That isn't a good idea, for your own.mental health as much as anything. Constantly seeing some one you want to be more than friends with.

And the signs were there, he said he wanted space, wanting space is very often the nice way of sayimg i want to split up. He in his head was no longer in a relationship with you. He did lie when he said he loved you because he knew that that was all it topk to get you back in to bed where he could have his lust sated. Amd you fell for it. When you've got some one whos so in love they cant see anything but how in love you are thats so easy to do.

Like i say, i understand its hard, its not called heartbreak for nothing, you feel absolutely broken, i get that. But he's made himself very clear be wanted space/a break he was trying to gently tell you it was over, now it is hes moved on, he doesn't want to be friends, hes new relationship cant let him be friends, imagine being his new girlfriend and the ex hanging around "being friends" and wanting more than being friends. Hes actuallh fldone the right thing by you.

I'm sorry, but your cpming across as if you were a teenager or on the jermery kyle show, which tbh, is were you'd be headed if you'd stayed friends because he'd play you and the new girlfriend off, using you both for sex whenever he wanted.

As much as it hurts, put this one down to the unrecipcated love that was actually a cunt, dust your self down, and i know that will take time, breathe and move on. He has, without a backwards glance. So you have nothing to feel guilty about when you do.

PouchofDouglas · 23/11/2018 05:46

To no brutal OP , reading your messages I’d block you too

OrdinaryGirl · 23/11/2018 05:47

I wonder if on that night it felt meaningful because in his head it was the last time and he was saying goodbye? So sorry OP, I know all these answers won't be what you want to hear. 😞

As others have said, no point in dissecting, time to move on. My feeling is that you'll back and see it as a good thing it was a clean break. Hope things get better for you soon. 💐

HereIgoagainxx · 23/11/2018 05:50

I think he's done you a favour. How could you jump to being friends when you thought he was your future. He is now someone else's. Do you really want to know what he's doing with his new partner? That he's moved on while you are lucking your wounds?

I know you must be really hurting buy you will move on quicker with no contact.

I don't believe he did this to hurt you.

SorryBaby · 23/11/2018 05:58
Confused I think I'd block you too! Why do you keep incessantly talking about the 'love-making'? Creepy.
Itsnotme123 · 23/11/2018 06:06

It’s tough. I cried for four days solidly when this happened to me. He probably can’t cope being friends with you when a. He’s in another country, b. He’s found someone else. Distant relationships are hard enough so you just have to get over it and move on. I found my man on Facebook, and we had a conversation where he made it clear that our relationship had ended. Which helped me move on.

speakout · 23/11/2018 06:16

OP time to let go.

You were together only 8 months.

He had second thoughts- maybe for all kinds of reasons.

The bottom line is he doesn't want to see you any more.

And yes that" love making" can be faked.

Innocentconglomeration · 23/11/2018 06:20

He’s moved.

He’s met someone else.

You sound obsessed.

He’s blocked you.

Let it go.

And I wouldn’t say it’s anything to do with the new person. He is capable of delete and block himself. That’s the advice if someone doesn’t see it when you try to end it.

speakout · 23/11/2018 06:21

OP what you saw as a night of meaningful "love making" he saw as a good shag for old times sake.

SorryBaby · 23/11/2018 06:22

How long until someone says the L word?Hmm

(And no I don't mean Love)

redexpat · 23/11/2018 06:24

I read a theory somewhere. When women say they want to be friends, that means they want to have a non romantic non sexual relationship with this person. Men say it to be nice and dont mean it.

speakout · 23/11/2018 06:27

Llama ?

Innocentconglomeration · 23/11/2018 06:28

Limerance.

Which is the current word du jour for obsessed and stalker but we can’t say that about women so we have a minimising cutesy word instead.

Zoflorabore · 23/11/2018 06:28

You mean limerance? Grin

SorryBaby · 23/11/2018 06:30

Nooooooo.......don't say it!!

ITS NOT A THING!!!!

Women can be weird stalkers too.

NotTheFordType · 23/11/2018 06:30

@SorryBaby

...? Lesbian? Confused

Sorry OP but of course you can fake "love making" (horrible phrase) - I do it every day for a living.

And it's very easy to say "I love you" in a post-coital haze of bliss.

It's over and you have to move on. Blocking you is actually the kindest thing he could do for you (probably inadvertently but hey ho.)

SorryBaby · 23/11/2018 06:31

Lesbian would be fine, as would llama.

CupoBlood · 23/11/2018 06:37

@NotTheFordType
Sorry OP but of course you can fake "love making" (horrible phrase) - I do it every day for a living.

Sorry Ford that made me pmsl unless you intended to declare yourself a specialist in the full girlfriend experience Grin

Zoflorabore · 23/11/2018 06:39

That sentence just woke me up a bit ford

I'm intrigued Smile

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