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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

is anyone online please?

112 replies

sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 05:25

please someone be online

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Anniegetyourgun · 21/06/2007 05:33

I'm here - couldn't sleep, will be going to work in a while. I saw what you said on the other thread about your H in the pub. That's pretty devastating, I don't know what to say except: [hug]. With any luck he was just a bit tipsy, it was a spur of the moment daftness which would not have led to anything, and you catching him will give him the shock of his life. I hope that's all it is. Sometimes they can be such idiots.

If it's more - well, you've read enough here to know you're not alone, you will have a great deal of support and advice if things get nasty.

Sorry, rambling, I'm not properly awake yet, just wanted you to know someone is listening.

Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 05:36

no his in oxfordshire im in kent

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Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 05:37

he went there monday night to work. and i got a text yesterday morning that i knew werent for me so i called o2 to see how he was calling got the number and the girl who answered said she was his girlfriend

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Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 05:39

he kept denying it by text so i went up to see him to sort it and she was there and he spoke to me like shit told me to fuck off home he didnt love me. so i left but got lost so turned round to oxford to start again had phoned this thing cos his phone was off said if h is with you please put him on me and kids are lost and need help she swore he wasnt with her and she didnt know where he was

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Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 05:41

then i get a message from her saying isnt the sat nav in car working? How would she know i had one if he wasnt with her. So i went to nearest pub to where his staying and as i walked in there they were. Cant describe the pain of seeing some dog on my husbands lap with his arm s round her. I stormed up to them and threathened her he just walked out.

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Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 05:43

followed him out and he said he didnt love me anymore he didnt want her and wasnt planning to have sex with her then she comes out flying at me saying she doesnt care if i hit her and im nothing but adirty slut! So i obliged and punched her so fucking hard hse went down. she ran in pub crying i got in car and drove off

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Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 05:47

then i got arrested on the m40. me and kids sjust got home. No charges not even a caution. He said i pushed him and thresthened to kill the kids no mention of her at all. im feeling all over the place ashamed that i hit her angry and in so much pain at what i saw and numb that he could do this to us. btw our baby girl is 1 years old tomorrow. i have to leave him but i know his going to beg to come home thats why he wouldnt let her press charges. i feel sick my inside feel they have been ripped out of me. i dont think i have the energy to cry anymore

OP posts:
quokka · 21/06/2007 05:53

oh my god. Ok you need to walk away from this situation. It is no good for you or the kids!!!

NotQuiteCockney · 21/06/2007 05:58

What a mess! Has he been working away for long? Did you have reason to believe he was seeing someone else?

You absolutely do have to walk away - why would you want to keep, or fight for, a man like this?

quokka · 21/06/2007 06:00

he sounds like such a horrible man and he is lowering you to his dirty standards! Why do you need someone like that in your life?

SittingBull · 21/06/2007 06:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 08:25

oh its definately over i could never trust him nor could i ever let him touch me again she even said to me being married didnt bother her she just saw it as a couple of weeks of sex and thats it

OP posts:
Budababe · 21/06/2007 08:28

She sounds charming. Glad you punched her! Hope it felt good..

You poor thing. Have you any RL support?

Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 08:29

my parents are coming up saturday but no one close to me

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Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 08:30

my hand iss till throbbing! it was calling me a dirty f ing slut that did it that and the image of her all over my husband. told her she wants to play around with married men she needs to take the consequences too.

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anorak · 21/06/2007 08:31

OMG sugar what a hideous woman. She has no conscience at all.

I don't know what to say, you poor thing

Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 08:33

why am i a slut? his my husband! i just cant get my head straight

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ggglimpopo · 21/06/2007 08:33

Go and see the CAB and a sol,; channel your anger into sorting yourself out and doing something positive.

At least you know now, and knowledge is power. Use it to get yourself and the children into a good place emotionally and financially.

The french say 'It is better to walk alone than in bad company".

Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 08:33

i want to cry but there is none left im just empty

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anorak · 21/06/2007 08:34

I've noticed that when people feel guilty they often accuse the innocent party of exactly the thing they feel guilty about.

That's why she called you a slut.

Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 08:34

thats why my parents are coming up because icant think and its dd 1st birthday tomorrow.

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Anniegetyourgun · 21/06/2007 08:35

Oh my god, that's awful. I like that SHE called YOU a slut (makes you wonder if he'd told her some peculiar stories about you). But to say you'd threatened the children is low, really low. Well, it's a horrible way to find out, but good riddance to bad rubbish.

Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 08:36

he said it was my fault for not being affectionate enough. and he couldnt handle being away from me in oxfordshire. told him to come home but he wouldnt he wants the money

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BandofMothers · 21/06/2007 08:36

Don't know you, but am so glad you punched her, you must really have followed thru. Am so sorry you had to see it really as the image kind of sticks in the mind, but at least you can move on now, and get rid of scum who doesn't deserve you.
hope your dc's didn't see anything and are ok.

Original poster
sugar34plum · 21/06/2007 08:37

thats why police stopped me because he told them i was going to crash car and kill me and kids. the police were really nice

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