Catching my husband cheating?

[dontpointatme]

I can go into the back story later if needed, I just need to know if I need to get this set up quickly…

In a nutshell, I'm 99% certain my "D"H is up to something. I've found out from the wife of his friend that he cheated a while ago and he's been behaving so suspiciously recently that I'm sure he's up to something again. I'm not kicking him out though until I have proof, as he'd just go for the wounded party thing, and I'm not having that. He denies everything when confronted.

So, he's away apparently visiting a friend this weekend... I can't follow him to see where he goes as I have commitments that I can't get out of, so my (psycho wife) idea is to send my old phone with a PAYG sim hidden in in his car, so I can see where he (or at least his car) actually is...

Forget the rights and wrongs, will this work to track him assuming the phone is on silent and Bluetooth etc turned off so the car doesn't link to the phone? Am I completely insane?

I wanted to commend you op. You have remained so dignified throughout this. On here anyway. You’ve been so strong

Screw what anyone else says about denial etc. You are dealing with this the only way you know how. And can. I think you’ve been so incredibly strong. You make me proud to call myself a woman

Kudos to you. I wish you all the very best. Good luck my lovely. Take care

Wow, thank you so much, I've just been trundling along really - I don't know any other way.

I know I'm too nice (in regard to letting him stay here rather than sending him to a hotel - or whatever) but I'm kind of happy with that, I'd rather be able to maintain an amicable relationship with him in the long run rather than making things more difficult for DD. Plus any hotels etc would go on a credit card, and that's more marital debt. Not the best idea right now.

Tomorrow I'm taking my mum and DD to a big shopping centre to see the decorations, and take her to the Disney Shop for the first time, so that's an exciting one to look forward to!!

Night all, I'm off to take a sleep aid tablet and hopefully pass out for 8 hours or so, DD willing...

Hi, how was your shopping trip, and how are you feeling?

Hi!

I feel really crap today. Went and got my DD's passport picture done for our holiday in Feb, it reminded me that there will be no family holidays, everything I expected in my future is gone. It's shit. It's all just bollocks and not fair.

I'm going to go through the UC application later and see what needs done. He's been to see her tonight before bed and he's gone again now, very awkward but to be expected I guess.

DD thoroughly enjoyed the shopping though, she was absolutely worn out and had a proper danger nap in the car from 2-3. Hoping she sleeps tonight!!

Aww you'll get used to being a smaller family in time, but yes it is weird though at first. Just keep reminding yourself you've done it for a very good reason-you and your DD don't need negativity in your life.

I remember danger naps well! Hopefully she was that worn out she's ready for her sleep tonight.

Bed was a 2 hour battle tonight, she's finally asleep though. I think a combination of the danger nap, too exciting a day, and feeling my upset. Hoping she stays asleep now as I need to crack her coming in to my bed as she has been for the last couple of weeks as she just doesn't sleep there.

I think you realise there are a lot of people on here thinking of you. You sound really level headed and a brilliant mother; make sure you get plenty of support in real life.

This is really hard.
Going out to see her!!!
That's the bit that cuts deepest.
He's denying it all and then out he goes to see her!
Grrrr......
Keep going. Keep calm. Stay strong.

I commented earlier in your thread and have just read the rest of it.

you're amazing and super smart

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

How are you doing OP?

Hi!

Not much going on really - he's still here until after Christmas at least, which is getting annoying now.

I'm having good days and bad days, good days are looking forward to the adventures to come for DD and I (and only having us to tidy up after!), bad days pretty much grieving for the future I thought I had until a few weeks ago. No family holidays, the family Christmasses that DD won't have etc. It's about 50/50 at the moment, I just want him to find somewhere, hoping that will make me have more good days than bad...

op you're such a wonderful. I hope that despite what he has done you have some lovely Christmas moments with Dd.

You're doing brilliantly by the sounds of things. I'm sure the mixed emotions are normal. Many wouldn't have your strength of character. Keep holding onto the positive thoughts.

Just read the full thread and commend you for getting your evidence

When my exh moved out to stay with ow
He refused to say who it was, where she lived etc
It was eating me up... so I hatched a plan. He babysat our grandson on a Sunday while I went to a quiz. My son was at work

So my friend hid in a cul de sac nearby
He had a very distinctive car.. so when he shot out of our street ... she followed him
Unfortunately he stopped. No doubt to answer his phone and she had to overtake him

She rang me, he saw me , he saw me
I said don’t worry he won’t have known it was you... he will have been too excited to get back to her to even consider you being on the road

Anyway she told me where it happened and I knew exactly where he was heading... there was one road in and one road out

The next day my grandson fell asleep in the car so we went for a drive

It’s not a big area... but I was getting nowhere

I already knew the car she had because she’d parked near my house the night he left

So, I did that little offering to the management upstairs... come on I need your help... where shall I look next
And I found it... a little cul de sac I’d overlooked
And there it was!
Jackpot

I thenjust say in the information until I needed it

When he asked very aggressively if I had a tec on him I just didn’t answer.
No just an extremely loyal friend. Didn’t cost a penny. In fact it was probably a pleasure to do it lol and no, you weren’t worth spending that kind of money on

Well done your friend op

Never underestimate a woman scorned 😂

Wow just read this thread all the way through. What a scum bag. I’m sorry you’re going through this OP but glad you know for sure. Onwards and upwards.

stay strong Op

(off topic, its disgusting how an adult is not paid enough to do a job to allow them to live without claiming benefits! this is seriously not a dig in any way at the OP, its a dig at low paying companies and the government not doing enough to help out

Anyway, now operation keep a roof over our heads begins. I need to apply for whatever I can get in benefits as my wage will just cover the bills without food and petrol... upping my hours at work won't help as then I'd have to pay for more nursery fees. Aarrgghh, this is shit 😣

OP stay strong!