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Original poster

Support for Spook 3

413 replies

ponygirl · 28/08/2004 21:33

Here it is!

OP posts:
Clayhead · 23/09/2004 11:07

the wiser ones beat me to it

Original poster
ponygirl · 23/09/2004 11:10

Oh Spook, I'm so so sorry he's messing you about like this. Feel very angry for you. He's controlling and manipulative and doesn't deserve you one iota. Love xxx

OP posts:
spook · 23/09/2004 11:10

Soon Anorak. I promise Thanks for being there Clayhead.

spook · 23/09/2004 11:10

Posts crossed. Thanks Ponygirl.XX

connyflower · 24/09/2004 10:41

hi dunno if this will make sence but i'm kind of seeing it on the other side too! my dp best friend has left his wife and 2 kids.. on valentines day (hes a bastard) of all days and like you spook his x wife to be is now finding her strength and dp friend is now shitting him self she moved here to be with him from liverpool and is threatening to go back down there and take the kids! hes trying every trick in the book to make her stay! Caused an argument for her between her parents ect! shes now become this strong woman who has started going out again, and she is telling him when he can see the kids telling him when he can go roung to discuss the house settlement ect, i had him round my house last night close to tears cos now the roles have reversed and she is in control and he openly admitted that he'll throw anything in her way to stop her going to liverpool! i hope you can find the strenght to turn the tables on him and make him do a bit of the running! because now its my dp friend who is feeling all the pain, shes got him right where she wants him! i hope you can do the same, i really believe hell be pooing himself right now! show him your having a good time and that life can go on without him! i bet it works as i say i saw it last night and i couldnt get you out my head, i was sitting there thinking you deserve this you stupid bastard while he was telling his sob story! i really hope you find the strenghth to turn the tables on him and make him the one sitting in tears wanting his family back , sorry that was long winded! xx

Twinkie · 24/09/2004 10:49

But Spook even if he came back to stop you moving to London he would not be coming back because he loves you and wants to be with you and you deserve so much more than that!! You deserve someone who wants to wake up next to you each day and be there for you not someone who wakes up everyday and treats you like shit because they want to be near their kids, its no life for you or the children is it.

As for the sigining of the forms I don't even read them now - well my Nisi I did and it was amusing - I expected a huge big court document but it was just a sheet of paper saying I found x2b inteolerable to live with!! They are just legal documents which have to say a certain thing to get you to an end result honey. Do you really think you could live with him again to - think of how suspicious you would bem how could you trust him, you would probably feel quite good that he has come back and then how would you feel klnowing that you had to spend the rest of your life with this man who really does not have enuogh love or respect for you to treat you decently??

connyflower · 24/09/2004 13:23

how did meeting with him go x

spook · 24/09/2004 14:06

Such wise words from both of you. many people have said to me recently what you've just said Twinkie and for the first time in 8 months little niggling doubts are entering my mind about whether we could make it work. That is definately a new and startling development and can only be good.
Connyflower-it's almost bloody text book isn't it!!I don't think he's anywhere near the crying stage yet-but he will be one day I hope!
The meeting went GREAT. I came out of it calm,in control and having accepted my fate (as a single woman living in exciting London) He doesn't like that one bit but think he realises it's going to happen. I really really don't think he would come back just to stop me going Twinkie. Believe it or not he has more integrity than that. And he's too selfish to think of accepting second best (ie. me)

JuniperDewdrop · 24/09/2004 14:35

Spook please don't call yourself second best hun It makes me feel like crying.
It's got nothing to do with you as a person as to why he isn't with you. It's his problem. He didn't earn the right to be batchelor boy all over again. He's just taken it.
You're going to get stronger and find yourself coping more and more. Even if one day he does doubt his decision you'll probably never trust him totally.
I know you still love him but you sound as if you're self preserving now? I hope so hun xx

spook · 24/09/2004 14:40

I don't think it's self-preservation Juniper-just realism. There's no point even contemplating it anyway coz it's not going to happen and finally I am seeing a chink of light. And it's London and a broom cupboard and a fresh start away from here.

JuniperDewdrop · 24/09/2004 14:43

Yes but you're going in the right direction by the sounds of it and that can only be good for you

aloha · 24/09/2004 15:16

If he wants to keep in close contact with the children, he could always move to London, couldn't he? If he really wanted to...

spook · 24/09/2004 15:29

Yes he could Aloha. The only problem being that he absolutely hates London. He works there an awful lot and living there too would be his idea of hell. Tough cheddar.

anorak · 24/09/2004 15:46

Well done spook. On the home straight now

aloha · 24/09/2004 16:50

Spook, well as you are discovering, you can't always have what you want eh? You didn't want him to leave and to be a single parent, but you are having to deal with it. He hates London and doesn't want to live there, but he'll have to deal with it. He didn't give you a choice, and I would say his choice has led to some consequences he doesn't like. I would normally say that if humanly possibly divorced parents should live as near to each other as possible, but as he has lots of money and his family is in London, I think it's perfectly feasible for him to follow you...if his sons mean as much to him as he says they do...

spook · 24/09/2004 17:20

Each and every point I made to him this very morning Aloha (apart from his coming to London to live-know how that one would go down!!)
He doesn't understand why I have to go to London. I don't understand how he could leave us for a 24 year old bimbo.
There you have it!!

anorak · 24/09/2004 17:54

He doesn't have to understand why you want to live in London. You have every right to live there without explaining your reasons to him.

Blu · 28/09/2004 15:52

Where are you, how are you, Spook?

Twinkie · 28/09/2004 15:54

Spook - you are by law (something to do with Human Rights) allowed to live where ever you want and he can't stop you - well unless it is outer mongolia or somewhere like that!!

anorak · 28/09/2004 15:55

blu, spook went to the soap awards. I don't know when she is due back home.

Blu · 28/09/2004 16:12

ok - thanks anorak. Come back covered in froth and foam and tell us all about it, Spook!

spook · 28/09/2004 19:18

Hi guys!I'm back from very boozy,very expensive and very good fun weekend in the smoke.Sat next to Robbie Williams yesterday which is hard to top for me really, but did have little snoggeroony with nice young man at Soap Awards last night!!!!! First one for 11 YEARS!!!! God-I still feel fuzzy inside thinking about it. He even PUT MY SHOES ON!!!
Anyway-enough. Very weird-not only did DH stay in the house while I was away, he slept in my (our)bed and he left a flipping toothbrush in the bathroom. HE IS SO WEIRD!!!!!
But Hi Blu. I'm around and fine thankyou. Have chosen my area to live in and introduced myself to all the estate agents. Very industrious.

Blu · 28/09/2004 19:25

ooh, you do lead a glamourous life. Put your shoes on indeed. Did they suit him? .

So what area will you beliving in? I wanted to persuade you to come and live in Dulwich Village - loads of really really good schools, fab park and good enough transport links - and near me, and heaps of other lovely MN-ers!

popsycal · 28/09/2004 19:29

You sat next to Robbie? Just sat next to him!!??
How on earth did you restrain yourself?

Welcome back Spook!

anorak · 28/09/2004 20:10

What area? What area? Tell.

I'm going out now but in the morning I want to hear all about it.