Support for Spook 3

[ponygirl]

Here it is!

That's better spook

Next time don't agonize over what to wear etc. Treat it like the inconsequence it is. All this worrying didn't get you anywhere. May as well relax.

Yes, you sound much more positive keep it up girl!

OMIGOD!! I've got a job!!

WHAT?

Oh bollocks LC. What you doing there. Was going to tell you while we were on the lash tonight.

i know!! save it for later but im so intrigued!!

im sitting half nekked infront of computer reading whilst i straighten my hair

btw what you wearing

My K meeting outfit. V short denim skirt,cowboy boots,top undecided. Definate mutton and lamb vibe about me tonight.

Job? TELL!

Well-it's doing some research for my best friends hubsands Cycling Holiday company. Hours to suit and OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!! I am so so pleased. It has come at so the right time for me. Hurrah!! How's Essbee Anorak? Is she feeling restored,revitalised and wined already? I bet she is

Wined yes, as for the other criteria, well I don't know. DH has bathed her babies and is feeding everyone, me and essbee are going on the pub and curry trail you and I did last time. Have a great evening with becca. Great about the job. It'll give you something new to focus on.

God he's a twat. Have just had letter from his solicitor saying he wants more acces to the boys I have NEVER stopped him seeing his children. He wants to see them EVERY DAY!!! Take them to school or pick them up. Admirable-considering he didn't even SPEAK to them from Monday to Friday this week. And he wants them half of the school holidays. OK-fiar enough.What did he manage when they were off for 10 weeks this summer.....5 nights in Italy. Well done.
He DEMANDED the other day that he take them to Ibiza in October half term. I have already booked-so I very reasonably suggested I come home early and he flys out half way through. Am I making it difficult for him???
Here is an e-mail I sent him on Monday...

You can see the boys as often as you like. You only have to ask.They are here missing you. Ofcourse you can take them for tea on Friday.They would love that. And yes-it would make sense for them to stay over Saturday.

Didn't he give up the right to see his children every day when he walked out of here to be with a 24 year old????????????? Gggrrr. Every time I m feeling vaguely positive he fucks it up. Last night I was feeling so good about my job and going out with Becca etc. I had told him that I would no longer shut the gates at the top of the drive-it's getting too cold for the boys to hang around in the garden and I was ready to start facing him again..so, he dropped them off in the pissing rain with all their school kit AT THE TOP OF THE DRIVE!!! After banging on to me about the humiliation of having to pick up his children at the top of the drive. He makes my piss boil (to quote my good friend BeccaR)

Hmmm, a twat indeed. Hid access demands sound ridiculous and impractical to me. And, I have no experience of this, but I can't imagine any court ordering that amount of access. As you say, he's the one who's walked away and he's also the one who makes little effort to see them when the opportunities are there. Actions speak louder than words.

I hope you're keeping copies of all these emails for your solicitor and a record of his access. I know it sounds like playing dirty, but it's time you started. Tbh, it doesn't sound to me like desperation to see the boys, but a way of controlling you, because it would take a lot of effort from you to enable that level of access and it would serious limit your freedom. Jesus, who the f* does he think he is??? Talk to your solicitor, but I can't believe they'll advise you to agree to this.

I haven't posted on your thread for a while, spook, but I always check and see how things are going, and think of you lots. Take care and congratulations on the job! xxx

Thanks Ponygirl! You're darned right about actions speaking louder than words. Thinks he's such a shit hot dad. When was the last time he sat with his 4 year old going through his word tin and listening to his 7 year old read him The Hobbit??? Far better parenting to take them to the boy shop and for ANOTHER bowl of spaghetti bolognaise. Christ if he took them for tea everyday they've get fucking scurvy.

That's TOY shop-not boy shop. Though quite an ironic typo.

The good thing about all this spook is that it is forcibly removing your rose-tinted glasses and in a way helping you get over him.

The sooner you start to see him as a t**t the sooner you will stop pining for him and move on.

Every day! Ridiculous. What happens when he has to work? Are you supposed to pick up the pieces then? No. He should choose an arrangement he can actually fulfil and then do just that.

I can't believe his fucking solicitor would actually charge him to write such drivel. A.R.S.E.H.O.L.E.

Oh Spook, he really is in for a surprise...!

And now-supposed to be picking them up today for party at 1. Just had text..HE THOUGHT IT WAS AT 3!!!!! He can't even fucking get simple little arrangements like that right. Sorry Ponygirl-just letting off a bit of steam.
A.D.U.L.T.E.R.O.U.S. T.W.A.T.

God, he really is a fcking ase, isn't he?

I agree with ponygirl, Spook - keep copies of all the emails, texts etc and keep a contemporaneous account of his access - when he turns up late, changes plans etc (sorry if you're already doing this, btw!)

Seeing the boys everyday is ridiculous (is this another way to try and screw up your move to London?) and unreasonable. He walked out on them. He wants it all ways, doesn't he?

This might sound strange but I'm glad to see you getting angry. It's the next stage - you've moving on, bit by bit! Good for you!

Hi Moominmama, I am going to sit down tonight and look abck on access over the last few months and try and remember it all. Basically, the sooner I go the better. Then lets see how he's going to see his boys everyday.

Spook,

I've not posted on this before, but have followed what's happened. It really does sound like he is totally messing you about.

You are a very strong, brave woman. You are in control now and have the opportunity to build something special for yourself and your lovely boys.

Don't let the sh*t times of the moment get you down. I got divorced 12 years ago (pre-kids) and at the time it was the worst of times. Now tho', things are so much better - and I have my 2 little men as well.

Sorry for rambling. Be strong.

Sorry spook i haven't posted lately, tbh i find it quite difficult, as i still walk round with a part of me missing. I was pacing again yesterday, crying, wanting him home. On a positive note though, last year i was constantly like that, now it is every month or so. The good times are outwaying the bad.

You're not rambling mumbojumbo!! Thankyou for posting and helping me build my strength up {{{hugs}}}

Oh FF. I'm sorry you had a shit day yesterday. I hope today is better. It's just day by day I know that. I bet it hits you when you least expect it doesn't it? Thinking of you honey-stay strong XXXXXX