DH has called DD an ‘insufferable c#%t’ - am horrified

[Havetonamechangeforthisone]

I have nc-ed for this. She ‘disrespected’ him (she is 14) and he shouted that at her and told her to fuck off (repeatedly) get out of his house and stop using his electricity and eating his food.

I’m in utter shock and horrified.
In the meantime DH has not spoken to her or me or our other DD for 72hours and continues to ignore us.

He’s had similar outbursts/sulks before but this takes the cake!!

I don’t know what to do. I’m so angry about how she’s been treated. Resigned/bored with the sulking. Have learnt not to initiate conversation but have to wait until it’s brought up. It’s absolutely unacceptable but what can I do about it??!! Feel totally helpless.

Any advice?

Message from MNHQ: The OP has updated the thread. Please read her recent post here.

@beastlyslumber

WTF with all the victim blaming on this thread? Teenage girls are cunts, are they? Who probably brought this verbal and emotional abuse upon themselves with their cuntishness? Fuck off with your misogynistic comments.

OP, your husband is abusing you and your children. I'm not sure what you need to be able to see that. But I hope you are able to see it, and that you can find the courage to protect yourself and your children from any further abuse. There is only one way to do that. I'm sorry, I know it's so hard

I suppose you could always read the update.....

If My DH didn't like his own daughter he be out of the door now. In this weather.

I've read the update @Marjoriedrawers. What do you think I've missed?

What a despicable man, I would be pushing him out the door for less than that.

He has moved out and I filed for divorce several months ago.

That’s a pretty shocking update OP. I’m not sure I can say anything supportive reading what has happened to your girls.

Leave. Don't stand by and let your children grow up in a home like this.

OP HAS LEFT HIM.

You're not highlighted now Op as you are using a different name.

Glad that you got away.

I think you need to stop trying to save this and start letting go for everyone's sake. Stop clinging onto this yourself and looking for all options but leaving when that is what you should be doing, it's unacceptable.

@beastlyslumber

I've read the update *@Marjoriedrawers*. What do you think I've missed?

Maybe the fact she has filed for divorce and he has moved out? Though as she said herself it would have been better for everyone years ago.

@beastlyslumber you've missed the part where she's left, OP's update today isn't highlighted

Op I'm so glad you got put of this but so sorry to hear the struggles you're all having now. It's so easy to see in hindsight isn't it but you've done right by those girls all along, well done for getting out of there

Honestly, I would leave him.

Please don’t let your daughters think this is the way that men should treat them. It will lead to unhealthy relationships when they’re older.

I hope you’re all ok 💐

Just realised this is a zombie thread - I can’t see an update though, when I click OP’s see all.

@HoneyRose87

Just realised this is a zombie thread - I can’t see an update though, when I click OP’s see all.

Because she is usng a different name.

Counselling won't help OP.

There aren't enough clinic rooms or words in the world to make what her DF called your DD better.

You are all being held in thrall by a domestic tyrant.
I imagine he's ruled the roost for years, you have become accustomed to it, lost the capacity to tackle it head on, but this shocking incident has helped you see more clearly the extremity of the regime you are living under.

You cannot ask your DD to continue living with this man. He will blight her life, if he hasn't already.
You & your other DC shouldn't have to put up with it either.
Can you get in touch with Womens Aid, at least - to start talking through your feelings & options?

www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/

Oh sorry, zombie - got fooled by this being in Trending.

Read your post, and imagine it's someone else's. The reply I'm sure you'd give is "Why are you subjecting your daughters to this? Life is meant to be happy. Leave him, and it will be.

in case you’ve missed it- OP HAS NAMECHANGED- she has left her H and has updated on p.7

OP HAS LEFT HIM.

PLEASE READ UPDATE.

OP, Good luck to you and your girls.

Well done OP for leaving him. You can’t change the past but you have acted now. I’m so sorry this happened to you and your girls. Hoping that you all can begin to recover now.

Tonight we were spoken to

Fuck that, he doesn’t get to treat you or your daughter this way. Lead the way and show her by example what to do when you are in an unhealthy relationship and get rid of him.

Just realised you updated under a different name. Well done and all the best for the future

I grew up with a father a bit like this - he never called me a c**t but he’d ‘explode’ often - it was always ‘his house’ even though my mum worked too. I hate him still. I’d never go to him for advice - I think it knocked my confidence for a long time. He doesn’t really understand why. And I don’t have much respect for my mother. She was his door mat. Are by any chance a co dependant? Men like this are usually married to one.

Start therapy. Hth and sorry to be blunt.

HNRTFT
Absolutely horrific.
Why are you still living in the same house as this arsehole?
Leave now ,protect your children and be a good role model for what is NOT acceptable behaviour.
Your daughter will not forget this and even more so if you don’t protect her .
Good Luck 💐

He is abusive abusive. It really is that simple. He can't change because he doesn't want to. He likes being a nasty piece of work. Councilling can't fix whatever issues he has. You can't council empathy into a human being who has none.

He hates your daughter. Tell him to get the fuck out of your house. Because right now you are being a doormat at your child's expense.

Your blood should have turned to ice when he did that, moreso when he admitted after days of sulking that he meant it. This is who he is. Believe it and protect your damn child!

Tell her women should never allow partners to behave this way. And lead by example.