Dealbreaker, am I right?

[Greenskybluegrass]

My BF of four months made a comment about my DD10 and now I need to end the relationship. I just need to check that I’m not overreacting.

BF hasn’t met my children, they don’t know about him. He stayed over Saturday night as my kids were away. On Sunday morning I was making him a quick piece of toast before he left (kids due back) and asked what he wanted on it, he said he wanted some of the Maltesers chocolate spread which was in a jar on the side.

I made a jokey comment about it how it “belonged” to DD10 (she’d chosen it in the shop) and that I hoped she wouldn’t notice.

He then said that he’d already tried it and when I took the lid off I could see that a bit more had gone. He said he’d helped himself with his finger and then he made a comment about DD10 “having a long man’s finger in her sweet pot (fnarr, fnarr)” which was a clearly sexualised comment. I replied with a shocked “That’s my ten year old daughter you’re talking about!” He then left and I think I need to end things because his comment has totally creeped me out.

(I've namechanged due to the content)

Paedo

@gamerchick thanks. He hasn't been in touch yet today, which is unusual so you may be right

To be honest what he said is repulsive , did you check him out when you first started dating ? Think there’s a law in place that allows you to do this when children are involved . Anywho that’s by the by now but maybe something to incorporate in future. X
I’d actually inform the police about what he said regardless , it’s perverted and gives you an insight into his mindset which suggests he has no problem with sexualising children. Let’s be clear it’s a paedophilic statement. If someone was hinting at killing someone you’d call the police , this is no different.

He has form for getting physical (that you know about , he may have omitted a lot more detail). He sounds worrying and i’d defo call 101 just to make them aware of your situation as a single woman.
I think you should tell him it’s over just to save confusion and him turning up. Perhaps just say you’ve contemplated things and have realised you don’t have the time to accommodate a relationship right now . I wouldn’t do anything to create a row as he sounds potentially a bit unstable . xx

Hopefully he never get seen back in touch, and you don’t have to tell him it’s over.

My lovely, gentle son is autistic and wouldn't harm a fly. Nor would he stick his finger in a jar of someone else's food then link it to a child's sexual organs. C'mon!

But gross, you need to chuck anything he touched.

I'd say you've been very lucky you got a warning sign so early... You could have ended up much further down the road with this dirty pervert. Without a doubt bin him.. I felt sick reading that, what a gross thing for him to think and say

Yes you are right .... get rid and quickly. That’s utterly grim ... thank goodness your DD hasn’t had to meet this despicable creep.

he made a comment about DD10 “having a long man’s finger in her sweet pot (fnarr, fnarr)
Thats just vile, truly vile

There are men like this that seek out women with children, looks like you've had a lucky escape. Fucking nasty creep.

Don't follow your friend's advice, it's terrible.
Just don't text him back. Really. If he presses you for a response in the new few days then respond saying you don't want to see him again but by that time he may have got the message already so not be angry as he might have been if you drop it on him.

You absolutely need to bin him, OP but posters saying you shouldn't be on your own are scaremongering. Relationships end every day, this guy sounds like a dick but unless you have reason to believe he would hurt you then you shouldn't be made to feel scared in your own home!

Bin him. If he shows up on your doorstep and refuses to leave call 101.

He is absolutely disgusting and wouldnt have him within 10 miles of my DD. Run for the hills and tg as others have said you got an early insight into the real him

I don’t really think anyone is scaremongering , we’d all like to think we are safe in our own home but sometimes you cross path with unsavoury people and it’s better to be prepared than not at all. A call to 101 doesn’t hurt anyone and potentially could help the op if she needs it. Safety first always.

It's all been said by previous posters-lucky escape that was.

Have you googled him? A guy I dated had been in prison and didn't tell me. Worth a check.

Makes me feel sick.

Withdraw.
Too busy etc.

I think I'd log him with 101 too, revolting and definitely a sexual thought. It might the final straw that triggers the police to do something (if others have complained etc)

Are we really suggesting logging a comment -yes a vile one - but still a comment, with 101?

Good luck with that.

Our local police cannot and will not just "log" something. If a person reports something then the police will have to follow up with a visit etc.

Ugh. Awful comment. I wouldn't see him again.
Hope you're ok!

im not sure why you feel you have to continue to see him to break it off slowly? surely you should never want to see him again? despite his drunken fight with someone it doesnt sound like he has givn you any reason to think he would be violent to you? and surely thats the kind of man you wouldnt want to continue seeing anyway? you have no ties, no kids together, not living together, just end it.

Id say "f off you nonce" and push him out my front door by force if necessary and block his number

You can't 'log' a comment with 101

Oh and Claire's law the f**^ker while you're at it...

Ugh how disturbing. Thank god you had the sense not to introduce him to your children.