My partner is packing his bags because I said I was going out.

[kt1009]

Just that really.

Asked him what he wanted to do tonight, he said nothing. He's been at work all day. Fair enough.

Said I might go and meet my friends for a bit, he's told me I take the "piss out of him". And he's currently packing his bags.

I don't want to split up but surely I haven't done anything wrong here????!!!!

It’s a little further down the line but please don’t put him on the birth certificate.

You're already being a great mummy to your baby and protecting them from witnessing an emotionally abusive relationship and thinking that's normal, you're setting a wonderful example for your child, be proud of yourself, many women wouldn't have shown your strength x

Nothing worse than having to deal with a 'Man child'. You're better off without him, the coward!

Well done you OP, I know it must be daunting but you are incredibly strong.

Writing it down is great, I would date it.
I would get your parents to write down the conversation in the car so there is record of it too.
I would also buy a recorder and ensure I had it on me at all times and I’d record him as it may well come in handy when or if he becomes a dick about custody or you need to contact the police if he escalates which he may well do as a last ditch attempt to get you in line.
It’s unpleasant but the reality is if you aren’t clever/firm about this now you may well set yourself up for 18 years of this crap.

Mid term you'll also think about how you want to play it in terms of CSA and baby name. Personally I go for my own surname every time and if I was financially independent and he carried on with this BS I’d not bother with CSA but there are several people who can give specialised advice on here.

I hope you'll have family and friends close by to help you with the rest of the pregnancy?

Feeling very sad that we had this family planned and now it's not going to be like that at all. Like what though OP? You say you spend your evenings in separate rooms! How were you imagining life with a baby would be? You and baby in one room while the giant toddler plays with his toys in another? You seem to be ignoring the reality of your situation and have very low expectations of relationships if you were happy to live like that. You deserve much better OP and so does your child.

Don't take phone calls from him. He can communicate in writing and you'll have evidence of his abusive behaviour.

If he calls...just reject the call...or leave it to go to voicemail. If he wants to leave verbal abuse recorded.. let him do so. More evidence for you.

Your child wouldn't want you to put up with such behaviour.

You're already being a great mummy to your baby and protecting them from witnessing an emotionally abusive relationship and thinking that's normal, you're setting a wonderful example for your child, be proud of yourself, many women wouldn't have shown your strength

This.

Hi OP, I just wanted to say I think you're amazing. Well done you for being such a brilliant mummy that you won't allow your baby to be raised in a home where name calling and abusive behaviour is the norm. I wish you and your baby a happy, healthy life. 

Wow, what an amazing escape from a bully, he hid his true self from you...
Lots of us have raised children alone. And looks like you will have two sets of grandparents in the picture...
He won't change is this is his childlike attitude to not getting his own way...
Luck and love to you and your baby.

My boyfriend at Uni was like this. It was so confusing and debilitating to live with. It started off amazing and we were so much in love. He was so charming to everyone else no-one would believe he could switch. There was no rhyme or reason to his behaviour.

I knew there was no way I could have the settled family life children deserve if I stayed with him.

Stay strong OP.

Could you block him and set up an email address just for communication about the baby
(Plus side you can check it when you're feeling strong and you have a record)

Thank god you discovered his true colours now and your poor child hasn’t been exposed to his bullying behaviour! Being a single parent is a much better option than being with a controlling bullying man

He's been in touch this evening, and to say he's called me every name under the sun would be no exaggeration.

This is him being nice trying to win you over, imagine how much worse he would be in day to day life?

Don’t give your baby his surname, give them yours. Your baby will never once blame you for leaving their dad, they will see his true colours for themselves

what a cry-baby. Hope you called him a taxi and told him to turn off the lights on the way out.

Op I wish I had dumped ex before our ds was born. Much easier tho it won't feel that way just yet. Take on board the mn suggestion that baby has your surname etc. Tbh I would think long and hard about having his name on bc. He deserves no pr at this stage. Enjoy the rest of your pregnancy, and your squishy baby. Don't be pressures into including him in any damm bit of any of it - including the birth /early days. The time is yours to be stress free. Let him seek legal advice, do not make it easy for him.
Keep a time line of his behaviour should you need to prove he is a twat.

Well done and stay strong.

Don't capitulate OP, you're doing the right thing. If you give in now life will be infinitely worse for you and your child until you rid yourself of this abusive man.

Sorry if I missed where you said but how pregnant are you OP?

You poor thing OP. You're doing the right thing by your child. Their relationship model would be horrible if you stayed with your DP, and they would suffer for it.
Your ex is rewriting history now, convincing himself that you were controlling, wanted to be with him all the time etc etc. It's bullshit and never forget it. The way to cope is to think of your child, and to remember always that you want her/him to see relationships as loving, warm, supportive things.

You are doing so well. Brilliant resolve.
He really doesn't like having his plaything taken away does he?
Much better to bring up your child without a controlling arsehole as a role model in your home, calling you names and running you down all the time.

How are you doing?

Well done. You are a strong woman, and will have a much better life without this so-called man in your life. Your child will be much happier of they don't hear their dad calling their mum names or him shouting and having paddies just because he's not the centre of attention.

If you can move to be further from ex and closer to friends and family, then that will also help. Any time you feel like having him back call your parents, post here or ring one of those lovely friends. Remember what he is really like.

Mourn the relationship you thought you had but not the reality, that can be dumped unceremoniously without a backward glance. I'd hesitate to put him on the birth certificate, tbh.

How are you @kt1009 ?

Wow OP. I've just read the thread and I think you did the right thing completely. But I can understand how incredibly hard it must be in your darker moments, especially being pregnant. I hope you're ok?