My partner is packing his bags because I said I was going out.

[kt1009]

Just that really.

Asked him what he wanted to do tonight, he said nothing. He's been at work all day. Fair enough.

Said I might go and meet my friends for a bit, he's told me I take the "piss out of him". And he's currently packing his bags.

I don't want to split up but surely I haven't done anything wrong here????!!!!

Basically, once it's over, ask 'Now what was that really about, because I don't believe you'd actually leave me because I popped out to see some friends?'

OP do not let him come back!

If he’s like this when you’re pregnant, just think what he’ll be like once you’ve had your baby, you’ll never be able to go out with your friends.

Every time you arrange an evening out, at the last minute he’ll be unable to take care of your baby. He’ll isolate you from your friends and your family.

This is not what a relationship looks like...

When I tell DH I’m seeing friends he says “Oh great, have fun “ or “Do you need a lift ?” When I had car problems, he drove me 200 miles so I could spend a few days with my best friend then came and picked me up because he said the train journey would be a nightmare.

This is what a relationship looks like..

You’re pregnant, so you’re young, and you’re going to have to be in contact with this pathetic arsehole for years, but don’t let him ruin your life.

Block him, take control of your life, have your lovely baby, call CMS and take support from your friends.

Do not let him grovel his way back!

You sound like you have your head screwed on.

As pp said the change is behaviour once pregnant is classic abusive behaviour.

Enjoy your mock tails but do take a look at just behaviour prior to pregnancy you might be surprised.

He sounds like a man who believes his partner is "owned" by him.

I think his attitude is very worrying and I don't think he wants an equal partnership.

I agree with everyone.. you've done the right thing.. I know it was difficult for you.. but I'm glad you're friend picked you up and you still went out ... AND took his keys with you

If it's out of character then I would want to talk it through etc. If it's part of an emerging pattern then I really would be facing up to the idea that you might be better off out of this relationship.

Make sure you tell some people close to you the real situation so they can can keep an eye on you and give you an outside perspective if you do decide to stay for now.

I’m so glad you went out OP. If you feel comfortable doing so, talk to your friends about it, get some real life support. I was emotionally abused for years and didn’t tell anyone, I still have ‘friends’ who think my ex is a great person, and they try to tell me it ‘couldn’t have been THAT bad’ because I didn’t tell them at the time

He will phone you to apologise and make excuses.
Don’t take him back. You have so little to lose and much to gain.

If he’s like this now, the abuse will escalate once the baby comes along.You will find yourself becoming more dependent on him and it will be more difficult to leave/ kick him out. Find ways of coping now,family/ friends.Get a support network established and you will cope without him ( and his abusive control tactics)

It is always a one off/ unusual behaviour the first time. Then it is a pattern.

Please don’t back down. Don’t allow him to control you, it’s often when the woman gets pregnant that control and abuse starts. Please, please, don’t allow him to do this to you. Whatever he says tomorrow, don’t let him abuse you in this way.

Well done OP, keep strong and tell your midwife.

Behaviour has only gotten like this since I conceived!

when he calms down I know he will realise he's being an idiot and will apologise.

kt put these two things together. This isn't just about tonight, bad as tonight is. It's part of a repeated pattern of behaviour which as others have pointed out isn't a coincidence that it started when it did. If he apologises tomorrow it's only to keep you with him so that he can continue to control and abuse you.

Presumably he was fine to be around before this, which is why you were ttc with him. It's a classic script - but the version of him that he's showing you now is the real him. He's kept up the act long enough to snare you so he doesn't have to pretend any longer.

He's out of your house, make sure he stays out.

Don't take him back. He might get violent if you do. As said above, the abuse always worsens once a woman is pregnant.

Hope you had a good evening with your friends X

And I hope tomorrow brings an apology for his ridiculous behaviour and an explanation as to what's really going on.

I hope you’re home safely.

I’d be very careful, abusers aren’t a fan of losing their control and you took it away last night when you didn’t follow his script.

Ugh

A previous poster is right, he now thinks he has you trapped (by being pregnant) so he can behave how he really wants, this is his true self you are seeing now. The traditional pattern is that he will become even more controlling over time and it will get worse the more he feels he has you further trapped, by a child, another marriage, another child.

Is he jealous of your friends?

Seriously think of the future with you being as strong and Independent as you were last night as a lone parent, which is 100% doable. No problem.

Absolutely worth being allowed to do what you want, when you want or spend the next 16 years looking after your child, sitting in seperate rooms.

Hope you had as good a night out as you could? Here's to the start of the rest of your life ! Congrats ! Stay strong and keep the twat at arms length ! Well done you ! Very proud of you !

Hope you enjoyed your night. Please don't let him back into your home. He can stay wherever he went to. And you have no way of knowing if that was with another woman or not. Not what you want to hear but it happens to a lot of people. Good luck with your baby and congratulations.

OP - have you witnessed any violent behaviour? Not just at you but throwing things, breaking things etc?

How was your evening op?

How are things today, op ?

Well I most certainly wouldn't be letting him back through the front door anytime soon. I'd make him earn that right, in fact, I wouldn't even take him back and he'd be kept at arms length.

Is he actually happy at all about the pregnancy? How far along are you?

I was in a very similar boat as you. TCC for 16 months, finally got pregnant and he announces - Oh I'm not ready to be a dad and I'm not happy in the relationship, we should split up'. Twat was happy to have unprotected sex for 16 months though with a view of getting pregnant.

Don't make the mistake of taking him back as he'll most likely do it again very soon. You'll soon have one baby throwing their toys out the pram, you don't need two.