My partner is packing his bags because I said I was going out.

[kt1009]

Just that really.

Asked him what he wanted to do tonight, he said nothing. He's been at work all day. Fair enough.

Said I might go and meet my friends for a bit, he's told me I take the "piss out of him". And he's currently packing his bags.

I don't want to split up but surely I haven't done anything wrong here????!!!!

Tell him you thought he was packing to leave yesterday so why is he still here?
Obviously he’s not happy so tell him to fuck off right now. Chuck his bags out, lock the door and if he kicks off phone the police.

is he back at Home OP ? after walking out last night

Better still, if he is still out lock him out and block him. Change the locks.

Has he left yet?

I'm actually quite concerned for you. Hope you've found a way forward and can see his behaviour for what it is.

Yeah he hasn't been back since he left, most of his stuff is still here though. I don't mind him coming to get it later in the week but I need a couple of days NC to get my head around it.

Family very supportive and my friends are gob smacked. They all thought that he was the perfect man.

Glad you have his keys so he can’t waltz in and out and surprise you.

Sadly he sounds controlling and the worst thing you could do is pay any attention to his threats. Juts say ok your decision then and go out anyway. I hope his controlling behaviour doesn't escalate after you have your baby. From experience, sadly it does.

Make sure someone is with you when comes for his stuff.
You are well rid. Treat it as a lucky escape.

aaahhh the Perfect Man bluff...

you're sounds pretty switched on OP.. you'll be okay

Don't be tempted to answer any calls or texts from him.

You need time and headspace.

The stuff he left behind may provide an ideal excuse for him to get back in touch and get a foot back through the door, literally.

Is there a neutral place where you could take his stuff and leave it for him to collect?

Or could you get your dad to be there when/if he arranges to pick it up?

Could you redirect any texts or contact he makes about his stuff to your dad to deal with? Prep your dad not to engage with any apologies or any other conversation gambits, and to just stick to day and time to get his stuff and go, supervised by your dad.

Yup, "Get out, leave your keys, don't contact me again" is the best way forward.

God what a manchild. When he leaves, ask him if he's remembered to pack his toothbrush.

OP he did you a massive favour letting his perfect man mask fall on that phone call. At least now your DM/F know that he is an arsehole.

Major red flags OP. My DH May shout when angry and l can lose my temper, but name calling and leaving because you were going to see some friends is NOT right.

As another PP advised, let your DF deal with him collecting his stuff.

Personally, I would block his number so you get some head space.

Please speak to your midwife who’ll be able to offer support to you.

So pleased for you, OP. Not because this has happened but because you have seen the light and are not going to put yourself and your child through living with this man.

.

Poor thing. Now you have to raise s kid with this jerk.

Don’t let him back OP. He is treating you terribly. All this because you wanted a night out! What a child.

Thanks everyone!

Still feel ok today to be honest, had a good sleep and baby is kicking along fine which makes me very happy 😃

No contact still, worried a bit last night that my parents might get in touch with him as they were not impressed (understand that). But they haven't and won't as they don't think it'll achieve much.

Will definitely drop his stuff to him later in the week, save any hassle and his dad is really good at being diplomatic so will just make it easy for me to drop the stuff and go.

Don't know why I haven't done this sooner!!!! Although.... I must admit I do have the fear that the strength will fade and I'll crash at some point but I'll cross that bridge when I get there!

www.westmercia.police.uk/article/50822/Coercive-and-controlling-behaviour

Please look at this page OP. You are running on adrenaline at the moment but the strength might waver when exhaustion kicks in.

I think that if you are ever going to have any sort of relationship with him going forward (which you are going to have to have as he is your baby's father) Op, then you are currently taking the right course of action by showing him that you will not be bullied by him. which is what he is doing.
I can't begin to guess the motivation for his behaviour, he may be trying to "force" the OP to dump him, so he doesn't have to do it?
Time, no doubt , will tell.
Good luck Op

Wow - well done OP.
You've been fab but you will crash at some point.
As others have said he's an abusive, manipulative asshole!
Stay strong.

What an odd story, has he even attempted to explain why he thinks you were "taking the piss" by wanting to meet up with your friends? Very strange behaviour

OP just keep in mind that if this blows over and he comes back. The next time you want to go out you'll have major second thoughts because of the fallout.

Do you really want to spend your life like that?