Being taken for a mug

[onemoresmartie]

Hi everyone
Just had a blazing row with my partner because I don't have enough petrol to take him home this afternoon. I don't get paid till tomorrow and I literally have 30 miles left which won't be enough to do the 50 round mile trip
I sent him a message saying he needs to find someone else to give him a lift or message his work saying he's got transport issues and I'll take him back tomorrow morning
He's just hung up on me, I'm currently at work and he's in my house in my bed and was fast asleep till I woke him up so he could deal with the situation.
Am I being unreasonable at being absolutely livid with his childish response?

Smartie it will pass, honestly. Him being around was just habit, and can't see what positive aspect he brought to your life at all. You're doing great, hang in there and don't make contact.

Christ.. well done for getting shot of this Virus... you will get through this lady..

Yy it is normal to feel this way. You take life one day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time. You find things to distract you, to keep you away from thinking about him or from feeling sorry for yourself. I wish that I had had MN when I split up from my toxic partner. It is a great place to distract yourself and to find encouraging words and advice too.

Keep on keeping on. It will take time to break the habit of thinking about him - like any routine or habit or addiction we tend to revert to the old patterns. But each day that passes, is a day towards being stronger, and towards being free.

Have you done the freedom programme yet OP? It is only £12 I think for the online course and would give you a lot to think about.

Best of luck. You deserve better than this.

Thank you guys I'm really struggling tonight
Almost feels like cold turkey. I feel sick to my stomach, mind in overdrive, sobbing..I just want the pain to go away. I'm dreading going to sleep because it's another day

You may be devastated, but he is not. Has he made his way to your house, banged on the door, begging you to reconsider because you are the love of his life? Nope. He's missing at 1.20am, and I should imagine that involves another woman.

Onwards and upwards.

Delurking to say keep staying strong OP. Your ex does nothing, absolutely nothing to enhance your life in fact he has cheated, lied and stolen from you. You don’t deserve to be treated like this. You can’t see it yet but in time you will look back with disbelief that you let yourself be treated in this way. I spent 7 years of my life letting myself be treated like shit by by cunt of an ex. Finally, after many attempted break ups I suddenly found myself able to not care a jot about him. It happened very suddenly and was like I had flicked a switch! It was brilliant because I could suddenly see him for the piece of shit he was. I really really hope this happens for you soon so you don’t waste any more of your time or emotions on this worthless human being.

I really hope so too....I'll be very shocked if under a week later he's bedding someone else he's hardly a catch but he is a very good actor!
I need to forget him and focus on the positives...last night was horrendous I hardly slept my mind in overdrive but I still didn't unblock him.
I just hope I can get through the weekend as my ds is with his dad and I'm already dreading feeling very low and lonely

He won't contact me as he will be angry...that's what he said last time that he hated me for leaving him. I just don't want there to be any hate I thought he was the love of my life

You said his family hated him on one of your earlier posts.
Why would they be wanting to spend Christmas with you and him?

Because they are all going away and they can't exactly not invite him and me...when there has been no fall out exactly I just know and can tell how they all feel about it...it's embarrassing to be part of..at least now I don't have to be

If you keep doubting if you did the right thing judging by your posts I have to say this-if he was into drugs and owed money to a drug dealer you do realize you and your child were in danger being associated with him? He also stole from you,cheated on you and was abusive! You should seriously consider therapy to help improve your self esteem and boundaries within a relationship. I think you would benefit tremendously

I can't afford therapy, someone recommended the freedom programme so I may start that
I need to let go of the idea that he was my soul mate...it can't be possible that he was it

I think because there was no proper conversation had to end it I feel like I still need to talk to him
He doesn't want to talk to me or he would of by now...

There is no point talking to someone like that. All he would do is blame you. You're far better off not having the conversation to start with.

I just wonder what his reaction would be...it can't feel any worse than how I feel at the moment

It really can. And it also might lead you back again. Don't do it. Do look at FP or other support.

Why is he acting like he doesn't give a shit! This is what I can't deal with like I meant nothing
That's because I obviously didn't

I dont ubdwrstand the christmas thing. Its not an issue. You break up, you dont go. That's what happens when you break up...
Yes it's horrible Basically breaking up with the family but its normal

He is acting the way he always has. Putting himself first always. He didn't really care about you. Or anyone else. Not because of your faults. Because of his. KOKO.

What is KOKO?

I really think what you do with your life is up to you. If you want to be in a shitty relationship with a loser and waste your life, go ahead. Using food, heating and petrol on this waste of space is money that you should be spending on your dc. That really annoys me OP, you sound like you are 15 years old. You have to feel so sorry for children who have a parent who is sooooo in lurve they will put up with the dregs of a man. You really are a mug.

Wow nice...a mug that's finally walked away and is looking for support. Enjoy your wonderful Friday

It means Keep on Keeping on. Which is what you should do. It is really hard and shitty atm but it willbget better. It wont if you go back to him. So KOKO!

Look at sex and love addiction Anonymous website, they should have a place near you or some online links, it's like AA but for how you deal with relationships and what you will take and accept from a partner.
People get in a pattern of enjoying the abuse and issues because it makes them feel loved. I don't think I've worded that right, but what I'm saying is there's a reason behind why you miss him and want him even though you really do dislike him.

You are being silly, expecting him to do things that he hasn't and won't do and what your not seeing is he will not and never will change because you both got in a pattern- you have enough and contact him.

I dated this guy who was a joke, very jealous and would try and belittle me. He wouldn't call and say sorry and because I'm stubborn and realised that I would allow this man around my dc why should I have him round me.
A year later he called - told me that I had insecurities issues but that he loved me, and would of given me the world and been a dad to my dc! Hahahahaha, sorry I still laughing at that.
He then went on to tell me about the gf he had from the last year, how she was shit in bed, how he couldn't stand her dd, how she was devastated that they were over and how she had taken care of him.
I told him ' thanks for the BS and the Jeremy Kyle story of your life but that I am happy and thank you for not saying sorry because I could of been her if you had.
Get some support  Get some strength and move on to a new relationship with yourself.

He ate all the food for your DC, left a mess and smiled? You are well rid of him. Stay strong 💐