Being taken for a mug

[onemoresmartie]

Hi everyone
Just had a blazing row with my partner because I don't have enough petrol to take him home this afternoon. I don't get paid till tomorrow and I literally have 30 miles left which won't be enough to do the 50 round mile trip
I sent him a message saying he needs to find someone else to give him a lift or message his work saying he's got transport issues and I'll take him back tomorrow morning
He's just hung up on me, I'm currently at work and he's in my house in my bed and was fast asleep till I woke him up so he could deal with the situation.
Am I being unreasonable at being absolutely livid with his childish response?

This. Please have a look.
freedomprogramme.co.uk/

I'm still on the family group chat I can't leave it today when he's in a life threatening surgery...that would be a nasty thing to do

The dad won't be on it though, will he?! So get off it now. It might seem rude to get involved in a 'how are you' chat to then vanish, but, not now.

He is in theatre at the minute I don't think it right to disappear but obviously I'm sending thinking of you messages to his partner...having not of spoke to my partner since Tuesday afternoon 

Why not just send messages direct to his partner? You obviously have their number. Just come off the family group chat.

We are all wasting our time here

You owe them nothing. It is not YOUR fault that you are disappearing at this time.

If your awful partner wanted you to be around for them in their hour of need, he wouldn't have been such a terrible human being to you right beforehand.

This is a common abuser tactic: having a huge blowup that makes you sick and want to leave, RIGHT before/as something big is going on that ties you to them ... a family vacation, or a medical issue, or a child taking important tests ... and it'll turn out, there'll always, always be something.

He is playing you like a fiddle and you're going right along with it. "Oh, I can't POSSIBLY leave the group chat." If you don't, you'll end up back with him. Simple as that. Don't erect fuzzy boundaries based on everyone else's feelings. Consider this a lesson in how to create firm boundaries even when it's difficult and other people's feelings might be hurt. YOUR FEELINGS MATTER MORE. You owe yourself more than you owe this family you're about to have nothing to do with.

AnyFucker Agreed

Just come off the group chat and message his partner directly it’s not rocket science...

I have had news that the dad is fine now...why can I not bloody block him! I'm annoying myself now

Block him for your child's sake, or you are exposing him to your partner's habits. How the hell do you think social services would react if you got on their radar? I'm sorry if this frightens you, but you could lose your child. My DP was a Foster carer for years and the kids he cared for were often taken away from environments that exposed them to drink, drugs or violence. Sorry if this is harsh but it's how it is.

You're annoying us, too. You're one of those posters who just enjoys the drama and coming on here to share it.

I'm out.

BLOCK HIM NOW.

... and now I'm out.

The only ones being taken for mugs are all the kind posters on this and all your other threads who have offered you advice and support. They have taken time out of their lives to post, and you continue to waste their time. What is the actual point of any of this, you will carry on in this madness no matter what. And that's ok, it's up to you. But what isn't ok is asking for advice you won't take.
I'm not trying to be unkind, but some people won't be helped.

I am beginning to think you rather enjoy the drama.

It's done..I've blocked him
I can't sleep and my anxiety is ridiculous

I'm sorry I really don't love the drama
Thanks again everyone

Don't care if I get cusses. .of u wanna get over him like the old saying goes...get onto another...u will never move on from him until someone else gives you that attention so book a night out with mates this weekend and go flirting and you will see there is plenty of other men willing to give you what you need and in time it will build your confidence up to say fuck this shit im worth more xx

The best way to get over a man, is to get under another one

Seeing as you are essentially a rent paying lodger, I don't see why you can't bring your new fancy-men home.

But I Luuurve him... nah you don't. You are mistaking drama for passion. I've done it. I'm not doing it again. I had 6 months of being single and met someone nice. I wouldn't have cared if I hadn't met anyone else though because these days I have a lovely relationship with myself.

Well done Smartie - you've blocked him. You didn't think you could but you have. Now what? What else do you need to do to make this permanent?

There's nothing else I really have to do but stay strong which is the hardest! Not be tempted to go to his house and see if he's alright or what he's upto
Driving to school and work this morning I broke down wondering if I've done the right thing
It's tough

Keep thinking of every single thing he has done to make you angry.

I can't remember the exact wording but a while back you said your parents will always be together. No matter what. Do either of your parents mistreat one another? And is that why you allow yourself to be treated so badly?

Your parents have seen you upset. Do they tell you that you should stay with him?