Being taken for a mug

[onemoresmartie]

Hi everyone
Just had a blazing row with my partner because I don't have enough petrol to take him home this afternoon. I don't get paid till tomorrow and I literally have 30 miles left which won't be enough to do the 50 round mile trip
I sent him a message saying he needs to find someone else to give him a lift or message his work saying he's got transport issues and I'll take him back tomorrow morning
He's just hung up on me, I'm currently at work and he's in my house in my bed and was fast asleep till I woke him up so he could deal with the situation.
Am I being unreasonable at being absolutely livid with his childish response?

Well done. Keep him blocked. If you know that alcohol makes you weak, either avoid it for the time being or charge your phone in another room.

It's great that you have a date tomorrow; I hope he turns out to be a lovely guy who treats you respectfully (I.e. 10 times better than the last one)!

I am dreading date already but I'm sure it will be fine...any words of advice?? It's been a while since I've been on a date 🙈

Um, do you really think it's a good idea to have a date so soon?

I hate to rain on your parade, but don't you need to learn to live with yourself before you start looking for someone else?

You are right. Today is full of self doubt and hate even tho the date went well. I'm not ready yet but thought I could force myself to be and today I hate myself

Don't beat yourself up smartie, if may take you a while you're stil raw.

I've been reading your thread since it started...Please for the love of God don't go back to the leeching, entitled tosser....I wasted years of my life with someone like that and getting rid was the best thing I ever did.

Focus on you and dc without anyone else destroying your peace x

I am still reeling that he called me horrible inside
I can't quite believe that he has said that after everything I have ever done for him.
It's hurt me so bad, I haven't left the house today and I'm starting to think everyone thinks I am horrible

Is he deflecting? Gas lighting?

Both! He is invested in making himself look reasonable and his behaviour sound excusable. To do that he has to make you the bad person. Don't believe it!

I can't believe he thinks that I am horrible inside
I'm devastated

It has really affected me...I didn't go to work today

He's just saying that as part of his mind games. You are not horrible inside!

Please stay strong and don't be afraid of asking your doctor for help.

Why do you give a flying fuck what he thinks?! He’s hardly a poster boy for good judgement, he’s talking bollocks

My ex used to do this with when I got rid..

You weren't horrible when he was in your house, burning out your gas, watching your netflix, eating your food and running him backwards and forwards like a taxi service though were you?!?

Think about this rationally who is the horrible one here?

Who gives a shit what he thinks anyway...he's essentially about as pleasant and useful as a bag of festering garbage

I need to not care...early night and a film and praying to wake up tomorrow in a better place mentally

When was it he told you you were horrible inside? Is this recent? Has he been in contact?

Yes it was on a message from another number last night and because I had a few glasses of wine I responded.

So he is lashing out and trying to get into your head.

This man does not love or care for you in the slightest. He is lashing out because his meal ticket has said no more.

Why on earth would you allow his opinion to affect you in the slightest? Are you starting to see him for what he is?

What about the suggestion of knocking alcohol on the head for a bit so that you don't weaken? Do you have plans for the weekend? Even something low key to keep you occupied.

So he's now bullying you by text to try to get you to feel bad. I think it's pretty clear who the horrible one is here.

I once had a new mobile phone for a birthday - state of the art. Latest very expensive model. DH then connected it all up, handed over his own fairly new mobile and asked me if I'd prefer to have his phone instead...it was obviously a present for himself.
Like you, I told him to 'do one'. I didn't want his present and I certainly didn't want his old newish phone.
Left him to stew on that and booked a couple of nights for myself in a nice hotel.
I was furious.
He didn't do it again.

Wrong thread I think?

I strongly urge you to read up on codependency and people pleasing smartie.

You are perfect prey for someone like him and unless you recognise his tactics for what they are you will keep letting him worm his way back in, and this cycle will continue for many years to come.

You need to stop listening to his words and start looking at the facts! As shatners wig said read through your previous posts.

Dont engage him at all...Block and grey rock

If he does get through on another number just completely blank him and block the number....

When you respond and defend yourself all it tells him is that not sure of yourself and there's room for him to manipulate you...

If you really want this to end you have to stop all contact completely.