Being taken for a mug

[onemoresmartie]

Hi everyone
Just had a blazing row with my partner because I don't have enough petrol to take him home this afternoon. I don't get paid till tomorrow and I literally have 30 miles left which won't be enough to do the 50 round mile trip
I sent him a message saying he needs to find someone else to give him a lift or message his work saying he's got transport issues and I'll take him back tomorrow morning
He's just hung up on me, I'm currently at work and he's in my house in my bed and was fast asleep till I woke him up so he could deal with the situation.
Am I being unreasonable at being absolutely livid with his childish response?

Ooooh I missed the bit about him cheating on you two years ago. You know what you have to do, this is NOT a normal relationship. He's toxic.

OK, now I see you have kids, with this cocklodger taking up space and creating a poisonous atmosphere ...he'll be gone in ten minutes, and you really never have to see him again.

So when he crooks his finger in a day or two you will be driving over to pick him up again...yes ?

We're all here hand holding and waiting with you for him to leave Smartie. As Ginger says, just 10 more minutes to go and it's done. Oooh, 8 now.

Thanks I've just came upstairs and walked through the living room and he's said nothing. Luckily my dc isn't here picking up the bad energy
I'll go and collect him once arsehole has gone and put on the brave face that I'm so used to painting 😔

This sounds like the end of a nasty period of your life Smartie. The next stage starts tomorrow. Good luck.

Get rid OP and never look back.

He brings nothing to your relationship. Absolutely nothing. Do not let your resolve go now. When he is gone and you feel your resolve start to weaken, just remember how bad today he had made you feel. I bet you feel violated, humiliated, angry and pissed off. Rightfully so. Hold onto that and never ever let him make a mug of you again. I'm concerned about the fact you said he will get violent. Has he been violent before? What happened when you forgave him for the ow? Has he always treated you like shit or was it more since then?

Has*

You know that horrible, anxious, uncomfortable feeling you have when he's around? you will NEVER have to feel that again after today. Instead, once you've licked your wounds, spent some time with your DC, maybe a night out with the girls, you can breathe again, maybe spend some time on your own, asking yourself why you tolerated this asshole in your life for so long, or go dating again, meet a guy who makes you smile, who respects you, makes you feel secure and you know has your back.

Why are you with this loser? Get rid!

It's pretty much always been me putting all the effort in, we split up after a year and he moved away and out of my house. We now live apart so our finances are separate as he gambled,does drugs etc so this was the best way.
We have a messed up relationship I can't seem to live without him but can't live with him either
He always has and probably always will message OW but I'm perhaps in denial that he ever acts on it. He isn't a catch for anyone, he just about holds a job down but is in and out of different ones every couple of months, he doesn't drive, his family hate him etc I could go on really

I am far from perfect but I don't think I deserve the treatment he gives me when I'm the one making all the effort all the time
If it wasn't for me driving to him we wouldn't see each other he never has money for a bus nor would he ever get on one

Sorry went on a bit then but I'm ranting upstairs on the phone to save myself having to speak/look at him. 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE kick him out and kick him out FOR GOOD

Are you going to dump him OP? You really need to!

Smartie

You certainly do have a messed up relationship with this person.

What did you learn about relationships when you were growing up?. Did you see similar at home?.

Read up on codependency in relationships because you seem to be codependent. This would explain why you are apparantly putting him and his needs first and foremost above your own self and these children. Maybe you thought your love for him would somehow turn him around and make him a better person. But he was never yours to rescue and or save.

Kick him out.
Chuck out his stuff
Change the locks
Block him on social media/phone.

I read about some men and instantly think FFS..I'd be drier than the Sahara faced with some lazy azz useless idiot. Cocklodger does not spell "sexy".

Call the police to get him out then OP. Its a shame to give your key to a cheap scrounger in the 1st place. He lives 50 miles away so his broke ass self likely won't be able to travel to hassle you. & if he does, get the law onto him.

He's a skank . I wouldn't let that lie on my floorboards, much less my bed.

Yuk.

He's left, said bye with a grin
I've come to get my ds now

I'm still Furious

Change the locks TODAY!

He doesn't have a key

Are you ending it, smartie ?

You know something, he does have the money but he's not prepared to spend a penny on you. And he knows you will feel guilty and do all the work. He's horrible. You'd have to be mad to see him again.

Yes I think I have to
What choice does he give me? He isn't going to come crawling or apologise for treating me like a piece of shit

He's waiting for you to do that

Waiting for me to do what?

Come crawling and apologise