Being taken for a mug

[onemoresmartie]

Hi everyone
Just had a blazing row with my partner because I don't have enough petrol to take him home this afternoon. I don't get paid till tomorrow and I literally have 30 miles left which won't be enough to do the 50 round mile trip
I sent him a message saying he needs to find someone else to give him a lift or message his work saying he's got transport issues and I'll take him back tomorrow morning
He's just hung up on me, I'm currently at work and he's in my house in my bed and was fast asleep till I woke him up so he could deal with the situation.
Am I being unreasonable at being absolutely livid with his childish response?

Please do not take him back! You’ve got all our support.

I spent ten years in a relationship like that and they were the worst years of my life.

Can't he give you money for petrol. Assuming he works and can afford it.

The best day was when I told exh to leave after years of him being a man child, always threatening to leave, spending all our cash.
You deserve so much more op, and your poor dc - they should not be in this environment which I am sure you know already.

Oh ok OP. Only earlier you said you'd asked him to post your key, which suggested he does have a key to your place

All that money wasted on him, when it could be benefiting you and your children. It's a shame.

Children First.

I'd still get the locks changed. You never know, he may have had his own key done when borrowing yours.

People treat you how you let them. You've demonstrated you'll accept substandard treatment from him, so why would he bother treating you with respect, when he doesn't have to and faces no consequences.

He sounds like a waste of time and space.

Raise the bar a little higher .

I would never treat anyone like this, no matter how much they "let" me

My DH is the most easy going bloke I know and would do anything for anybody but I manage not to abuse him

Op's man there is abusive and she needs to decide she is better than this fucking loser, not that she "lets" him treat her like shit.

I haven't heard from him since he left and so the silent treatment will go on for a few days or he will message me like everything is fine

My mum and dad are at their wits end, I was in tears at their house earlier. I'm 30 years old and I should be in a loving supportive relationship or on my own
Either would be better than this hell

That possibility is entirely within your control

Running back to him would prevent it

I really don't think we can go forward

He is selfish and I don't get anything out of this relationship
Going to sleep feeling very upset tonight

Thanks for all your support and replies

Stay strong. Don’t put up with this shit any longer and don’t model such a terrible, contemptuous, destructive ‘relationship’ like that in front of your kid.

It hurts like hell because detaching is a wrench, even from the worst piece of crap. Attachment keeps thousands of people in painful, miserable existences. So don’t let that sense of attachment sway you - it passes.

Good luck. You can do it.

Op why are you choosing to have a shitty time with that loser?
In the kindest way....you need to get a grip.
There are a million guys on tinder etc who aren't anywhere near as appalling as this guy.
He really is the bottom of the barrel.
I expect you will go back to him, I really hope and wish that you don't though.
Good luck 

Good luck

You took the hardest step now you need to follow through.

• does he have any reason to contact you?

Has he left stuff at your house? If he has can you box these up asap and send them to him.

• can you block him from your phone, social media etc?

I have started a 30 day no contact thread you are welcome to join, as I have just ended my long term relationship

I'm going to be blunt. Seriously OP, what the fuck are you doing with your life? I recognised you the moment you started posting because you've had more threads about this "relationship" with this bloke over the last few months than he's cooked hot dinners (he's the lazy chef, for those who don't know).

On 16th Sept you said "Finally ended things today. Blocked on all avenues. No contact starts tomorrow. I hope I can be okay"

Two days later you were on here asking for help not to cave in and take him back (yet again, as you've split up previously, I think several times). Within two weeks you were back together again.

Take a long hard look at all your threads for the last couple of months. Read them back to yourself several times. You literally repeat this cycle again and again - realise the relationship is shit, ask here for advice, we all say leave (well, split, because you don't live together), you split, you're back within days asking how to not to get back with him, we advise you mustn't, you get back with him, within days you're back moaning about him again and asking what to do, we say split, you split, then you get back together, then you're here again.

Time to get off the cycle.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3316511-does-anyone-else-think-they-would-get-more-attention-if-they-were-single
24 July

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3337986-lazyitus
16 Aug

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3354418-am-i-imagining-this
3 Sept

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3361965-can-t-do-it-anymore
10 Sept

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3369036-tell-me-off
18 Sept

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3373028-it-s-been-one-week
22 Sept

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3373774-gas-lighting
23 Sept

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3384572-not-going-anywhere
4 Oct

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3386302-this-isn-t-normal-or-am-i-needy
6 Oct

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3391760-living-apart-can-it-work
11 Oct

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3392888-good-enough-reason
12 Oct

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3399642-i-know-things-that-should-bother-me
19 Oct

Wow Shatner that is brilliant! I wish I had the same ability to look at mine but I changed my username.

That's very telling OP. You need to get this done for your own sanity.

@Hiding I've actually commented on some of the OP's threads before, so I recognised her and couldn't believe we were back here yet again. She's not listening to any of us at any time, despite what she says, so maybe if she actually reads her own words several times, maybe, just maybe, a penny will drop.

I don't think it will though.

@shatners I know. It's so frustrating. I've been where the OP is and held on to a deadbeat relationship with someone who sounds similar to her bf. It seems crazy from the outside! The saddest thing about it is, it's just a massive waste of time.

I recognised you too OP, I just can't believe you're still with him. Why?

Hope she does end up but have a feeling he'll be back round in no time

I know all of what your saying...it just doesn't ever seem to sink in
I would tell any of my friends to f**k him off if it was the other way round but there's no sanity in the way I let him treat me and also how little I get out of our 'relationship' if u can even call it that!

I'm angry at myself, I've wasted 3 years of my life loving and caring for someone who will only ever care about himself

He reels me back in with a guilt trip normally and I can't seem to stay away from him. It's toxic and messing up my life

If you can't stay away from him for yourself, do it for your kid. Do you seriously want them having a shell of a mother and learning that this is how a normal relationship is? Give yourself a kick up the arse, keep yourself busy and block him on everything that he can contact you on, change your number is you have to. He's like an addiction so go cold turkey.

You need to go cold turkey

Block him on everything that he can contact you on or change your number.

You said yourself he won't travel to you, so I doubt he'll show up at your home

There is no reason to contact this man again

Just block without ending it? What about his family etc? Supposed to be going away at Christmas with them all 😔

Everything is such a mess

Just block! His family won't be arsed about you seriously