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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner away with work - left to look after his children and dogs

988 replies

Kitten76 · 26/10/2018 10:54

I moved in with my partner 18 months ago and his two sons - now 18 and 15 and his two big dogs.

He was working normal hours in the area with a good job and salary/car etc.

But about 6 months ago he decided to hand in his notice and start working offshore as a freelancer. I didn't want him to do this as we haven't been together long and our life was great.

He did it anyway, regardless of me.

I am now working full-time whilst keeping the boys in line and looking after the dogs whilst he is away. It's a stress and I am suddenly a single parent for a big chunk of the year. I have no children of my own really get on with the boys etc - but I feel used and it's making me resent him.

I have spoken to him about this and he's said he will not give up his 'dream job'. He gets defensive if I challenge him.

If I move out I am back to expensive rents and a big upheaval, but I don't know what else to do. It's making me fall out of love with him.

Any advice greatly appreciated.

OP posts:
thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 17/11/2018 20:16

Was wondering how you were! Congratulations - enjoy your freedom! 👏👏💪🍾🍰

Otterseatpuffinsdontthey · 17/11/2018 20:20

Q

dontalltalkatonce · 17/11/2018 20:25

YAY! So glad for you. Well done! You will so enjoy not having that drain on your time, money and energy.

woolduvet · 17/11/2018 20:43

Fantastic. The house was meant to be.

SandyY2K · 17/11/2018 22:22

Excellent update.

Well done you.

Annasgirl · 17/11/2018 22:30

Congrats on your new home and your new life. So happy for you. Thanks for the update, it’s so great to read a happy ending. Keep popping in for support and am so glad that your RL friends and family are there for you.

penisbeakers · 18/11/2018 03:11

Well done for making the escape in time for the festering festive season! 🌺

FishesThatFly · 18/11/2018 04:34

Great news!

What happened with the furniture?

CarpeVitam · 18/11/2018 23:02

Happy for you OP and your happy 'ending'. Thanks x

FishesThatFly · 20/11/2018 07:14

@Kitten76 how are thing's?

Kitten76 · 21/11/2018 17:05

Hi,
Well I'm in and settling.

Still some boxes to go through.

I've not seen any money so I took my stuff.

He has asked me today for money back he's given for food and has accused me of moving in with someone else.

OP posts:
PanicwiththeBisto · 21/11/2018 17:13

Tell him he meeds to settle with you what her owes you per hour for housekeeping duties such as child minding, dog walking, washing and ironing, cooking, and driving first!

maximumcarnage · 21/11/2018 17:13

Congratulations and making it through. I’ve been reading this thread since the beginning and I always appreciate it when the original poster gives updates. Especially one with a happy ending.

Well done and best of luck on your new life.

PanicwiththeBisto · 21/11/2018 17:13

needs!

Trinity66 · 21/11/2018 17:15

He has asked me today for money back he's given for food

Cheeky fucker, tell him you will settle up with him after he pays over due child minding and dog sitting expenses

WrongSideOfHistory · 21/11/2018 17:15

Do you need to be in touch with him?

Make sure you've redirected all your post and changed your address on everything then block his number.

Joysmum · 21/11/2018 17:19

He’s deluded. I’m glad you took your stuff. You don’t need to reply do you? Is there anything you’ll need to be in touch with him for in the future? If not I hope you’ll see the advantages in never responding to him.

Congratulations on getting out of there and best of luck for your future Flowers

Budgieinaberet · 21/11/2018 17:19

I'm so pleased, ignore him and block.
I hope you have a fantastic Christmas Flowers

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 21/11/2018 17:22

Cheeky fucker. What is wrong with these men?
Hurrah for your new place. Onwards and upwards. And the second that you don’t need any contact with him, block him.

BumbleBeee69 · 21/11/2018 17:24

tell him to SWIVEL Grin

Oh I do love a happy ending, and OP you've given us one, such wonderful news, I'm so happy for you Flowers

Workreturner · 21/11/2018 17:24

Good on you!

Will you miss the boys though?

Dirtybadger · 21/11/2018 17:27

Say you've comfort eaten you way through the money Hmm

MorelloKisses · 21/11/2018 17:31

Oh just block him!

Kitten76 · 21/11/2018 17:46

Thanks ladies. I'm blocking him now.
Don't need his rubbish.

I will miss the boys, yes. But both have asked to stay in touch so that's good enough for me.

He's getting no money from me! Apparently all he did was love me! Urgh. Dickhead!

OP posts:
romany4 · 21/11/2018 17:54

tell him you will settle up with him after he pays over due child minding and dog sitting expenses

This!!