Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Trouble is Daffo the list is very small!

So the guy that was feeling under the weather now feels fine and asked to meet again.
I said I don't mind or next weekend.
Now decided on next weekend. I'd rather watch strictly than feel pressure.

@hopeless, oh no! Just be glad you didn't wasn't more time. He doesn't sound great.

I'm with all of you, I can't and won't do sex talk before I meet someone. You just know you will meet and there will be nothing there and it's massively awkward.

After you've met and there's spark. Yes!

My one and only iron is still chatty. Mr music. We are still chatting about every thing and every thing and some mild flirting. Perfect. Only a week until we meet :-).

Feeling shit. Think I have been ghosted by Mr BTO after 8 weeks. He's a crap texter any way but not heard from him since weds (I initiated) and he's been away working for 2.5 weeks. He was due back this eve, last thing he told me before he left was that he would be coming back from the otherside of the country via his home town (sort of half way) as he had a memorial service to attend today (genuine) and he didn't know what time he'd get away from that. I would have expected him to update me by now, nothing... But we didn't actually make a firm plan for this weekend. No text since my last to him on weds night which was a direct reply to his previous. Last time he went away for a week he didn't text to say he was home but it was mid week and he knew I had my kids, we met up as soon as I was kid free. I was over invested, I liked him. Hey ho.

Hope everyone else is having better dating!

Oh that's awful poor you shit

Sorry to hear several people are having a rubbish time. shit sorry you had to go through that, I feel sorry for his partner, I can’t beleive she wants to stay with him.

I think I have been ghosted too, not heard from Mr Speedy for a few days, I really can’t be bothered to chase, I sent the last message and have heard nothing since. Had a little look on Tinder today, not much on offer and felt really bad that I came across quite a few men I have already chatted too or been out with.

It's my constant 'fear' of being ghosted as it seems so common and easy to do!

I'm dating a guy but trying so hard to play it cool! It's only been 4 wks and I need to keep reminding myself that!

Argh wish I didn't over analyse everything!

who I kind of expect it now, I have been ghosted so many times, seems to be the done thing, people often move on to someone else and can not be bothered to send a text to say they are no longer interested. I think I have grown a thick skin and rarely get upset by it now.

@shitwithsugaron that's so awful, and even worse that he's got away with it and she's staying with him!
What an absolute bellend

love,shit,cold sorry to hear your news.

Some men can be complete bastards

I think someone said on another thread some people forget that we are actual people behind the messages

Hi everyone. New poster here. Been on Bumble for a few weeks. Only 1 date so far (not a match). One guy has been messaging me since I joined - started off really keen messaging throughout the day... but no mention of a date. He is separating but hasn’t moved out yet (is that a red flag?) and has been too busy to meet. Now the messages have trailed off and I’m left thinking WTF? I thought we’d got a good connection. Why on earth do they bother when they have no desire to meet up?! Now I am thinking it might just be an ego boost for him. Pfft.

@Lompopo as crappy as it is, rule 4 really applies here.... it's all bullshit til it happens!
People are all on there for their own reasons, I was guilty originally of joining straight after coming out of a shitty and toxic relationship and it was totally the wrong thing to do as I wasn't in the right head space. I ended up coming off for a few months and getting myself sorted before joining again.
I also always told myself that while you may have felt a connection, it's a numbers game and as harsh as it sounds, he may have been chatting to others with whom he felt a better connection. That's no reflection on you at all, nor on him, it's just how it is.

.... Mr BTO may have earnt a reprieve, he texted at ten to advise shitty traffic and we will make a plan to meet up once he's up and about tmrw.... So now I can wait anxiously all morning to hear from him! Gah!

lompopo I'm finding that too that some men just want penpals.
Seperated but living together sounds fishy to me, it depends what you are looking for.

Have you tried Tinder? It worked well for me. Chatting to multiple people will give you an idea of what you are looking for

Thanks wishy. I know you’re right and who knows who else he is connecting with and finding time to meet for dates? The rules on this thread have helped me. You’re right re: no 4 and I also repeat no 7 to myself quite a lot. I’ve learned a lot from this time-waster.

Waiting What is it with these people?! Why on earth join a dating app with no intention of going on a date? Baffles me a lot. I’ve not tried Tinder (maybe because of its reputation as a hook-up site?). I may try on your recommendation and will report back

Personally @Lompopo I'd stay sway from anyone who was still living in an 'ex' partner. It's just too risky... Are they truly separated or just making an excuse, you'd never know.

My guy is feeling a bit better. Still wasn't in the mood to chat much last night. I'm holding off sending a good morning msg today.... Think I should wait for him to contact me??

shitwithsugar I know right now you are hurting so much but soon you will thank your lucky stars that you are not stuck with him - imagine a man who may or may not have mental health problems and all that entails and then him going off with other women on a whim just because he can.

Class A wanker if you ask me

You are worth so much more - take a few days to wallow, watch some crap TV and eat some chocolate and then come bouncing out the other side.

Still looking like I won’t be going on a date tomorrow, still not heard anything and I really can’t be bothered to do the “is tomorrow still on?” message. So it looks like another child free Sunday on my own. I do have another iron from a week or so ago who contacted me a few days ago, I feel really bad as I didn’t reply to his last message as I was getting fed up with him asking me to meet him at stupid times (school pick up time or times when I was working), he doesn’t have kids and works 9-5, I have kids and work silly hours so it’s hard to find time when we are both free even though he lives ten minutes drive away.

lompopo I tend to attract men who want pen pals unfortunately, I don't understand it really, why spend time wanking over a woman who would like to meet you and would probably have actual sex with you??

I do think some men who've been hurt fall into this group, frightened to put themselves out there and risk being hurt again, they're less emotionally resilient than women in my experience.

I'm currently chatting to MrPB who I've met once, he's definitely in that category, but we are planning a second date so fingers crossed he gets his act together. That's part of the problem though, you can hang on chatting for weeks and they never step out of their comfort zone and you've just wasted your time and been annoyed.

Some are just trolls.

lovemusic He's keen and convenient though, so worth a coffee?

Really don't know if this date is going to happen tonight, I don't understand!

At the beginning of starting to msg he was so keen and replied fairly quickly - now it takes hours to reply. I'm still waiting for a reply off a msg I sent yesterday at 3.30pm that he has read! I don't get how communication can be so hard.

Starting to feel shit now as I was quite excited by him and for a long time felt he could have potential. Oh well! A Saturday of wallowing for me!!