Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

The money this is interesting.
I'm happy to let someone pay for the first few dates. But I know I should offer to go halves after first date.
I spent 30 quid going to London the other week and he travelled 10 mins so would have been annoyed if he wanted me to go halves haa

Just catching up on the thread, so I'm obviosuly very rusty with flirting etc having been out of the game for so long, and ewith me posting about innuendoes etc, where is the line between flirtimg and blatant innuendo?

For example, 4am Guy (think I've just found a name lol) and i were asking normal questions and i asked him what he did. he told me and i asked him a shortened question to that as "quite hands on?". The reply I got was "Yes i sure am" followed by a wink. So, the question is, is that just flirting or is that innuendo? Is there a difference? I think I thought of this as innuendo and he didn;t actually answer my actual question (which related to his work which was obvious from the previous context of the conversation). Am i totally being OTT due to having had messages from so many idiots this last week and possibly I'm oversensitive due to weeks of MrCheekybanter's shenanigans over text??

@ pudding21 thanks for you response. What a creep your shy guy was......the male of the species is an enigma for sure!!!

@scots I would say that's flirty banter myself,

For my proper sexual talk would be about what size are you boobs, sexual acts etc.

Flirting is fun if your happy with that

I like guys who find me attractive and would want to have a date that leads on to sex.

It's the ones who don't flirt at all I get miffed at!

@unique I think secretly I would like a man to pay

In real life I don't know any men who pay, I don't even know any who buy women they like drinks! It's all 50/50

I found any sex talk before meeting really generic and boring and when I was on OLD my profile stated something along the lines of "I'd rather watch paint dry than hear about how horny you are so if you can't stimulate my mind without referencing your penis then I'm not the girl for you" with the attached picture as one of my pics 😬There were still plenty who tried it, but they got ignored or sent this 😴

@WaitingforMrHardy hmmm yes, i can see that is probably flirty banter, think then i'm oversensitive at the moment as it's been a heck of a baptism of fire for me and this OLD malarky lol.

@wishywashy6 love it! I've saved that lol

I am awful at flirting in the lead up to a first date or even just with the opening messages. I want a woman to know I am attracted to them but at the same time have too much respect for women if you know what I mean when it comes to all that and I especially don't want to come across as creepy. I even wonder sometimes if a few 'xxx's or a heart eyes emoji is too much sometimes. The thought of engaging in sex chat or sending a dickpic just wouldn't even be in my thoughts.

washy added to my Tinder

Rich I think you can be respectful and show a woman if you like them. A little compliment and flirting goes far

With the paying for drinks thing, I think it's fair enough to go 50/50 on a first date. I am happy to pay and kind of expect to being a guy but now days it is a little off-putting for me and I tend to finish a date early if the woman doesn't offer to buy the second round. I guess I've been burnt by having plenty of first dates but then getting the 'sorry no chemistry/spark' the next day. It's also so expensive going out even to a normal pub in London so 3-4 drinks can come in at over £30. Not intending to come across as a cheapskate but if you go out on a fair few dates a month then you can easily end up spending £300 on first dates that amounted to nothing.

Im keeping up with this thread but rubbish at remembering who is seeing who etc. Some going well others not so good but keep at it ladies, my friend always tells me 'get back on that horse!!' And shes a wise woman!

So not sire who will remember but i had a date last week with Mr Roses. Texting has been intense from day 1. Spent the evening with him Sunday and then spent this morning with him.

Embarrassingly have to admit to getting completely over invested but in my defence his chat at times blows me away. Anyway we had arranged to see each other Monday but then he decided to stay away over the weekend into Monday due to the weather (he surfs) and i'll admit i thought wtf.... thanks!! Spat the dummy, we exchanged words and i thought Fucking hell that was a rollercoaster! However the wise words of aibu assured me i was being a complete dick and so i apologised and we are back on track.
I think he is actually quite a complex character and whilst im totally into him and keen to see how it develops im just slightly confused about who he is. There is a lot to like and im having fun so thats enough to be going on with.

Im loving hearing about everyone else and the joys of old.
There is ine guy i chat to i met on tinder but there is no flirting and i dont fancy him but he is funny and interesting. Im not sure i can do irons! Wish i could becaise it would probablyhelp me not get over invested but i feel like i can only be into one person at a time. Also i have very limited free time.

I’m not good at flirting with people I haven’t met. I found that even slight innuendo at the start put me off a bit.

There was one penpal guy who messaged me for weeks who kept trying to make comments about me in swimwear (as I’d told him several times that I’d just been swimming, because he’d asked what I had been doing). It just f I found it really irritating and ended up saying things like ‘my swimsuit is from sports direct; they don’t sell anything sexy’. In the end I blocked him as it was obvious that he was just wasting my time (vague plans up meet that never materialised) and I wasn’t actually interested (he seemed to spend most of his time playing video games and that’s not what I want in a 40 year old man).

I was adding in a bit saying that it all just felt a bit juvenile with Mr Penpal. A kind of beavis and butthead reaction to the idea of a woman in swimwear.

But that probably doesn’t need saying since it’s clear from what I said about the bloody video games at the end.

I suspect that one will be single a long time.

Lol that reminded me of my friend who went on a few dates with a guy. He arranged for them to go away together for the weekend and he booked a cheap travel lodge in Hemel Hempstead, when they got to the room he unpacked his Playstation 3 and started hooking it up to the hotel room tv. She left promptly when she realised his intention was to just to get his leg over and play video games in-between.

This might be a weird one but I friendzoned a bloke and he just keeps going on and on about his loads of dates and it's making me feel shit as I have zilch irons. I actually liked him as a friend but it's now driving me mad. I don't want to cut contact but how do I handle it?

@TwiceMagic hahaha I had a guy like that who to begin with seemed vaguely normal but when he found out I had horses he repeatedly made reference to how good I must be at riding wink wink (like I've never heard that one before 🙄) and constantly kept going on about how he'd love see me in jodhpurs and saying 'mmmmmm I bet you smell great after a ride' 😳....: I really don't 😂
I think some men have this warped sexualised view of equestrian women in tight jods/ knee high boots & carrying a whip..... reality is we usually stink of shit, have hay and straw in our hair and if you can find us under 12 layers, wellies and bobble hats then you're lucky 😂
I told him pretty much the same and didn't hear from him again

eesha you could go about it in a jokey way ' yes I know 🙄😝'.

Is there a chance he's trying to make you jealous?

@WaitingforMrHardy he did like me but I think more to do with him being on the spectrum autism wise so I don't think he realises he is going on and on.....I'm considering defriending him as it's making me feel crap and I think I'd do the same if he was a woman too!

@richdeniro I’d have left too. Honestly, what’s wrong with some people?

@wishywashy6 That sounds possibly even more irritating than Mr Penpal was. My swimwear (including a very fetching cap and ear plugs) is about as sexy as your mucking out horses look. And the lingering smell of chlorine is glorious too. I think I was more annoyed because it indicated that he just wasn’t interested in taking me or what I did seriously.

Anyway I was not disappointed that Mr Penpal couldn’t manage to tear himself away from his video games to meet me. He kept suggesting the (not all that great) pub right next to where he lived, and then going missing before popping up again after the day he’d suggested with some crap excuse. I say kept - he did it twice. But by that time I’d already decided he was a useless man-child and I was not interested.

@Eesha He sounds hard work even in the friend zone. You’re not obliged to keep up contact with him, especially if he’s making you feel bad.

@TwiceMagic yes that's what's most annoying about it, whatever you're talking about they try and steer it back to their dick or sex. So boring.

That's one of the main things that stood out to me about the guy I'm with now, he actually listened to what I said, conversation flowed and went off in all sorts of directions without once discussing anything sexual. I found that more attractive than anything.

I think I'm talking to too many irons at once! It can get confusing

And my date tomorrow is the one who barely talks... Sods law!

@richdeniro, you sound perfect if you can't flirt or send dick pics, can we clone you please?

All the guys that i have had message me put xxs at the end of all their messages, it's really weird to me, is it the norm now? STBXH didn't do that even on a day when he wasn't being an arsehole lol.

And cringe at how they turn everything into sexual banter, that is pretty much what MrCheekybanter was like and so it really irritates me now if I'm having a conversation and they make it go off on a tangent (sort of like my previous post today about 4amGuy about whether it's flirting or sexual banter, he still didn't answer me directly lol)

Just had a slightly excruciating date.
I quite liked him but it became obvious after about half an hour that he didn’t like me.
He went to the toilet and when he came back said ‘what are you doing for the rest of the evening?’
Oh!!
I think I spent more time getting ready than I did with him.

Onwards and upwards hopeless. At least you can cross him off the list!