Dating thread 141 - fun and games

[Koko12]

Hope not stepping in anyone’s toes but thought I’d start the new thread as old one was full and I wanted to post!

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Hi apparently I think it's important to stay grounded. The date will either end in romance, friendship or you will never see him again. I keep that in mind so I don't put too much pressure on myself.

As for the last guy, he was just being petty. Of course you should wait for someone you have a spark with. He's just peeved you didn't feel it with him so is trying to make you think it won't happen.

Loads of relationships start online so he hasn't a clue

HereIgoagain that's exactly what I thought that he was being petty! That's why I just sent a 'thanks you too!' Msg as I could if quite easily gotten in to an argument as to why sparks are worth waiting for etc!

Haha I'm going to try and stay grounded on Sat night - it doesn't help I'm having to drive there so won't be having a drink for Dutch courage! I am excited though.

Ps. How do I reply to someone on these threads? Or tag them in etc

Anyone else thinking they are being too picky? I'm not swiping much if at all, but was chatting to a friend who has 15 chats on the go! It's a bloke by the way, on Bumble. How is that even possible? Am I just too fussy?

My Saturday date Mr E, is a slow texter... Very slow

I know I know it's different styles but I would like to think he'd want to chat since he asked me out on the date!

I'm looking forward to the weekend, but even if it goes well, I wonder if our styles will match 🤔

Eesha I think men swipe 80% on women -it was on another thread somewhere.

Out of about 15/16 matches on tinder 2 messaged first!

Current mood has me thinking of telling OLD to take a running jump. Thought I would get back out there instead of moping about Mr Cheekybanter, first guy who messages sends a dick pic within the first 3 lines and then a second guy is looking for a submissive. The other 2 are older men who are out of my age range.Where the hell are all the normal guys my age and why do I attract arseholes???

Apparently I don't drink at all so I never have Dutch courage.

I've a date next weekend so trying to stay grounded too. He's a good texter, do we are in touch a bit. I think byvtbd time we actually meet we will know everything about each other anyway. I hope there is a spark, but if not we have both agreed to be friends. He's just really sound and interesting. Same age, bald. Never been with a bald man. I'm 46 now, maybe I should get used to it

Scots what site are you on???

Pof is still rubbish.
Maybe next year when people are single again...
I don't like to start anything in January really. Bit rebound.

scots do you want to swap... I have had no pics, dirty talk or anything! I must look like a mum (I am one!) But still only 32.

Have to tried tinder? There seems to be slot of people using it, my friends and I all do

I'm paying for Match (nothing brewing there at all, is such a waste of money). Also on POF which is where most of the response is and joined Bumble last night whcih is like a ghost town unless i get the boost to see who has viewed me! Is tinder worth it?

scot well it's free so there's nothing to lose!

You can set distance and age range, I think it's probably on of the most popular apps

hereigoagain I like a bald man! I rather there all bald then the dreaded going bald and holding on to what hair they have look!!

Oo what are you doing for your date? The bloke I've been texting generally is a good Msger but haven't heard from him since this morning. But this is where I need to stay calm and realise that he has a life outside whatsapping me!

I like match. I don't set a distance as that really isn't a big problem for me. Also, if I just looked for men in my city (small) I'd be looking at only a handful.

So many of the men don't bother to put up a decent photo. If they can't be bothered to make an effort with the photo then why will they bother to make an effort with anything else including me? It's baffling - really unflattering selfies with no thought put into the composition or background.

Sometimes photos taken with several others, one of whom will be noticeably good-looking, so you don't know which one he is! But you can be pretty sure he isn't the good-looking one who was presumably included as a hook. But how sad is that! A bit like a profile photo wing-man.

I think the way a person communicates online is really important. Are they making an effort to be engaging? I've had a few disastrous responses when a bloke was presumably trying out 'negging' on me. Really horrible and so rude. If someone can't show some manners and some consideration at the outset then why would one expect things to improve? It's all about getting the quality of the interaction right. If that goes well then I think one can reasonably expect real-life interaction to be okay. Although there definitely are some people who don't really want to meet in real life.

However, there is that all-important chemistry or 'spark' and I don't think you can tell if that is there or not unless you meet face to face and spend some time together. It's not always there straightaway as it can sometimes creep up on you unexpectedly.

In the end is it just a numbers game? I've found it all quite depressing but then I hardly ever meet anyone I feel a spark with.

Butterballs I too am astounded at the photos some men put up. Terrible focus, long distance, standing in front of the mirror with a phone obscuring the face, lying on the bed top off....

Some of them don't even wear a clean shirt.

And these will be the men that are annoyed or who can't understand why no one responds.

I think men that are serious about meeting someone will make an effort. I imagine most women make an effort.

Apparently he is bald bald. I hate that look where they just keep the tufts of hair at the side.

Going up to where he lives and to his restaurant. it's a few hours away but that doesn't bother me. I have a busy life and don't want a heavy relationship after splitting with a partner in June (lived together).

@ScotGirl - Tinder is one of the most popular apps going, of course there is more to swipe through but then there is also more to sift through...... But, I have found the quality to be better on Tinder compared to my experience on POF. That was an absolute nightmare.

Still the same ratio of weirdos and players but I have had some nice dates from Tinder.

:-)

hereigoagain ahh that sounds lovely, he has his own restaurant?! I always thought I would struggle with distance - I only ever search within like 20miles of me. The bloke I'm seeing sat night is about a 40min drive from me.

Since being single I've definitely re-evaluated what I want from a man now and what I'll put up with. I'm 29 and a professional, independent and renting a place on my own. I'm using what I am to seek that in someone else - trying to aim for potential! I have also noticed I'm attracted to blokes who subconsciously I want to fix or who need a lot of support so looking for someone who's got their shit together now!

I hear you Apparently . I think it helps to have an idea of the sort of man you want, and that includes the traits you don't.

I'm taking my time. There is no rush.

Would anyone else find this a bit off putting?! Have a date on sat - he's been really chatty up until today, he's just msged after I asked how his day was and expecting an answer like he's barely stopped all day etc. However, he's just replied stating he finished work at 3 and has been bored in his hotel room all evening!

To me I feel well he clearly doesn't want to talk to me then?? I'm a bit confused

@Apparentlyacatch I'd be more worried he couldn't find something interesting to do since 3pm. Sounds dull!

@apparently sounds like a very literal man! He was probably just being honest but still...

I think texts are so hard to read though they are without context

I’ve been bored in a hotel room could actually be an indication that he wanted to chat to you.

Before I met him, my boyfriend was away with work and at a loose end. So we spent hours messaging about nonsense. Afterwards I was really quite certain that I’d like him when we met.

@Apparentlyacatch no I wouldn't be put off at all.
You've not met yet, he owes you nothing.
I don't mean to come across harshly, but if you've not even had a first date yet you shouldn't be expecting to be the one he runs to when he's bored. Perhaps he just wanted some time out 🤷🏼‍♀️
I wouldn't hold it against him, if I'm at a loose end (very rarely!) I don't message anyone as a source of amusement, not unless I've got something I want to say.
I don't think it's a big deal, enjoy your date and see how you feel after ☺️