Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

My new bf has disappeared...

275 replies

DizzyBeeme · 20/10/2018 19:32

Hello all...

I wonder if anybody can help..my new partner has literally gone awol. We have been together for nearly 6 weeks now and he calls / txts me about 20 times a day . He is really into me and we have a lovely relationship. He lives about 2 hours drive from me. On Wednesday I received a distressed phone call from him..saying some friends had stabbed him in the back and..he sounded broken and said it was not my fault..I then got a flurry of txts from him..and a final txt at 6.50pm saying his phone was out of battery and his body really hurts... he sounded panicked and very distressed. I tried to call/message back but phone was off by this point.

Since then. Nothing. His phone is switched off. I don't have any family or friends numbers yet..and apart from drive down to try and find the man..I do not know what to do.

I'm thinking Maybe he needs a few days to sort himself out...he has not been on Facebook or any social media at all. He is a responsibly physiotherapist with a great job..I'm st my wits end ladies. I really really care for him..
I just dont know what to do.. help..

OP posts:
Original poster
DizzyBeeme · 20/10/2018 20:23

I'm calling him.my partner because that's what he was. I.called him my.bf..partner..does it really matter. He.doesnt use watsapp. He would normally txt or call. Anyway I've messaged his fb friends let's see how far I get.

OP posts:
Theyprobablywill · 20/10/2018 20:24

Sounds like bollocks to me. Have you checked the hcpc register to see if he really is a physiotherapist?

RLOU30 · 20/10/2018 20:25

When you call him does it say the phone is off or could it be that he has actually blocked you? If he has Watsapp can you see his picture and time stamp ? If his phone is off and he is generally awol since Wednesday I would probably be concerned for him and message a friend of his on FB? Nothing stalkerish just causal concern?

huggybear · 20/10/2018 20:25

I'd be worried about him tbh.

RLOU30 · 20/10/2018 20:25

Sorry cross post with you there, OP

Original poster
DizzyBeeme · 20/10/2018 20:26

Thanks for that theyprobablywill I'll do it now !!

OP posts:
GrandTheftWalrus · 20/10/2018 20:29

Have you met any friends or family? I know you don't have their numbers.

Just what someone said about maybe another relationship sounded quite likely.

theworldistoosmall · 20/10/2018 20:30

Have you ever initiated the calls before?

barkisworsethanmybite · 20/10/2018 20:30

Think he was cheating (with you) on someone else and he’s had to end it with you fast!

Sorry. That’s my gut feel!

RLOU30 · 20/10/2018 20:32

What OP calls her new bloke is neither here nor there to be honest. I would have been concerned enough for my partner “40 days” into our relationship to act just the same as OP has.

Original poster
DizzyBeeme · 20/10/2018 20:34

Thanks rlou30 x right now I just want to ensure that he is ok..I'll deal with everything else later x

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 20/10/2018 20:38

I also think it sounds like he wanted a fast getaway. He's probably married or in a relationship. Can you see anythig to indicate that on Facebook? If HE doesn't post pics of himself with his circle, look on the pages of those closest to him....those who have the same second name.

RLOU30 · 20/10/2018 20:38

Really hope you hear something soon x

BewareOfDragons · 20/10/2018 20:39

I'm sorry, OP, but it sounds very contrived and 'convenient' that his phone was going dead and he hasn't been able to charge it or use another one for days.... days...!

Bollocks.

A dramatic exit by the sounds of it.

Ifoundanacorn · 20/10/2018 20:39

Breathe.

Call his parents.

If you don't know their number, then this isn't your problem and you should drop him. 6 weeks is way too early, he is either playing you or left he building

rainbowtrain · 20/10/2018 20:41

He does not have mental health issues.. he is a physiotherapist...
Other than that I would drive to check on him if someone said that stuff

However! A couple of years ago something similar happened to my friend. The guy just disappeared

He had a girlfriend it turned out

BUT I would check on him. You know him OP, we dont

Holdingonbarely · 20/10/2018 20:42

RED FLAGS ALL OVER THE SHOP

Womanlikeme · 20/10/2018 20:43

When you said he was stabbed in the back and his body hurt it sounded like he was literally stabbed. Completely different spin on it when you say it wasn’t that.

YuhBasic · 20/10/2018 20:43

He was cheating with you. He got rumbled and panicked.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 20/10/2018 20:44

On Wednesday he was distraught, upset by something his friends had done, had a rash he was worried about and his last text to you was ‘Oh my god no...’ ? Then nothing?

Blimey. I’d have contacted one of his friends immediately.

AnoukSpirit · 20/10/2018 20:45

Is ghosting normally accompanied by this level of amateur dramatics?

Dodgy people always seem lovely, otherwise they wouldn't be able to get their claws into anyone.

Alwa · 20/10/2018 20:46

Hope you hear from him soon

Celebelly · 20/10/2018 20:46

he was worried about a rash spreading on his body.. and his.lasy words were..oh god please.

I think I'd be calling 101 after a text like that and then silence.

Ilikeknitting · 20/10/2018 20:46

He sounds too much of a drama llama, dump him and if he makes contact again, tell him to do one!

mummmy2017 · 20/10/2018 20:47

Please don't call his work
Should he not turn up, they will call anyway, and he has friends so will be missed and they live there..
Wait and see what happens, as if he is just off the grid to think, you will find he isn't happy you have over steps some boundaries.

Swipe left for the next trending thread