He threw chocolate cake at me?

[Willow789]

DH took DS out earlier, then dropped him at my DM's for a sleepover. He then went to meet his DM for coffee. He said he would be back by 5:15.

I've been on my own all day with DD 4 months. We are going through a bit of a hard time recently, but as a couple we have been fine. I've been feeling very sorry for myself all day and was very excited for DH to come home with the chocolate cake he had promised to pick me up from the coffee shop. At half 4 he messaged me about bad traffic so it will be more like half 5 by the time he gets back. Fine, whatever.

Half past 5 he messages me saying that he's getting my cake now and then leaving but there's bad traffic in the area (there is, local football team is playing today and traffic is always a nightmare).

Quarter past 6 he gets back. By this time I have somehow managed to work myself up about the fact he said he would get back over an hour ago but still isn't home. Hormones, lack of sleep, other stuff going on etc etc. When he gets back I'm having a little cry (pathetic I know) and say to him 'I don't think it's fair you promised me you would be back an hour ago but you have only just come home. I've been on my own all day with DD and I just wanted some help.'

Anyway, that escalated into an argument where he says how he needs a break too, how he should be able to go for coffee etc etc. He's annoying me by this point so I just say leave me alone. He throws the chocolate cake at me, calls me a stupid bitch and storms off.

Wtf?!?! He's never done anything like this before. We barely argue. I'm confused and upset.

Don't feel like a failure because you are getting a med to help with PND. It is a dreadful thing to have and hits anyone. A family friend, who is a GP herself, was incredibly unwell with it, and thankfully, doing well now.
You sound more positive and that's good.
Let's hope that DH gets his arse in gear.

That's such good news. I hope the medication sorts the baby out, some decent sleep would make a huge difference to everything. Please don't feel a failure because you've been prescribed medication too - after all, you wouldn't feel a failure if you were prescribed drugs for a physical illness.

It sounds as if this episode has been a huge wake up call for your husband. It's a shame the price had to be so high for you.

You are so far from being a failure - how else have you coped with all of this for 4 months?! Don't put yourself down, you've done amazingly and on hardly any sleep. You've got so much going on, it's a miracle you are still standing. Failing would be sitting in the corner pretending everything is OK - you've confronted all of this head on and should be very darned proud of yourself for doing so.

I hope the meds help you and DD get through this. And I hope your DH realises how lucky he is to have you and he can't behave like that again

Why are you a failure? Medication is prescribed for an illness! Whether you are just exhausted or it is the PND recurring, having DH on board and medication to get you through this tough patch will help. Put your own needs first for once and stop taking everything on board, including guilt for needing (perfectly justifiable) medication

You’re not a failure for taking medication. I hope it helps dd as well, and that the talk went well.

That’s good news OP...! You should find the omeprazole works quickly and will make a difference within a few days.... it can take a good month to reach its full effectiveness and don’t forget the dosage may need adjusting upwards as your DD gains weight so don’t dispare if her symptoms seem to return after a growth spurt. Just get the GP to adjust the dose.

Hope you have all turned a corner now and things start to look brighter

Ps, I found this a useful read

www.medicinesforchildren.org.uk/omeprazole-gastro-oesophageal-reflux-disease-gord

Please do (fine, gently) remind him that he's not 'helping' when he's home; he's doing his share.

I'm glad you saw your GP for you and the baby. I hope the medicine helps the reflux and you start feeling more like yourself soon.

Good luck.

willow I’m happy that you have received the help you and your dd need.
Hopefully this will make everything easier, notbthe least if your didn’t is much more settled.

I do agree about reminding yoUr DH that he isn’t ‘helping’ but doing what any father and partner should do, aka 50% (ish) of the parenting and housework.
Your MIL sounds ace btw,p.

So so happy for you op x

I agree it's not 'helping'. As long as he thinks he is 'helping', he will (1) see you as incompetent, and (2) feel you owe him.

Well done your MIL if she set him straight.

Hoping the omeprazole will be the magic bullet for DD

Also, please don't see yourself as a failure. You are taking medicine for an illness, just as you would with any other illness.

How are you getting on OP? Hope things are going well now you're back home.

Hello everyone. Had a very tiring week - medication is helping DD massively (thanks everybody who suggested silent reflux could be the reason why she cries) however it only seems to help during the day, not at night. She's up every hour and a half to two hours. This is fine-ish when DS is at nursery as I can get my head down when she's asleep.

DH is being more helpful, but he's not done much 'working from home' this week so I don't know whether that will change when he actually has to go into work everyday. DS is out with my mum at the moment and DH has got DD so I'm in bed watching this week's bake off.

Hope you are all well!

Glad things are OK, if tiring

OP glad the medication seems to be helping... what’s her current dose?
What time of day do you give the omeprazole?

I saw a gastroenterologist once who said he always tells his patients to take it in the evening because reflux is always worse at night and that way they have the benefit of the highest concentration of medicine at that time - maybe try that?

If she’s on a low dose it may need escalating quite quickly....

I am three weeks into omeprazole for my little boy and it DOES get better at night. There is a thing called the acid battle that takes a few weeks to settle on a PPI medication. The last few nights have been so much better - complete turnaround. Like you the days improved pretty quickly. Hang in there. There are some useful Silent Reflux support groups on Facebook

I’m so happy that things are settling down with your dd.

I’m also happy to see that your DH is been more ‘helpful’. I hope this will be a proper long term thing (and that he will be doing MORE than just ‘helping’).

I'm sorry if I've missed it, but have you tried propping one end of the cot on some books or the like? It helped DD massively, kept the acid down in her stomach rather than creeping up her oesophagus as she slept.