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Original poster

DP not happy with pregnancy

190 replies

BigfluffybearBum · 18/10/2018 15:30

I'm 25 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy was a shock but we were both happy I thought. Last night I asked DP had he thought about names and he said he hasn't got any ideas. I jokingly told him to sound more enthusiastic and he replied with 'well the baby was hardly planned so I've never thought about names'. I asked him if he was happy with the pregnancy and he said 'well I wasn't at first but I acted happy for you'. I'm actually gutted he's not happy about this. I know it was a shock but I'm now 25 weeks gone and obviously pregnant so i thought his feelings would be more positive by now.

OP posts:
Original poster
Bigfluffybearbum · 16/11/2018 22:22

Hello all. Just an update if anyone's still around. I haven't heard from my ex apart from a few texts Asking when my next appointments are etc. I've been feeling down and my midwife suggested anti depressants but I don't really want them through pregnancy really. Thanks for everyone's help on this message

OP posts:
SandyY2K · 16/11/2018 22:36

Have you responded to his texts? Is he asking to attend these appointments with you?

You're best focussing on the baby right now. I know you didnt expect to be alone...but you have to assume he'll not be very involved. That was you won't be disappointed.

Original poster
Bigfluffybearbum · 16/11/2018 22:40

He wanted to attend the midwife appointment but I said I wanted to talk to her alone. My friend is coming again tomorrow to stay for a few weeks so I've got support for a bit.

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inlectorecumbit · 16/11/2018 23:11

Good luck with the appointment.
Perhaps you should start thinking about who will be with you at the birth. Do you have a friend willing to do that-- your ex does not have the privilege of being there, he has forfeited that right as you need someone in your team/on your side. He does not need to witness you in your most vulnerable state giving birth.
Tell him you will contact him gain when the baby is born and then block him.

Original poster
Bigfluffybearbum · 16/11/2018 23:47

My friend is staying round my due date so will be at the birth. he's offered to move some of his work so he can move in

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Rachelover40 · 16/11/2018 23:56

He'll be fine when the baby arrives, over the moon. Actually plenty of men are like that, even if they've been trying for a baby sometimes they think it probably won't happen and it's a shock when it does. The weight of responsibility hits them. They get over it.

You wait until he's born, your husband will be a changed man.

Original poster
Bigfluffybearbum · 16/11/2018 23:59

He's not my husband and after the way he's treated me will never be that. he's an ex and will remain that way. he got his bit of fun pregnant he's not interested at all

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Rachelover40 · 17/11/2018 00:01

I mean wait until your baby is born, not your husband :-).

(Though husband will be a new man.)

Tetrapanex · 17/11/2018 00:10

Flowers your friend sounds wonderful. Hope you start to feel brighter soon OP.

AgentJohnson · 17/11/2018 08:36

So it wasn't a contraception failure, it was plain carelessness. Given that a terminaton was never on the cards it does make you think what the hell you were playing at.

Your bf has been a bit of a dick but given the mystery surrounding your eldest son's paternity, contraception carelessness and having the man who has lied to your son about his parentage hang around, it does sound like you really do need to act more responsibly.

Keeping your 'friend' dangling is a very dangerous game indeed. He lied to your son to keep the option of you and him getting together as an option. Which makes you colluding with this falsehood, at best foolish and at worst, irresponsible.

Your Ex's summation of your sex life says more about them than it will ever say about you but your inability to take ownership of your own behaviour will bite you and those closest to you, in the end.

AgentJohnson · 17/11/2018 08:42

Tetrapanex wonderful, really! He's place marking and using a child to do so, urgh, manipulative arse. And the OP is either to naive or loving the ego stroke to do anything about it.

Original poster
Bigfluffybearbum · 17/11/2018 10:15

I don't know why I'm being accused of getting pregnant on purpose and dangling my friend. it's weird on here

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Original poster
Bigfluffybearbum · 15/12/2018 12:52

Hi I haven't been on here for a while. I wanted to thank everyone for the sensible comments. I'm 34 weeks now so on the home ward stretch and very excited

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ISpeakJive · 15/12/2018 13:23

Your bf has been a bit of a dick but given the mystery surrounding your eldest son's paternity, contraception carelessness and having the man who has lied to your son about his parentage hang around, it does sound like you really do need to act more responsibly

Ding Dong!!

Original poster
Bigfluffybearbum · 15/12/2018 13:57

so I deserve to be dumped at 6 months pregnant due to that?

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