DP not happy with pregnancy

[BigfluffybearBum]

I'm 25 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy was a shock but we were both happy I thought. Last night I asked DP had he thought about names and he said he hasn't got any ideas. I jokingly told him to sound more enthusiastic and he replied with 'well the baby was hardly planned so I've never thought about names'. I asked him if he was happy with the pregnancy and he said 'well I wasn't at first but I acted happy for you'. I'm actually gutted he's not happy about this. I know it was a shock but I'm now 25 weeks gone and obviously pregnant so i thought his feelings would be more positive by now.

He's asleep and will go mad if I wake him lol. I could wake my friend but he's had a long flight to get here

Try to switch off and go to sleep. I know that’s easier said than done when your thoughts are going round and round, but you’ll feel so much better in the morning. You’ve got your friend there, you’ve got your ds. You’re not alone, you can do this.

For later today, try putting your phone on silent, properly silent not just vibrations. On iPhones it's "Do Not Disturb" mode. That means your phone won't even vibrate at all. He's bugging you too much.

I hope you managed to get some sleep!

Good luck for later OP. You're awesome and deserve better xx

I've just told my friend what's happened and he's gone mental. He's refusing to leave me alone with ex this evening.

Glad you have a good friend there x

Tell your friend you need him to support your decisions, it won't help if he goes in like a bull.
You can sort it, and you will.

Thinking of you this evening op. Glad you’ve got a loyal friend there. Hope your ex faces up to his responsibilities and apologises for his behaviour.

He was expecting you to run after him.

Don't feel you have to be friends with him. Tell your DB about his cowardly text saying he didn't expect you to get pregnant.

He came round acting sheepish. He's told me he panicked as the due date is getting closer and I'm talking about baby names. I feel like he basically doesn't want to commit although he says he does. I've told him he's not moving in and I'll contact him when my next midwife appointment is due and he can attend if he wants.
He's gone home with his tail between his legs. pathetic

Well done, OP. I think you've done the right thing. I suspect he would have let you down again.

@BigfluffybearBum brava! You're so brave and no nonsense. I'm so happy you have your head on your shoulders.

If you want to continue to get support, maybe you could/should ask MN to move this to the Relationships board.

I actually can't be arsed with him. My feelings have hardened as the weeks gone on

I actually had thoughts about us getting married and now I realise I was a bit of fun. A bit of fun he accidently impregnated. He doesn't want me he wanted sex

We're just moving this one to Relationships at the OP's request

Hey lovely, you weren't a bit of fun, 2 years is a full blown relationship. If he never thought of having children then it will have been a shock to him and he's reacted horribly. I think you're doing the right thing but don't discount you two getting back together. This will probably let him see what he's lost.

And ignore your ex's stupid comments. Who you have sex with is no one's business and it doesn't make you anything. Whether you do it because you enjoy it or because you love who you're with it doesn't matter. Yes, sleeping with a married man isn't great, but the blame lies with the married man who made vows to his wife.

Oh op. I'm fuming at his comment that you were a bit of fun. What a cunt. He is a disgusting shit and he knows it.

I'm sorry you're going through this op. You're being very brave and strong. Although you must be terrified inside, well done for getting rid of the useless twat.

Thanks everyone. I'm really tired today. DS has gone to a Halloween party then he's staying at a friend's. My friend has offered to extend his stay as his work is mobile so I'll have someone here.

My ex called me a barren slag etc etc etc. No one would want me because I'd shagged around and was a slut. And couldn't even give a man a baby like a real woman. Probably barren cos I'd been such a slag. Etc etc. Now very happily married and at peace with my barren slag of a self!

Bastards will find your weak spot, the one that makes you over think and negative about yourself, and they'll use it. Doesn't mean they're right. Just bastards!

You sound incredibly switched on and self assured. Don't let an ex's horrible little voice in your head make you think you are not wonderful and worthy!! Ex was a bastard and this one is an immature scared, cowardly little man who doesn't want to face the consequences of his own actions!!

You will rock this!

That's good of friend.

You have a brilliant friend there OP and seems like you also have family support. Regardless of what you have done/has been said to you in the past you do not deserve to be spoken to and treated like this. You have made the right decision bloody hard but right you're an awesome mom to your current DS and you'll be a fabulous mommy to your second DS you can do this 

You sound so strong, OP. Don’t give another thought to what your ex said about you. Whatever you’ve done in the past won’t affect meeting that someone special. I know girls who have loads of ‘fun’ in the past who’ve gone on to meet someone who valued them and treated them right!!! Don’t listen to such rot, you’re stronger than that!!!

I like the sound of your friend. Was there a reason why you didn't have a relationship with him?

I've known him since we were kids. My Ds thinks he's his dad . He had offered to step in but my heads not there at the minute to contemplate anything like that