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Original poster

DP not happy with pregnancy

190 replies

BigfluffybearBum · 18/10/2018 15:30

I'm 25 weeks pregnant. The pregnancy was a shock but we were both happy I thought. Last night I asked DP had he thought about names and he said he hasn't got any ideas. I jokingly told him to sound more enthusiastic and he replied with 'well the baby was hardly planned so I've never thought about names'. I asked him if he was happy with the pregnancy and he said 'well I wasn't at first but I acted happy for you'. I'm actually gutted he's not happy about this. I know it was a shock but I'm now 25 weeks gone and obviously pregnant so i thought his feelings would be more positive by now.

OP posts:
befairdontjudge · 22/10/2018 12:09

Any word today?

HoustonBess · 22/10/2018 12:13

God, what a twat. The time to say if he's not going to be there for you is early in the pregnancy, so you can decide whether you're willing to go it alone.

Original poster
BigfluffybearBum · 22/10/2018 13:18

No word. My brother wants to go and confront him about it but I've told him to leave it Looks like I'll be a single mum to 2 kids by 2 dad's brilliant

OP posts:
bubbles092 · 22/10/2018 13:24

I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. I hope so, for yours and baby's sake!

EleanorLavish · 22/10/2018 13:35

You sound very switched on, independent, and stable OP. And loving.
So I think you’ll be a brilliant mum again this time round. And don’t let anyone tell you differently. You hold your head high lady, it’s certainly not you who has anything to be ashamed of, it’s your ex!!

Original poster
BigfluffybearBum · 22/10/2018 14:28

Thanks Elenaor. I'm just pissed off. Why act happy when he's not? Why plan to move in? Why have sex with me on Friday if you're going to get rid of me?

OP posts:
Olderbyaminute · 22/10/2018 14:34

I think you’re a great mother and you have your priorities right! It really irks me that men can act upset about a pregnancy too late into gestation when they had every opportunity to speak up. Best of luck

Original poster
BigfluffybearBum · 22/10/2018 14:53

Thanks. It doesn't feel great to have another baby with no dad on the scene. Maybe I deserve it or something Angry

OP posts:
iris81 · 22/10/2018 15:11

What did he say about the baby when you were together on Friday? When did you find out you were pregnant?
How upsetting that he's behaving like this xx

Olderbyaminute · 22/10/2018 15:19

OP you don’t deserve to be abandoned while pregnant with no explanation-nobody does. Your bf is a spineless coward.

Unsuitablelake · 22/10/2018 15:33

Sending you lots of hugs. He is an asshole. You sound very sweet. Lots of "men" dont grow up and never will be ready for kids. My father had 16 kids with 16 different partners. He hasnt been in any of his kids lifes. You are strong and your kids are lucky to have a mum like you. Dont text him. Lets see how long does it takes for him to remember that you exist. But i dont even know what can he possibly say to you now after ignoring you for so long to make it better

Original poster
BigfluffybearBum · 22/10/2018 20:00

I feel like crap tonight. I'm thinking maybe this is karma? I don't even know who my Ds dad is and i had an affair with a married man when I was younger. I'm a shit person really. No wonder he doesn't want to be with me

OP posts:
spacefighter · 22/10/2018 20:03

Oh hunny please don't think that about yourself. This is about your partner and nothing to do with you. Your a great strong mum and will be again to your baby. Do you have a good support network around you?

Original poster
BigfluffybearBum · 22/10/2018 20:12

I have good family around me but I'm conscious they've got their own lives. My friend who lives abroad is visiting this week so I'll see him aswell. I don't want to tell people I've been dumped

OP posts:
FurryAndObnoxious · 22/10/2018 21:16

Can you support you all financially? Would you contact any of his friends or family to ask where he Is? He sounds truly crap

meggriffinn · 22/10/2018 21:19

This reply has been deleted

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tinytemper66 · 22/10/2018 21:21

What red flags 🚩?

Original poster
BigfluffybearBum · 23/10/2018 14:01

report it then Meg.
He texted me this morning 'sorry I'm finding it hard to get my head around being a dad. I thought we were a bit of fun and I really like you but I didn't expect you to get pregnant' Wtf

OP posts:
iris81 · 23/10/2018 17:40

Aw no @BigfluffybearBum I'm sorry he's being negative. What do you think you'll do??

Original poster
BigfluffybearBum · 23/10/2018 18:17

Well I haven't responded because I've been in work all day. I don't know what I'm going to do. It's nice to think I'm just a bit of fun and he really doesn't want me to be pregnant Blush . At this moment in time I've resolved to go it alone I guess

OP posts:
C0untDucku1a · 23/10/2018 18:39

Why did he not expect you to get pregnant? How did you get pregnant? What failed? Is he questioning how it happened?

Just give him plenty of space. You're stronger alone that with someone who isn't interested. But, again, the baby gets YOUR surname. Make no compromise there.

Dontgiveamonkeys1350 · 23/10/2018 18:51

Every time u have sex there is always a chance u can get pregnant. If ur not prepared for that end result. Don’t have sex. To be honest it does sound like u have dodged a bullet with him. Nothing serious then why was he moving in.

He changed his mind and just left. You will be better on your own to be honest. You have done it once. Your are aware of what is coming. I’m betting you will be just perfectly amazing.

Notacluewhatthisis · 23/10/2018 19:00

Struggling to get his head round it is fine.

Him deciding your relationship was a bit of fun, without telling you that, is not fine.

Disappearing for days, is not fine. Shutting down and not working through his feelings is not fine.

He has texted that because you haven't chased him. He is a massive bell end.

mouthkisses · 23/10/2018 19:33

The text is something you might send to a fling who is 5 weeks pregnant. Not a partner of two years who is 25 weeks pregnant. He seems like Hard Work OP. Whatever happens, put yourself first. Your kids will be fine as long as their mum is happy. Xx

Crunchymum · 23/10/2018 19:36

What a cheeky fucker.

Why wait until now? You are more than half way through your pregnancy.

Jeez.