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Original poster

I am thinking to tell his wife...

153 replies

Anon31483 · 18/10/2018 15:22

Hi all

i was dating a guy who when we met told me he is single two years. I then found out some stuff on twitter and then when i confronted him he told me he is separated and we had a huge argument but he wanted to make up insisting he is separated and thats a thing of the past. Then i found out the truth that he is fully married.

Needless to say, i was mad and i confronted him calling him names and he then finally admitted they had problems. After that i found out he lied to me about other stuff as well like he had given me false zodiac sign and about health issues to to try and get sympathy from me to make up.

This happened on July and since then we dont talk. I am thinking to tell his wife because what happened to me was very unfair. I had just broken up from a relationship when i met him and he told me he was also looking for relationship. I had no idea he had a leverage to turn to, as I had none and he could easily go back to his wife whilst i had nothing. Thats very unfair in my opinion and has been eating me up this period of time

What is more in twitter I had found out a post from 1 month before we met, that his unborn child that will come on September and when i confronted him he said that this was a joke between his cousin and him because they are close and there is no child on the way.

I feel like it was unfair and it has been eating me up because i feel like i was left without anything whilst he had his safety net all along.

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 18/10/2018 15:24

It's much more unfair to his poor wife and child than it is to you.

SleepWarrior · 18/10/2018 15:26

If you were doing it to give her a heads up about being with a cheating scumbag and getting an STD check then I'd say go for it but be kind and prepared to not be believed (so give screenshots etc as evidence).

But you sound all about how unfair it is for you and full of vengeance. Just delete/block the guy and move on. He's a scumbag. Be glad you aren't the one married to him.

Original poster
Anon31483 · 18/10/2018 15:27

sorry i dont know what was going on and even if he really had a child on the way but i feel unscrupulously duped.

I have to think of myself and my feelings. The only thing is that i dont want any impact on me a way to tell her anonymously maybe

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon31483 · 18/10/2018 15:29

of course it is massively unfair to me . its not fair that i had nothing to go back to whilst he had leverage

OP posts:
Bombardier25966 · 18/10/2018 15:30

I have to think of myself and my feelings. The only thing is that i dont want any impact on me a way to tell her anonymously maybe

And the feelings of the wife?

Is this for real?

Original poster
Anon31483 · 18/10/2018 15:32

Do you find it fair that i had no leverage whilst i didnt have anything as a back up????

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon31483 · 18/10/2018 15:33

sorry that he* had leverage whilst i didnt have anything as a back up

OP posts:
sadnessin · 18/10/2018 15:34

..... hold up. You seem v focused on a back up. So if u had known you would've carried on BUT made sure you had a back up guy waiting around?

It may seem u fair on you but imagine being married to it. And pregnant. Now THAT is unfair.

Bombardier25966 · 18/10/2018 15:34

The way he treated you was unfair. That makes him an arsehole. That doesn't give you the right to cause hurt to others. To do so would make you an arsehole too.

Find a way to work through your feelings without bringing others into it.

Caselgarcia · 18/10/2018 15:34

I'm not sure what you mean by leverage, are you more annoyed about being single again whilst he is still in a duplicitous marriage? I would personally move on and forget him.

Spankyoumuchly · 18/10/2018 15:35

I'd want to know. It's probably not just you he's cheating with. Everyone should get an std check.

NellaBonella · 18/10/2018 15:36

What are you talking about leverage and back ups for? You sound deranged. Just delete and move on with your life

Original poster
Anon31483 · 18/10/2018 15:36

No i would not have carried on should i have known anyway. But as i explained i was freshly broken up and he sold me this whole story till i found out, while in fact he had back up all along. The whole setup was extremely unfair to me. Noone has done anything like that to me before.

OP posts:
LegoPiecesEverywhere · 18/10/2018 15:37

Just block him, don’t look at his Facebook and do not contact his wife. Of course everyone will know it is you if you do

OhHelloNewbie · 18/10/2018 15:37

Oh my god! I understand you are hurt but wow. You sound incredibly self centred. His wife deserves to know but your motives are way off.

Trinity66 · 18/10/2018 15:37

What do you mean he had back up?

Azadewow · 18/10/2018 15:37

Jeez u really come across as a selfish b*h... It's all "mememememe"... U don't even sound annoyed about the fact he has a wife, it's more the fact that he had a backup and u didn't that bothers u... Sounds like u would happily do the same as he did if u had the opportunity...

Even with best intentions, it would be hard to get her to believe u. Under the motivation u have, u will definitely come across as a spiteful selfish woman, since u are just that...

Original poster
Anon31483 · 18/10/2018 15:37

Really??? I hope one day you will be in my shoes to see how sweet this feels

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon31483 · 18/10/2018 15:39

Yes I am a sel;fish bitch. Is there a problem?? I find this unfair to me and I want justice.

OP posts:
SummerGems · 18/10/2018 15:40

No what’s unfair is that his pregnant wife was oblivious while he was shagging another woman.

What’s unfair is that he could potentially have exposed her and his unborn child to sexually transmitted diseases.

What’s also unfair is that you want to tell her not because you feel she has a right to know what kind of arsehole she’s married to but because you feel that you are the one who has been wronged.

Yes it’s horrible that you were in a relationship with someone who turned out to be married, however once you found out that information the reaction should be to cut your losses and walk away, not complain about how he had a wife to go home to while you had no-one.

Tahani · 18/10/2018 15:41

He's a shit, but the best thing you can do is back away, block block and block again

walk away - keep some dignity

Bombardier25966 · 18/10/2018 15:41

Your justice will be getting on with your life and forgetting about him.

Do you think you're the first person that has been lied to by their partner?

MrsGrindah · 18/10/2018 15:42

I can’t get over the fact that you are incensed he lied to you about his star sign...

SummerGems · 18/10/2018 15:42

It’s not hard to see where the deranged OW stereotype comes from when you read threads like this one..... Grin

Sounds like the man had a lucky escape even if he is an arsehole.

Justkeeprollingalong · 18/10/2018 15:42

You sound worse than him.

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