LMD - moving on from abusive parents pt2

[Littlemissdemeanour]

As the old thread is filling up,

Link to old thread: Abusive parents- I phoned the police. Now what?www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3366847-Abusive-parents-I-phoned-the-police-Now-what

Happy Friday all (although it doesn't feel it, PMA!)

@justilou1 you've been such a huge support to me, thank you- and great to know you're a clicky link away at all hours 

Re: work situation. Still a shit show. Still no update.

Re: me generally. As above; not ideal. Been feeling really low, and struggling. Today not been good, so far. Haven't moved from bed. Counsellor said get out there, join a class (I've done that and start next week).

Re parents; I had a pic from M last night. Yes, you read that right; a pic of her and caption 'in case you've forgotten what I look like'. I find it both creepy and sinister.

In the hours leading up to this, I had a message from uncle (GP) asking about how I am, and work update, AND aunt (GP) saying it's been ages since they heard from me (etc). Followed by FIVE missed calls from aunt.

Now, I'm not daft, they're clearly all in comms. But wtf wtf all round.

Counsellor says it's down to me how I wish to engage from here on in, but gasped when I read out messages, yes gasped!!!

For avoidance of doubt, I've had no contact with anyone for a week now, sigh.

Dreading the weekend ahead with no plans and loneliness creeping in. If anyone is around and wants coffee 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😭

As long as there is also !

Deal @Aprilislonggone

Good god your family are bat shit crazy. They clearly have no conscience of what they have done and the implications of the effect their actions have had against you.

I'm guessing that perhaps in their minds eye, that because you haven't reported them to the police then everything is tickety boo and you'll go running back to the family fold? That or their comprehension of what is right and what is wrong regarding abuse is so far screwed their none the wiser.

Just shows how zero regard they have for you as they've just ignored your 'please don't contact me' message and continued to harass you.

If you were closer I'd love to have coffee with you. But virtual & will have to do.

We are here! don't be lonely.
What actual planet does your mother live on?
Seriously, the minimising is unbelievable.
Continue to ignore them all.
What class are you starting? I'd quite like to do an evening class or something too.

littlemiss, you're in kinda deep shock here. You're allowed to rest in bed when you are able to and it might do some good. Safe haven.

Other than that - if you can, eat well and exercise. Not too much wine, however damn tempting it is. It's boring old advice but I can't say how much it actually helps. Being physically in reasonable good shape influences the brain positively and helps keep you going.

The advice to get a new phone and give the number out to everyone else, keeping the old phone just for 'family' is still good advice. As is the idea to change their name on the old phone to something less complimentary than 'Mum' and 'Dad'.

Really glad you read the messages to the counsellor; they're right that any decisions are down to you, but I still think that was a good idea, as is joining the class ... yet again, brilliantly well done

The crazy messages from your "mother" and GPs were sadly predictable, but I especially dislike that they're so obviously colluding on this. Unpleasant as it is, though, that's a matter for their own consciences or what passes for them, and no doubt they'll find some deluded church members to pat their hands over it all

Nothing wrong with a lazy day in your own safe space, but on a positive note you're seeing friends again, starting a new interest and wisely holding firm against the horrors ... all sounds like progress to me

Thanks all. I'm just so angry at the minimisation !!!!

I've had a further call from GP and text from cousin.

I mean, really???? Are they only now getting the memo I'm SERIOUS

Aww little miss.

I took my little one to her mum's for the week, I'm feeling lonely already, count me I for a coffee if you're anywhere near 'The North'. Lol.

Keep yourself busy, if the weather's nice, plan a day out somewhere you e never been. Or wander to the train station and get the next train that's puling in no matter where it's going.

Sorry littlemiss but i actually lol when i read about the picture. It is exactly what my mother would do, to the letter.
Only you can decide what to do but we are all here for you
Stay strong

I'm thinking about you, Littlemissdemeanour, and lots of other people are too. I check your thread for updates at least twice a day, often more. I'm not surprised your counsellor gasped at the message. I did too. I read it out to my DPs, who were horrified.

Thanks and to all who have been here, and continue to be so!

Had another message 'can we talk' from F, and a message from a cousin I haven't talked to in years. I like him, but FFS.

NOW everyone's worried?? BS

I hope everyone is having a lovely Friday night x

I hope everyone is having a lovely Friday night x

I'm watching Corrie ... So... Not really. Lok

Hope you are doing something to take care of yourself. Nice bath, cinema, good book..whatever. mentally 'take the weekend off ' from all the bs.

...and a message from a cousin I haven't talked to in years. I like him, but FFS.

And here come the flying monkeys!

The flying monkeys are out in force.

How are you doing today @Littlemissdemeanour hope you got some sleep last night. You're doing great 

Ugh! I am so angry for you as well!!! I wish I had a magic baseball bat that could smash those messages before they pinged your phone!!!
They know you’re serious, sweetie. They’re just acting like a toddler around a pitbull. Poking it in the eyeball until it snaps and then when it snaps and has to be destroyed, they get to play victim again.
Please don’t bite.
Big hugs!!!

Desperately trying to reel you back and get you under control again.

I bet they’ve told everyone what a drama queen you are and how you’ve blown it all out of proportion and it wasn’t as bad as you make out.

Stand firm, don’t reply. Take the upper hand and let them squirm in their own ignorant stupidity

LMD I followed your initial thread but didn't post.

You are doing so well. Some people never feel able to break away from the abuse.

I've been NC with my mum for about 3 years. They have been the most stress free years of my entire life.

Recently she sent out flying monkeys and I ended up having to change my phone number (some of her bullshit was to call the police and send them to my last known address - luckily I had moved home last year)

One of my cousins contacted me via FB and I had an honest conversation with her. She won't engage in any further harassment. I've blocked the cousins who will just feed the drama.

So assess carefuly any relative or friend who professes to have your back.

Afternoon

Thanks to everyone that's still here..!

It's just so disappointing. It's wanting to believe in the good in everyone that's reaching out, and then resisting as I know I'll only end up as upset again as I was 8 days ago.

Today I've managed to shower etc and must leave home to get food in (lol), but I feel like death. Just feel so faint, so here I am with tea and sugar trying to gee myself up.

This has been such a long road- 5 weeks today.

A long road but the right road. Keep going! One step at a time. Do an online shop. Be kind to yourself. Only go out if you want to. You are doing so well.

Just had a coffee op - and several Jaffa Cakes diet starts tomorrow as usual.
As an unofficial 'orphan', as time goes by the benefits of being stress free do poke through. It's cold turkey right now, head a mess, life barely organised. Plan yourself a few diy /home projects to start, aim to finish by Christmas, have a quiet one and 2019 can be the year you take back control of your life a stronger you.
I am far down the line and never give dps a second thought.

This has been such a long road- 5 weeks today.

Yes, a long road. But remember that time does pass and before you realize it, it will be 5 months. And in that time you will have gathered strength and built yourself a new and happier life, with new friends and new interests. And then it will be 5 years and you will be such a different person, perhaps with a lovely partner and a family of your own.

stay strong OP.. block everyone who tries to manipulate you... close the door firmly