LMD - moving on from abusive parents pt2

[Littlemissdemeanour]

As the old thread is filling up,

Link to old thread: Abusive parents- I phoned the police. Now what?www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3366847-Abusive-parents-I-phoned-the-police-Now-what

I wish I had checked my phone op, I was awake with a vomiting 4yo at 12.35 am.
Somebody mentioned an M&S carrot cheesecake the other day. Big step up from a strawberry tart imo!

Hi Sweetie! Sorry I missed you. I’m sorry you haven’t been sleeping. I haven’t either, and it doesn’t help with my motivation or my decision making.
Today I did a lot of driving. I mentioned that I have moved back to my “home town.” It feels soooo weird. I haven’t lived here for nearly twenty years, and when I did live here last I was traveling away for work for nine or ten months at a time anyway. Needless to say, despite the fact that the few places I remember are virtually unrecognizable, I don’t love this town. It’s so weird, since my logical brain is telling me that it should feel like whole new city. I’m going to the GP next week and asking for a referral to a counsellor as I am not sleeping too. I am also terrified that I will either run into my brother or someone will tell him that I am here. Suspect this is a major source of anxiety and contributing to current insomnia issues, tbh....
Now as for you, Missy.... What can we tackle to inject one or two moments of happiness into your week? I’m worried that you have so much happening at once... Are your friends checking in on you?
J

So glad all is peaceful but I'm blaming you over the strawberry tarts ... I've just had to make some!!

Now I want strawberry everything....

Hope you're okay, Littlemiss - and good luck for the counselling tomorrow

Hello all, strawberry mania is upon us! My fault, my bad 

Big day tomorrow; work meeting AND counsellor. Feeling pretty anxious about the former... let's hope this grievance and pain has been worth it and one area of my life is tied up (!)

@justilou1 sorry you're struggling with the memories and 'the fear'. How are you feeling about it now, a couple of days in?

I hope that the new memories your family and you will make will go somewhat to easing the painful past 

Hope the work thingy goes well, take tarts with you. If they deserve them, let them take one, if they don't... Send them to me.. 😝

I'll be thinking of you later today x

Thinking of you today @Littlemissdemeanour hope it goes ok 💐

Sorry if I am sounding melodramatic, Littlemiss... (or self-indulgent.) I am just hyper-vigilant about not repeating patterns and don’t want anything to affect my kids!!! I live my days normally and interact with them as they have become accustomed to, but I don’t sleep as I am processing my own crap (when it’s safe, I guess...). I’m okay, really. It’s so long ago, I guess my logical brain and my emotional brain are quite polarised. That’s one way of coping! (But it does make one rather tired!!!) I have sleeping pills and will take one on Friday night as I don’t have to play taxi driver on saturday morning. I genuinely do follow the advice of self-care whenever possible, as am unable to carry the can for everyone else if I crumble!

Btw - any evidence of weight beginning to lift at all from your shoulders, Honey? I know it’s early days. I also know how painful the realization is. X

good luck today LMD.

Good luck today, L.

Good luck!

Good luck!

Hi

Not good. He found no real foundness in claims, other than 'management intervention'. Tokenism !

oh hell sorry to hear it :( Does this mean things will go on as they are? :(

Oh, I'm sorry. What are the implications for you?

Aaaah! Crap about the job situation, Littlemiss! What does that mean?!?! This sounds gruesome for you!!!

Hey how are you doing?

I may have missed the bit about a grievance at work - but what is it related to and the consequences

It means that they found some grounds in the line managers management (or lack thereof). And they'll deal with by way of 'management intervention'. What that actually means is token attendance by senior senior management at our team meetings, along with HR. But of course, only for a period of time.

I was told my bullying and harassment claims were found to be unfounded as he believed they were 'not with ill intent'. I pushed back and said, you know, I could accept that if it was one, or even two incidences. But why so many, and why just me? Bullying , that's why.

He then said he would reconsider and meet again next week. Weak man. Felt like I fought for my life.

So four months, no further forward. I also told him this outcome makes me question the integrity of the investigation- lol

Well, I for one happen to be very proud of you for pushing back like that. When you have been trained to accept belong bullied by your parents, you become a target for bullies later on. They can sense you like a shark can smell blood in the water. You were very brave to stand up and say that this was intolerable. You are amazing!!!

Thanks @justilou1 how are you doing the more time wares on back in the old town? Things settling for you?

Google "shark cage" wrt abuse. It's eye opening.