LMD - moving on from abusive parents pt2

[Littlemissdemeanour]

As the old thread is filling up,

Link to old thread: Abusive parents- I phoned the police. Now what?www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3366847-Abusive-parents-I-phoned-the-police-Now-what

thanks. No takers so far.. lol

He is a cheeky fecker. Think you dodged a bullet there tbh. Social media makes it all too easy to sleaze about these days unfortunately. Best to keep as much private as possible.

LMD you are awesome, you are one tough cookie! And you inspire great loyalty in your friends too

Thanks... I'm still a bit traumatised after this mornings learnings. Should NOT have been so foolish !

You can stop that. :)
You weren't fooish.
Remember:
You are not responsible for other peoples actions.
You don't have future vision to see what would happen.

LMD you had a really nice time for a few days, then you drew it to a close. I think you did fine and there's no reason not to enjoy the memories!

You were smart, LMD / you saw him for what he was BEFORE he was ready for you to see him as anything other than glorious, and you dumped his cheap and nasty Arse!!!! In what way was that foolish?

I think I just feel a numpty for being sucked in / inviting him to my home.

OMG that email to my friend. Crazy! Enough to put you off dating for life!!

You have hit him right where it hurts, LMD - in the ego. He is trying to revenge date. The man is a complete grub. I am so pleased that your friend is as smart as you are, and isn’t falling for his (not even very enthusiastic) flattery.

I think I just feel a numpty for being sucked in / inviting him to my home.

Stop blaming yourself!

You had a great time and you still kept your eyes open despite loving the time you had together.

You did well. Idiots don't always come with a big red neon sign over their head. You enjoyed yourself and then when you perceived some things you didn't like and the bad began to outweigh the good you finished it in a civilized fashion. You did great.

Take it for what it was, enjoy the interlude! and please, do stop beating yoruself up. That's been the job of your parents in the past, time for everyone to stop it, including yourself.

Totally agree about no need to beat yourself up any more ... even if you'd got thoroughly sucked in by this guy it wouldn't have been your fault, but as it was you saw the light pretty fast and acted on it wisely

All that said, I know it's a hard habit to break when you've been so thoroughly conditioned for so long, but the important thing is that you're getting there

BTW I hope you've had no further upsetting contact from your ghastly parents or sundry flying monkeys ... ?

Thanks all, I think it just compounded everything.

That said, I do feel like I was able to call it a lot quicker than I would have ordinarily, and before all the help on here/ counselling. And I did that with a decorum of dignity, which I would have found harder before.

I think I was just fizzing / humiliated he reached out to my friend. Even though I thought all the strong words he said were a bit much, it did feel nice to thing I was worthy, and he did mean them.

Hey ho.

Work grievance concluded boss didn't bully me (BS) and I believe contestants, but serious failings in the management and therefore they're (senior management) are going to intervene.

Now the decision to appeal looms. My gut is telling me to do it. Partly as there are so many technicalities / errors they made, I believe there's a case that the investigation was not thoroughly conducted. Etc.

Does feel like it's never ending!

with work, could you leave and claim.constructive dismissal?
find a job more worthy of hiring you?

Absolutely! That's the plan... when I get another job! Making applications ... but it's really hard in my field.

Good luck on the job hunt. What kind of thing do you do?

How is the situation with your parents? Are they still doing the ‘ do you know what we look like’ act, or have they finally backed off?

LMD is a superhero. Marvel isn't hiring now Stan Lee has very rudely passed on.

Good luck with job hunt, all else fails, head to Yorkshire, I'll put you up. Lol.

How are you doing LMD?

Maybe you don't want to say, but have your parents kept up the barrage of sms's?

Yes, I've been wondering how you are, @Littlemissdemeanour. How's it all going?

Hi all

Sorry I stepped away as I was feeling a little overwhelmed by everything. Work is awful - still. Outcome of grievance; won half, lost half. Been trying to get back to work, but they won't clarify arrangements. Had to expand line again- and MUST go back in a couple of weeks before half pay kicks in. Arrangements still uncertain. Very upsetting.

In other news, I've opportunity next week- job interview!!! I would love it, and need it (lol). But I have clearly not performed well at the last 3 interviews- didn't get them... so not counting chickens.

That said, if i did get it I'm busy calculating leave and hoping I'd have to return for the most minimum period only.

One can dream! Oh and bought a very expensive suit as obv it was the suits fault I didn't succeed before 😂

fingers crossed LMD!

Thanks @SeaEagleFeather I'm going to give them hell!!!!!!

Go for the interview and kick ass. Maybe try something like rescue remedy beforehand if you get a little anxious in interviews

Good to hear from you, Littlemissdemeanour, and good luck with the interview.

Assume your DPs have gone silent, though I'm surprised they've given up so easily. Good news for you.

Hi LMD - I've been lying low for a bit. It's crazy here in Australia. Despite the weather, we take Christmas ridiculously seriously and we have our summer holidays and sooooooo much pressure!!! The kids are winding up their school year, etc, and the younger two are finishing primary so lots of changes ahead.

I've been thinking of you and wondering how you're dealing with it all. Personally, I come over all stabby and need to grit my teeth whenever I walk into a shop playing that bloody Mariah Carey song, and it has been relentlessly hot and humid - which does not exactly inspire one to hang up fairy lights and drink eggnog. (Ew!) While the shopping centres are air-conditioned (AMEN!!!), deodorant is not yet a legal requirement. When I take over the world, Trump-style - that will be my first law. September to April, anti-perspirant deodorant must be worn by every citizen with working sweat glands aged between ten and one hundred, and none of that ineffective, natural shit will be tolerated, thank you very much. No rocks waved under your armpits are gonna be acceptable under my administration - EVER!!!!

Diatribe over.
(I have just returned from the Stinkermarket.)
Good luck with your interview. I hope your answers are as sharp as your new suit!