LMD - moving on from abusive parents pt2

[Littlemissdemeanour]

As the old thread is filling up,

Link to old thread: Abusive parents- I phoned the police. Now what?www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3366847-Abusive-parents-I-phoned-the-police-Now-what

It just seemed a very Scottish way, that's all!

Well, I don't know so much about Yorkshire, but it is a cliche I'm drinking the tea? Like, right now?!

Yorkshire tea is the best tea though to be fair. I only hope you have a biscuit too.. ;)

Good luck with work. Keep busy, you are doing everything you can.
It's been blustery and rainy here but still enjoyed a walk round the loch.
Get out everyday, i find it really helps.

Have concluded that men have very special ears that are not tuned into listening frequency - unless it is something they actually want to hear. Have emailed him that I am miserable and that as he is unwilling and unable to see this, it is time for counselling.

Will see if that works. Sigh.
Anyhow.... Even the best marriages take work. It takes two to row in the same direction. I'm not prepared to continue flailing about aimlessly with no quality of life, while he is happy as a duck doing his own thing.
I hope that your email prods HR into activity!!!

Good evening

@justilou1 hoping your email has been well received - thinking of you

Today has been one of those days - promising myself tomorrow will be better.... and hopefully bring good news.

At least better than this time last week, and me actor Jekyll and Hyde!

the actor had been a good distraction from your family, i dont think you will be as much affected by their messages.

Tomorrow will be better LMD, if you make it so.

Do something just for you, even something small, even just a walk to a cafe for a coffee and a crappy sensationist magazine for an hour.

Personally.. I recommend Morrisons.. they're doing a new big fried breakfast.. 😝

You're doing all the right things. As PP have said, do little things to cheer yourself up. Buy a book or flowers. Go for a walk (although it's tipping it down here).

But don't overeat or turn to booze - those are false friends. Not that I get the impression you'd do that. You're far too sensible.

How has your week begun, LMD? I have been terribly proactive and I suspect when he finds out he may accuse me of having a mid-life crisis, but the amount of fucks I give are nil. I have signed up at the local swimming pool. (I don’t exactly love swimming, but I loathe the gym more - and with temperatures getting hotter, it’s the lesser of two evils. It’s part of my self-prescribed mental health plan.) I am sitting the adult entry university test at the end of the month. That has been another thing that was sidelined several times along the way to support him. Not this time. (Now I need to work out what I want to be when I grow up - at 46!!!) AND - I got my ears pierced today!

LMD I have just read both your threads - you are bloody AMAZING!

You have behaved with such grace and dignity and have quietly and firmly stood up for yourself to your awful parents, misguided family members and the odd weirdly persistent bossy MN poster.

I read about the actor/model love interest with trepidation as I know how easy it is to get sucked in when you are vulnerable, I nearly bloody cheered out loud when you took stock, realised he wasn't worthy and calmly waved him off! I'm 3 years NC with my own awful parents and one brilliant side effect is how easy it is now to recognise when I'm in a negative friendship/relationship and how easy it is to let toxic people go.

All the best for your future, it's looking very bright

(P.S. DYING to know who the actor is )

Good evening all!

@KlutzyDraconequus omg I need that now! Back from flowers class and starving (despite making an early supper before!)

@Prawnofthepatriarchy thank you for the continued positive words. I'm on the water and resisting bad snacks at 10pm! Waiting to hear whether counselling will be continued (been re-referred to OH for additional free to me sessions, so fingers crossed)

@justilou1 wow - that's amazing! Go you? What course are you wanting to pursue? Swimming sounds great too, take my head off to you I can't be arsed washing my long hair/ shaving legs, lol

@jadfiewahnds thank you for reading and supportive words- quite the journey.

Quick update from work: had a snide email from my 'support' Officer (note not senior investigating officer) in response to my request for HR contact to formally complain. He advised it was the relevant senior director as per the policy (and not HR). I was quick to point out that the policy only covered in the event of appeals; this isn't an appeal as after even three long months, no outcome is known!

Therefore I'm looking for the appropriate contact in HR to escalate a complaint about the complaints procedure - and protracted length / lack of comms! FFS!

Urgh who are these people you work for, they sound like a right lazy bunch of muppets. Are you able to go into work and speak directly with HR?

Are you learning flower arranging in flower class? I so wanted to do a Christmas Wreath workshop this year but they don't accept children on it despite them stating - open to all. (I'm not a child, I have a child)

I just love how their job titles are so bloody ironic... “Support” Officer.... “Human” Resources.... so far removed from what they actually do. Your support officer is actually doing their best to isolate, humiliate and intimidate you, and your HR department isn’t remotely available at all!

That's not very well censored LMD.
Might want to ask MN to remove it. I can see phone number, photo of guy and his name.

But he is a sucky person so if you leave it and mnetters text him crap, that's his problem. Lol.

Whoops !!! I thought I'd censored . What an ass though.

Asked to remove

@KlutzyDraconequus thanks for pointing out. Can you believe he did that?!

At times like this I tend to remind myself that HR used to always be called Personnel. Staff used to be persons bad English I know but now they're just resources. Helps me whenever they fail to help out

Hope you're doing well despite work being crappy.

I'll post what the actor send my friend

'Morning

Don't want to get personal on here, but here's my what's app.

I know things didn't work out with LMD and myself, guess we wanted different things, but I may have something organised to interest you.

Hope to hear from you.

Actor asshole x

Ps... happy to keep it between us and private of course'

I'll tell you a little 'Man' secret, that isn't really a secret at all lol.

This is what guys do.. any guy that's seen as being a 'success' with women isn't because he's more charming, witty, attractive etc than other guys, it's just he approaches every woman possible.

Facebook, LinkedIn, twitter etc
Add a guy on any of those and I can guarantee that 90% of them will be trawling your friends and contacts and a good amount of them will be friend requesting or following your attractive mates in no time at all. Some guys are even proud of this and will share photos of their dates friends and boast that they've messaged them etc.

It's a numbers game for most guys, ask 100 women and 1 says yes, that's a win in their play books. Lol.

@KlutzyDraconequus I think it's sooo tacky that he would do this. Just proves my point with him. So full of it.

I may have screenshot it back to him with the comment 'what.an.embarrassment' then duly blocked him lol.

I had to let him know I knew and my friends are my friends, and they'll be the FIRST to tell me. What a rat!!!

Ps @KlutzyDraconequus hope you don't do that 😂

No i don't.. I have no social media to trawl through. Lol. But I wouldn't if I did.

I don't want to ask 100 girls out to get rejected, I want to find the one that wants to be the only one.

P.s.

I'm glad you sent it back to him. I'm glad your friend sent it you. I bet he, as an actor, thinks he's god's gift. Lol

@KlutzyDraconequus well she would be a truly lucky lady

I don't do social media either. Can't get over the brass neck of it all!