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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

In laws haven’t yet congratulated us..

165 replies

Mumtobe99 · 10/10/2018 21:51

So I’ve been living with my in-laws for nearly 2 years now! ( frustrating) I never planned to have a baby until we moved out but it happened and we’re very happy!!
My MIL used to say “oh why don’t you guys have a baby?” And I used to say I’m waiting to have my own house first etc etc ..

But now I am pregnant she hasn’t mentioned anything at all to her son or me as if they want to just ignore it??
His dad didn’t even beleive us we told him he thought we were lying (wow)
Everyone is so happy for us apart from them.

I know they never liked me and our relationship isint that great but at the end of the day it’s your first grandchild ?
I don’t know if they’re jealous or ..
I know they hate me because of the attention my husband gives to me and he backs me up against them if they’re talking behind my back ... ( they’re old fashioned)
I’ve literally been bullied by all of them in this house I’ve been through so much.
They also don’t like me because I’m not their “typical bride” that’s what she told my mum!

I honestly don’t know how I’m going to live in this house with this baby it’s going to be tough but until we move out!!

OP posts:
SillySallySingsSongs · 10/10/2018 21:53

But now I am pregnant she hasn’t mentioned anything at all to her son or me as if they want to just ignore it??

Maybe they are worried about you all living there.

When are you moving out.

Whereartthouname · 10/10/2018 21:54

I had 3 kids to my ex and they never congratulated me. Rolled thier eyes and told me to get an abortion a few times but not even so much as a hug. They love thier grandkids regardless now but it still stings. They are half the reason i slpit.

WeeBeasties · 10/10/2018 21:56

You've not just told them you're having a baby, you've told them you're having a baby that's going to live in their house and drastically change their daily lives. Can you not see why they might not be happy about that?

PaintingOwls · 10/10/2018 21:56

Are you 18?

Aprilislonggone · 10/10/2018 21:56

Omg now she KNOWS you have had sex under her roof!!
Grin

Mumtobe99 · 10/10/2018 21:57

His dad doesn’t want us there for sure but we can’t afford to move anywhere else, we’re on the waiting list for a council house atm, I should be moved up a band after baby arrives hopefully!

OP posts:
Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 10/10/2018 21:58

We're expecting our second and MIL
Has congratulated oh and our DD and said nothing to me.

I wouldn't think about it. Just enjoy this next chapter.

Mumstheword1987 · 10/10/2018 21:58

My in-laws was like this with our second baby

Mumtobe99 · 10/10/2018 21:58

But the thing is they were the ones encouraging us to try for a baby even whilst we were living there they seemed like they would love the idea

OP posts:
Aprilislonggone · 10/10/2018 21:59

My mil said ah well mistakes happen!!
We are nc now!!

Diamondlight · 10/10/2018 21:59

Maybe they are not congratulating you because they are worried at the fact you are having a child under their roof, altering their lives without their consent. I think it's pretty unfair to be honest, and if you can't afford your own house, good luck affording a baby! Lol they just get more expensive as the months go by!

TomHardysNextWife · 10/10/2018 22:00

Good luck with getting moved up the housing ladder OP.

That trick worked about 30 years ago. No wonder they're not happy - you will be with them for years.

Hmm
Observatorycrest · 10/10/2018 22:03

well my outlaws said nothing to me but when my OH called them to inform them of my last pregnancy they said 'are you sure that's good news'..... they are not my parents and I really don't care, My OH deals with them... the difficulty you have is your living in there house and now you are pregnant they are also going to have a baby in the house too. As much as I am sure when I become a grandmother I will be delighted I wouldn't want them living in my house.

Ellisandra · 10/10/2018 22:07

I’d be pretty pissed off if I was housing you because you couldn’t afford to house yourselves - and then you decided to have a baby.Hmm

Your father in law doesn’t want you there - how much do you think he wants a baby there?

Ellisandra · 10/10/2018 22:09

Maybe they were only encouraging you because they thought if you made the decision to start a family, you’d also make the decision to move out?
Two YEARS they’ve had you there!

TrippingTheVelvet · 10/10/2018 22:09

I wouldn't be impressed if I was your in-laws tbh...

SillySallySingsSongs · 10/10/2018 22:10

I’d be pretty pissed off if I was housing you because you couldn’t afford to house yourselves - and then you decided to have a baby

Yes there his probably an element of that.

SillySallySingsSongs · 10/10/2018 22:11

His dad doesn’t want us there for sure but we can’t afford to move anywhere else, we’re on the waiting list for a council house atm, I should be moved up a band after baby arrives hopefully!

Hmm
GreenDinosaur · 10/10/2018 22:12

Sorry to be harsh but I agree with PP's I'd like to be a Grandmother one day but I sure as hell don't fancy the idea of my son and his wife having a baby in my house! Confused
They may have mentioned you having a family to get you thinking about the future and moving on with your lives, it's unlikely they meant you to do it under their roof.

RosieCockle · 10/10/2018 22:16

Your relationship isn't that great with whom? Your partner or in-laws. You can't afford a place of your own yet but you're having a baby and are on a council waiting list. Great start. Why do I get the feeling you're very young?

letsgetreadytosamba · 10/10/2018 22:19
Hmm
PurpleDaisies · 10/10/2018 22:19

How come you’re still living there after two years?

PartAnd · 10/10/2018 22:23

.

PurpleDaisies · 10/10/2018 22:25

we’re on the waiting list for a council house atm, I should be moved up a band after baby arrives hopefully!

Hmm

What a heartwarming story.

Zigazagazoo · 10/10/2018 22:25

You can’t afford to house yourselves so you thought you’d throw a baby into the mix.
Hmm
I can see why your in laws aren’t particularly happy.