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Original poster

In laws haven’t yet congratulated us..

165 replies

Mumtobe99 · 10/10/2018 21:51

So I’ve been living with my in-laws for nearly 2 years now! ( frustrating) I never planned to have a baby until we moved out but it happened and we’re very happy!!
My MIL used to say “oh why don’t you guys have a baby?” And I used to say I’m waiting to have my own house first etc etc ..

But now I am pregnant she hasn’t mentioned anything at all to her son or me as if they want to just ignore it??
His dad didn’t even beleive us we told him he thought we were lying (wow)
Everyone is so happy for us apart from them.

I know they never liked me and our relationship isint that great but at the end of the day it’s your first grandchild ?
I don’t know if they’re jealous or ..
I know they hate me because of the attention my husband gives to me and he backs me up against them if they’re talking behind my back ... ( they’re old fashioned)
I’ve literally been bullied by all of them in this house I’ve been through so much.
They also don’t like me because I’m not their “typical bride” that’s what she told my mum!

I honestly don’t know how I’m going to live in this house with this baby it’s going to be tough but until we move out!!

OP posts:
PinkHeart5914 · 10/10/2018 22:27

I reckon they are just peeved they will soon have a screaming baby living in the house too.

Seriously they were never going to hang the bunting out given your housing situation......

dirtybadger · 10/10/2018 22:27

I'm assuming one or both of you don't work, or don't work full time, as you're unable to afford to rent somewhere....Do you think they may be annoyed at this aspect of it (subsiding your living- depending how much rent you both pay them)? Apologies if either of you has any barriers to work, not being critical but trying to think of reasons they may resent the pregnancy.

Wanting a grandchild or fancifully saying it is very different from having one live with you. If the house isn't overcrowded I wouldn't hold your breath on housing. Someone I know was living in a 3 bed with 5 others over 16 (including her parents), plus two under 13 and their own baby. Took them 9 months to be housed unfortunately. It's really tough.

Whereartthouname · 10/10/2018 22:27

Move out. It will be hell if u have a baby under thier roof

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 10/10/2018 22:30

I call bullshit, no one is that clueless that they could not see why your in-laws would not want to be in this situation. You have lived with them for 2 years and still are no closer to moving out, adding a baby into the mix is going to make that even less likely. Seriously how can someone be so naive and unworldly?

carly2803 · 10/10/2018 22:30

why cant you move out?? are you 16??

you both should be working full time - therefore be ableto move out....

SophieofShepherdsBush · 10/10/2018 22:32

Oh dearie me

HeddaGarbled · 10/10/2018 22:33

You owe them an enormous debt of gratitude for allowing you to live with them for two years. Especially as they don’t actually like you.

You and your partner need to move out. Perhaps you can sponge off one of these other people who are “so happy for you”. Or perhaps you can stand on your own four feet like proper adults.

Dollymixture22 · 10/10/2018 22:35

They are probably worried about the state of your relationship, the state of your finances and that they will have another person living with them soon.

Are you contributing to household bills?

It’s hardly a parents dream - where did you pan to live when you got married? Did one of you lose a job and your plans changed? Can you afford a baby?

Tbh Isi would not be best pleased in their position

Rebecca36 · 10/10/2018 22:35

For goodness sake, you don't need a council house, you can rent a flat privately. It doesn't have to be anything grand, just a place you can call home. Look on Rightmove and see what you can find.

I don't blame your in laws one bit for being apprehensive about a new baby in their home. They've done all that. Would be different if you were, for example, only going to be there for three months or so but you've been living with them two years and there's no place of your own on the horizon, plus baby on his or her way.

Both of you, get fingers out and find a place of your own.

civicxx · 10/10/2018 22:37

I would be mortified if someone was living with me for two years and couldnt manage to save some money to move out but then had a baby that i am now expected to house aswell!

llangennith · 10/10/2018 22:37

Move out and rent a flat. You sound very immature OP.

Howhot · 10/10/2018 22:39

You need to move out. I'm not surprised they're not happy.

letsgetreadytosamba · 10/10/2018 22:39

So you’re 19?

Powerless · 10/10/2018 22:40

You do sound INCREDIBLY immature OP. I'm guessing you're young.

Either way, if you get your MIL to write a letter explaining that you can't live there anymore, give it to the council and they will provide you with temporary accommodation. Ultimately you can't. A crying newborn & night feeds in a house where at least one of them doesn't want you there? Nope. Not going to work.

Original poster
Mumtobe99 · 10/10/2018 22:42

Why what’s wrong with being on the waiting list for a council property? Wouldn’t you if you couldn’t afford a place of your own?
Does everyone have to wait till they’re 30 and have lots of money to have a child ?
You don’t have to be well off.
Just as long as you can afford to have a roof over your head and feed your family.
Damn.

My MIL insisted we stay in her house until we save enough money to buy our own place and she said by then your baby would be a toddler etc etc
We wasn’t planning to live with them forever lol

OP posts:
dirtybadger · 10/10/2018 22:42

To be fair if OP was born in 1999 she might be 18 or 19. If he is same age and they were both in full time education until recently then that hasn't left much time for getting a FT job and saving. And there are plenty of young people who end up living with in laws or friends because they have difficult home lives. So giving benefit if the doubt, it may not be such a poor reflection. Although obviously now is very much not the time to be adding a baby to the mix Sad

Proofer · 10/10/2018 22:44

Just as long as you can afford to have a roof over your head and feed your family.
Damn.

This is though OP, you can't. You're 18/19 years old living with your partner's parents. You sound very young to be having a baby and your in laws probably know that.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 10/10/2018 22:44

Wouldn’t you if you couldn’t afford a place of your own?

Well unless you are not working I fail to see how you cannot afford to go and rent a property after 2 years of living in someone elses home.
MOST people will not be able to afford to buy a house, rent one like the majority of the population.

Proofer · 10/10/2018 22:44

Thing is*

PurpleDaisies · 10/10/2018 22:44

Just as long as you can afford to have a roof over your head and feed your family.

You can’t afford a roof over your head.

dirtybadger · 10/10/2018 22:44

Cross posted.

Original poster
Mumtobe99 · 10/10/2018 22:44

I don’t understand what’s making me sound so immature, can somebody explain please?
why is everybody so eager to know my age does it really matter right now?

OP posts:
indisdress · 10/10/2018 22:44

You claim they are bullying you, but have chosen to live there for 2 years?

And as for everyone else being so happy for you, just not them... Well maybe everyone else will offer to house you, your husband and baby?

You know how to fix this...

PurpleDaisies · 10/10/2018 22:45

I don’t understand what’s making me sound so immature, can somebody explain please?

You are being supported by your in laws and are expecting to graduate from that to being supported by the state.

autumndreaming · 10/10/2018 22:46

If you live with them to save money, surely you should have some saved by now after 2 years and should be able to afford to rent somewhere?

Your PILs probably don't want a baby in the house keeping them awake etc.

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