In laws haven’t yet congratulated us..

[Mumtobe99]

So I’ve been living with my in-laws for nearly 2 years now! ( frustrating) I never planned to have a baby until we moved out but it happened and we’re very happy!!
My MIL used to say “oh why don’t you guys have a baby?” And I used to say I’m waiting to have my own house first etc etc ..

But now I am pregnant she hasn’t mentioned anything at all to her son or me as if they want to just ignore it??
His dad didn’t even beleive us we told him he thought we were lying (wow)
Everyone is so happy for us apart from them.

I know they never liked me and our relationship isint that great but at the end of the day it’s your first grandchild ?
I don’t know if they’re jealous or ..
I know they hate me because of the attention my husband gives to me and he backs me up against them if they’re talking behind my back ... ( they’re old fashioned)
I’ve literally been bullied by all of them in this house I’ve been through so much.
They also don’t like me because I’m not their “typical bride” that’s what she told my mum!

I honestly don’t know how I’m going to live in this house with this baby it’s going to be tough but until we move out!!

It’s near his parents house..
I’m not mature enough ok? Thanks 😅
You don’t understand the Asian culture you don’t understands these people’s minds and the way they look at life.
All of my family started of living with in-laws and having kids then moving out .. I’m not saying that’s what I want but this is something that is normal to them. Some people live in extend families for life. So I don’t think they’re dreading the fact that I’m pregnant.

Won’t be posting on here anymore because I’m not “Mature enough”.

PS: I looked on Rightmove and there are places to rent in Gravesend which are cheap. I'm not familiar with the area though. Get some advice from your parents.

Your husband isn’t remotely interested in moving out from mummy’s house, is he?
Hence setting up a takeaway close by.

So he’s not bothered about living there.
You have no issue with it because it’s culturally normal for you.

So bottom line, is this just a whinge because they’re not congratulating you?

In which case, perhaps you’re just a little attention seeking? Being pregnant will be one of the most exciting this to have happened in your life so far. For your PIL - it’s just not that exciting when someone else is pregnant! Especially if they don’t like you.

I would care whether other people stayed with parents with young children.. I wouldn’t, not with people who didn’t want me there and bullied me.

OP has stated that living with ILs is part of her culture. She's allowed to feel a bit overwhelmed without strangers over the internet calling her immature. That's not fair.

Seriously, they are even worse than I suspected. You need to make arrangements to move as soon as possible. They are blackmailing him and withholding his wages, it’s all about control.

When your child comes along he/she will probably refer to you by your name and your in-laws as mom and dad, becomes they will consider your child as theirs and you won’t have a say in anything. Asian family politics are fucked.

Just keep quiet, save every penny you can and get out of there. Your DH is being financially abused. I really feel for you, please take care of yourself.

I hope you manage to get things sorted soon.

Jeezo OP...sort yourself out before having a baby FFS...🙄

You should have said you were Asian in the first post...because the culture plays a large part in what's going on.

You wouldn't have received some of the responses if pp were aware of this.

No wonder they aren’t happy. Why can’t people aspire to provide for their own children instead of being a drain on society? Kids are expensive, you’re never going to save up now! You’re literally one of those people that had a child so they can have a council house. Benefits/council houses are for helping people that have fallen on hard times, not just a way out of working towards a future. So many single men are homeless on the streets because careless/selfish people like you get pregnant prematurely in order to land a council house. Absolutely disgusted tbh.

I don't think she will, Doghorsechicken. I think the op, her husband and her baby will ultimate be Ok and quite prosperous. I didn't realise until later on in the thread that the family is Asian. They pull together and do well, far from being a drain on society.

This is a blip and the op is naturally vulnerable atm, hence the talk about council housing.

Well DH is planning to open up a small take away with his friend they’re just waiting on things like website & Logo etc..

Are you aware that during the first 2 years of operating a business, you're expected to be in debt - how much will depend on the cost of the equipment needed to operate, rental on the commercial property, staff wages, and much more? Year 2-3 you'd expect to break even. Year 3-4, small profit.

Unless you've got savings in the area of 60-100k, this is really not a realistic plan. (Or unless they're planning an illegal but very lucrative sideline like money laundering or actively selling drugs.)

Waiting on the logo?

So he has premises? All the necessary paperwork. And he is opening a business despite you moving away?

He has all the money to do that, but can't get a house?

Fact is that you are quite happy living with the in laws with some ridiculous notion you will get a council house because you have a baby.

Either this isn't real or you have a lot of growing up to do.

Well DH is planning to open up a small take away with his friend they’re just waiting on things like website & Logo etc.

Well that's not going to add fuel to the fire at all is it!

New baby on the way. Problems with in laws. Leaving family business whilst living under their roof.

No I can't see annnnyyy problems at all.

A lot of drip feeding, stuff not adding up and excuses for everything

You do come across as very immature and not actually taking on anyone's advice

From reading your first post, I assumed you were Asian, and with that comes a very different culture.

The parents' reaction could be that they now know you will move out. Two of my closest friends are Asian Muslims and it's very much the expectation of their husband's parents that the wife moves in to their house to care for them, cook, clean etc. When babies came along, it took away some of that support they had and they became resentful of the babies.

It will do you good to get out of that environment, OP. Keep bidding on houses x

They don’t understand that newly weds need their own place and privacy etc .. we’ve tried to move out n looked to rent many time

But I thought you couldn't afford to. Which is it?

His dad doesn’t want us there for sure but we can’t afford to move anywhere else, we’re on the waiting list for a council house