Handhold- telling H I want a divorce

[awesmum]

Handhold please
About to tell my H I want a divorce, he's mean, controlling, gaslighting, cruel to the kids, tiring, exhausting and doesn't stop talking at me. All wrapped up in 'I want what's right for everyone; everything I do is for everyone else; your selfish; not a team player; a thief; a liar; I always put everyone else first. You breathe too loudly; you walk too heavily; when you stand like that you look fat; don't say that; no you can't; you're disrespectful; I am the man of the house; these are my beliefs and my morals.'

I could and probably will go on ...

Really hope you manage to sort it out today via solicitors and
Court Op

He doesn't seem to realise that courts have seen all the game playing before, and will see right through him.

Hope the next time I see an update, you have your daughter back.

Sending hugs OP. Sorry you are having to go through this. You are being so brave and so strong we are all in absolute admiration of you and the wonderful mother you are. I second the advice of others here to cut contact completely until a contact and residency order are in place. Hope your solicitor can give you some good advice in the morning. Thinking of you xx

Thanks for all the support.

Women's Aid has come up trumps and made the police to a welfare check. She's fine apparently.

I discover that he tried on Friday to pick her up from nursery very very early and was extremely cross when he was told they were shut.

So just more waiting. He wouldn't even tell the police when he's going to allow her home.

Nothing he is doing is going to be seen as reasonable. Hold on to that because the judge will see it too.

Absolutely just reason to go to court tomorrow for an emergency residency order. What a d*ck he is.

Oh my god Awesmum, what an absolute nightmare. Your poor little girl! The way he treats her is so far from healthy parenting that personally I can't help hoping he ends up with the absolute minimum amount of contact possible.

Your strength is incredible

Will you make a second thread when this one fills up? I'm sure all of us posting on here want to keep following and supporting you.

If he keeps this shit up, he just may find himself getting supervised visits only! (Hopefully)

Did you call his solicitor or your solicitor's office?

Good luck today OP - I've got my fingers crossed for you

Oh my goodness this man is insane. I’m very pleased he’s shown himself up so appallingly stupidly just prior to court!

Wishing you loads of luck and strength op. What a stupid thing for him to do.

The biggest tragedy is that she needs you both - and he may have scuppered that for himself and your daughter! Selfish.

Followed this thread from the beginning & not posted before. Your love for your children stands out , you're a brave , strong lady with balls of steel. Your ex is an absolute twat who's plan of dominating your daughter is going to backfire on him spectacularly. Wishing you the best today with solicitors and hopefully court. She will come back to you. He will be deemed as unreasonable and be stuck with supervised access ( if there's a god).

I think you are awesome, he is a lunatic. Sending lots of strength your way

Jesus. I wish I could come over there and punch his lights out. Sending big hugs and solidarity. What an arsehole.

Just read this thread from the beginning. I admire you awesomemum. You are a strong lady x

You are incredible. Inspiring for staying so strong. Your children are so lucky to have you.

I have an update, currently in floods of tears, so bare with.

He wants her till Friday. Then as I work Wednesday, Thursday and Friday he wants her Monday to Wednesday, then Friday to Monday then Wednesday to Monday. He wants her to stop going to nursery.

He said the Cafcass officer said his suggestion was fair. I have asked for evidence of this after her saying to me that my offer of EOW and every Wednesday was OVER generous.

I am actually shaking how fucking livid I am! My new solicitor called him a tosser!

I have just had to do more forms to re-do legal aid, which has now run out! It can take 2 weeks to come back, so my solicitor is going to sneak out a sneaky letter (she's not meant to) saying he's a CUNT (ask everyone I know how much I abhor that word) and no! I am just about to sell my car and anything either not living or not nailed down to fund this.

I have gone from devastated to cold hard I am going screw you buddy - hence the swearing!

Big hugs. So sorry you are having to go through this. You are amazing x

I do not believe Cafcass will support her not going to nursery when the whole push is they want pre-schoolers to have early years education plus he takes her into his office which is not appropriate home based care.

I love your solicitor, she must me raging on your behalf.

KOKO

Is he trying to impose the contact he didn't get when you went to court?

So hard to read this update. I don't believe the cafcass story, he is just trying to play mind games.
Stay strong. Is he allowing you to talk to her at all?
Can you go to his place of work and somehow take your DD back, it is not illegal it happened to a friend of mine?

He lying again, Cafcass didn't agree two weeks ago in court they would not just do 180 degree turn.

What is your solicitor doing to get your dd back, and what you can do stop him having access unless supervised in a contact centre.

Did you ex tell you the CAFCASS thing or have you spoken to them directly?
He is a complete and utter wanker and I am so sorry he is putting you through this. Keeping everything crossed for a swift end to your nightmare.

do you have primary parental authority ?

He'a a lying liar telling lies. We all know that!

Stay strong. Did the solicitor say anything about getting an emergency hearing?