Handhold- telling H I want a divorce

[awesmum]

Handhold please
About to tell my H I want a divorce, he's mean, controlling, gaslighting, cruel to the kids, tiring, exhausting and doesn't stop talking at me. All wrapped up in 'I want what's right for everyone; everything I do is for everyone else; your selfish; not a team player; a thief; a liar; I always put everyone else first. You breathe too loudly; you walk too heavily; when you stand like that you look fat; don't say that; no you can't; you're disrespectful; I am the man of the house; these are my beliefs and my morals.'

I could and probably will go on ...

Nothing

He is normally here by now.

He's not bringing her home.

Stay strong. You need to stay longer to look like you were reasonable. Tomorrow starts with your solicitors, even if your normal one isn't there. He's not being cooperative and this is clear evidence of that.

I am still waiting

I won't leave yet

My god i am raging on your behalf. He is such a controlling fuckwit

He won't be quite so smug when his wildly unreasonable behaviour comes out in court. Hang on in there OP. I'm rooting for you.

Its just control over you. It's one of the things he is able to control at the moment. He is such a wanker. Hope you are ok

He's not allowing her home.

I have taken a selfie here which shows the time, so he can't lie and say I didn't turn up.

He's such an idiot. Shame on him. He's playing with a 3 year old what sort of man does that.

Going home to sort the rest of kids out ready for the week, and have a large glass of wine.

Twunt

discuss with your solicitor the option of going to court for an emergency residency order and he has no more overnights until CO made

Definitely push for power of arrest attached to his contact so the police do have the power to intervene and no longer can state "it's a civil matter"

I would also ask for a welfare check on her tomorrow to check he hasn't taken her away. Ask if you can go with them to collect her as he will be at work and it's meant to be your weekday non nursery time with her.

He's a fucker! This is far from reasonable and can only go against him in court. Stay strong.

@RandomMess has good advice. Have your wine, steady your nerves and think of your next day in court.

How can he take care of a 3 year old at his work place?

That Mix is the point, he doesn't actually look after her

Yes,I am horrified that he sequestrates her & carries her like a yorkshire terrier, even when pissing.
I can't think of any jobs where a 3 year old could tag along

The joy of working for yourself...

I’ve followed your thread. Nothing to add except I think you’re exceptionally strong and I’m willing you on. I hope you can get a custody order quickly. This is so cruel to your little girl.

I feel awful

I called to see when he returning her he gave a 3 minute lecture and refused to say so i said I was hanging up and I hung up. I didn't listen to the lecture to be fair, I just recorded it for court.

It is so hard. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, and doing it alone whilst bringing up 4 kids, working and fighting this battle is HARD.

I have had a 5 minute meltdown and back to holding it together. I hope to Christ that the court and everyone in the court system can see how massively fucking unreasonable he is being because he's a manipulative piece of shit.

My poor little girl. I wonder what he's said to her.

He has just given you what you need to go to court tomorrow. Go on google and legal here and get the forms here, I'm sure another solicitor at the firm can assist

I think it would be massively unlikely that he will get away with this. I will keep my fingers and toes crossed that you get full custody.
He should want what's best for her but all he cares about is control.

I thought you were picking her up on Sunday, but it's only Saturday night now? Emergency orders, and contact centre visits only. He's proved he can't keep his side, no more compromise on yours.

@SD1978 umm I think you need to look at your diary...

@pog100 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ this is what happens when you work permanent nights- I thought he was still being an arse in advance, not after the fact.

Sorry @awesmum- I thought he was still making threats, not having actually done it yet. Stupid night shift. Do you still know anyone at his place of work, who can at least check on her for you? All the best for Tuesday when you get to speak to your lawyer again xx

Damn him to hell.

Deep breaths. The courts are NOT going to look on this favourably, to put it mildly. You may have a rough few days ahead, but it will all come right in the end.

Is it possible to ring the courts tomorrow to see if you can put in an emergency form to get her back into your care? Just read your whole thread op I really feel for you but your doing so well you children will be proud of you when they look back on this

I have just read your whole thread. I was so excited to see he was finally gone!

I am so sorry he has your daughter🤯 Heisnt keeping her because he wants her, it’s to control you. A whole new level of asshole.

I hope you can get things dealt with tomorrow.