Possible/easy to just meet an OW???

[IsabellaMoltisantixx]

This is gonna sound a really stupid question but how easy is it for guy I meet ow when working away????

Long story short (see other post) dp is working away for 2 nights . Before he went he was acting a bit distant, not as lovey dovey it reassuring (I always get paranoid when he works away) but I did check his phone (very quickly) saw nothing on there

Now he's gone he hasn't contacted much at all but has been online LOADS on WhatsApp so my question is how would he have just got a woman's number and from the place where he's at??? Bear in mind he's never been to this place before, it's the first time he's had to go for work so not like he knows anyone there?

Would it just be easy for a guy to say go on tinder or POF or whatever n start chatting to a girl from that location n meet her? Surely it needs planning n like I said I checked phone beforehand n didn't see anything there

Just wondering if anyone has met a guy on the first day or two of talking to them. I've NEVER EVER used dating apps so I dunno how it works I'm really against them n hate the idea

You really need help. He doesn't respect you, is violent by the sounds of it and you are living on your nerves every second of the day.

You are no different to any other mother that would have to let her children's father take them from time to time.

You are just making excuses because you don't trust yourself/are afraid/can't be bothered to build a better life for you and your kids away from him.

That's so sad.

The fact is, he’s a cheat. You know he’s a cheat. You’re determined not to leave him so what else can you do except accept he’s a cheat? You can’t stop him and you can’t change him.

Every time you post tiny snippets of your suspicions you are being disingenuous. He is a cheat and an abuser. No one would answer this question the way they are if they had even half of the story.

What a sad, sad thread. I feel sorry for OP because she's clearly delusional and got her priorities very wrong. Mostly I feel sorry for the children, those young lives potentially ruined. I hope you come to your senses sooner rather than later OP and put your children first. Good luck!

OP, are you soft in the head?

You keep posting thread after thread about this absolute arsehole, you listen to none of the advice you are given, and you continue to focus on the logistics of his potential cheating without realising tat men are not forced into cheating just by dint of technology or circumstance. They cheat because they want to, not because they can.
The thing is- your man here is a fucking arsehole. He is not trustworthy, he isn't a good person, and why you love him is an absolute mystery to every single person on mumsnet apart from you. I can't imagine what you have been through for him to have this hold over you and to have injured your self esteem so badly.
Please tread carefully. It sounds like you're already on social services's radar- and even if you manage somehow to get through your children's childhood without ss involvement, consider for a moment what kind of lessons they are learning from this ridiculous set-up, this 'relationship'.

To answer your question- yes, it is very easy to hook up with strangers in just about any town or city in the world via social media. You can then swap numbers quickly and continue the chatting over WhatsApp.

The ease of technology is not your enemy here- your twat of a partner is.

He doesn’t need to bother chatting up a woman hoping for a date same night. He can just book a prostitute. Sounds like he’s the type that would.

Yep he's cheating OP. I've used loads of dating apps and have met on the same day. But what difference will it make? If he's previously done all that and you've done nothing, why the fuck are you bothering to even ask?

BTW I'd also consider if he has a cuckold fantasy he's already on a site to accommodate his fantasy and they're not exclusive to cuckold, so could easily hook up with someone same area, same night.

I don't know what to do I'm in two minds I really am, I like the idea of being a family I don't want to be a single parent family it bothers me way too much
I think the reason I'm so hellbent on finding out if he's cheating cos then maybe then it's easier to confront him with that rather than just to leave him
I did that last time n he made me feel so bad kept saying "you've ruined our daughter's life, remember you've done this" and then was certain I was cheating or had someone on the side cos why else would I leave him etc etc

Tbf, when he's been here he has been doing the correct things he starts work at 5.30am so he can spend more time at home he says as he has to work 43 hour per week so it's not like he's taking advantage of that n could easily say he's working "late" he doesn't go out with mates n does spend time as a family so I can't say he's given me reason it's just this time something has changed even the way he's txting is odd like keeps forgetting things for example there was a leak in my house n I told him it was under the sink,
He then txt about 2 hours later saying "is the leak from the sink or boiler?" Something so little bit strange he's usually on the ball
I always spend the weekend with him fri-Monday morn so he's not said anything different etc my guess is he's just making the most of his time away n freedom sigh I don't know what else to say...

I like the idea of being a family I don't want to be a single parent family it bothers me way too much

SO much that you are damaging your kids to the point of SOCIAL SERVICES INTERVENTION

Yeah right.

You are not a family, you are inflicting abuse on your kids by allowing this crap.

Just hang on, you both live in separate houses, so you're nearly a single parent anyway.

Your poor poor children.

@hissy

They have warned me to be safe because of a past incident, but he's never harmed the kids or put them in harms way

no, YOU are doing that. YOU are putting them in harms way

My ex ended up taking me out of the country and shut down my entire life for 3 years.

I got home eventually, he told me to 'behave' and do what I was told by him or he would leave.

It got a black plastic bag and started putting his stuff into it.

Mumsnet helped me see the wood from the trees.

You have been told DIRECTLY by hundreds of people.

What exactly ARE you going to do to protect your kids? Time is ticking, the longer it goes on, the more damage he does to them. Literally, EVERY day counts.

I had all the crap I went through and not once were SS involved, surely THAT in itself is what makes you wake up and call time there and then.

Just do it. We'll be here for you on the other side, but we can't help until you make that one tiny step to save your kids and yourself.

You only get one life. Is this how you want to spend it?

Holy Fuck.

This man has admitted to you that he finds rape a sexual turn on and you trust him with your daughters?

Please God I hope someone finds out about this and protects those girls.

You don't want to be a single mum. Do you think they are more miserable than you?

I'm out.

I agree here
Pointless posting. She is going to stay with this idiot whatever.

@FluffySox

He Likes the idea of cuckhold it's his fantasy he didn't say rape he just says I'm gonna get someone over to shag you" n one time cos I went to bed said "you'll wake up with someone shagging you" hasn't mentioned rape per se
I've dealt with that my own way tho n it's never happened thank god

you'll wake up with someone shagging you

That is rape, and is really fucking creepy and sinister

Can I just ask everyone's ages in here? I think maybe that's why people seem shocked because they're older, more mature and have had more life experience than me? I'm just suggesting that maybe in ten years time I'll hopefully be in that situation giving advice to others , it may just take time.

I’m 33, but I wouldn’t have put up with a man like this when I was 18.

I don't get it tho if he sounds so bad to women on here how does he meet so many women? When we were broken up he met loads, some of the women he was seeing still tried to txt him after we got back together so shows they really liked him? I just don't get it at all

Because they probably don’t know how much of a twat he actually he is if they had only just him. Secondly a LOT of women have low standards , don’t be one of them!

• if they had only just recently met him

That’s a good question. I assume there are a lot of women around with low standards/poor self esteem.
He has fantasies around you being raped (that’s what it is, rape). He cheats on you. Do you not think you deserve better?