I just added myself to fb chat with dh and ow

[MissMarpleMyArse]

I'm fucking fuming. I posted recently
About dh's suspect WhatsApp activity. It all stopped but I have been keeping an eye on his phone. This afternoon when he went to the toilet I clicked his apps and saw messenger was open. I've just had the chance to snoop again while he's in the shower and found messages between him and our friend (we aren't that close with her. - well I'm not). Loads of sexual stuff. I just added myself to the conversation and said 'wow I don't see that coming'
I'm upstairs now. Neither of them have read it yet.

Handhold and solidarity here.

This sounds like a really sucky situation and you're handling it really well. Hope telling your girls goes well!

I think you are handling this magnificently, OP... while your girls are old enough (in theory) to understand what their dad has been up to, I would want to protect them too. You are a wonderful mum and your instincts are sound. I feel for you, having to be the strong one when you have been put in such a horrible position by such a weak man.

He may have meant to type “slow walk.”

I've told them. It went as well as something like this could I guess. I said that their dad has not been around for the last couple of days because I have asked him to leave. I said that when we got married we promised to be faithful to each other, and unfortunately he has not kept that promise and I can't forgive it.
I was expecting questions but they both just stared at me. So I carried on to tell them that they can see him whenever they want, they don't need to feel that they should take sides and we both love them and that will never change. I told them that it will feel weird for all of us for a while - but we will get there.
My youngest gave me a hug and I cried. My eldest just drifted out of the room so I'll check she ok in a bit.
I've unblocked his number so I can tell him I've told them.

I can't even begin to imagine how you are feeling but I just wanted to say you are amazing. Take care of you. Xxx

Bless them, it'll be a shock for a while. Don't be surprised if he gives you more verbal abuse for telling them - though of course you had no choice 💐

Drifting out of lurking to say that you handled that really well and I hope you feel a small load has been lifted off your shoulders now that your girls know. You rock.

Well done. Be prepared for him being cross that you didn't tell him it was all your fault!

Well done MMMA, so much heartbreaking stuff you are having to do but you are doing an amazing job and are a wonderful example for your girls, don't forget to look after yourself as well, or let someone else look after you

That must have been really tough for you it sounds like you handled it in the best possible way, and they’ll thank you for that one day.

and for you.

Super job Marple. Your girls are so lucky to have such a strong role model. It’s going to be tough for all of you but carry on as you are and you’ll come out the other side much better off

Again.... we are all very, very proud of you!!!

Thank you. I hope they will talk to me if they need to, they've both gone up to their rooms (not unusual)
I text him to say that I've told them and basically repeated what I said on here.
I'm sure he will be cross as he got so cross about his mum and ow husband.
I don't know if he is staying with his mum, I've not heard a peep from her but we don't like each other much anyway and she never bothers with the kids. My mum left last night, she got me through the initial storm along with all of you.
He just text back - 'you do realise that you have just ruined any chance of us sorting this out'
I replied yeah that's right. I ruined it. All my fault. You poor innocent thing.

Absolute cunt. I'm raging now!!!!

So bloody proud! Just read the whole thing, all 38 pages, and I can honestly say that if I had one per cent of your strength I would be a different person. Take your time coming to terms with it, and spoil yourself! and for you - you deserve it!

I knew he'd say that! I think what it really means is "shit, she's told the kids, she really means we're finished" 💐

I know how difficult it is, but block him again.
I know he is taunting you and being an absolute cock about it, but the best thing for your head right now is to just ognore him

What a fucking prick he is, I’m raging for you MissMarple

Eh?!

He’s deluded. Must be.

You need to tell him the only thing we need to sort out is you legally being my ex-husband

Being on here is almost like having a "How your cunt of a husband will behave" manual.
I sent another message telling him to sort out with the kids when he will be seeing them as I'm blocking him again.
I wonder how that slag is getting on. I want to tell her what's she fucking done to my kids lives. I hope her dh doesn't forgive her. Shame she blocked me on fb or I'd be sending her a message. I'm so fucking angry right now.

He thought you would be hanging around waiting to sort it out? Madness.

I’m pretty sure the bit where he was caught sexting the other woman ruined any chance of you working things out, right? Also using the phrase “Slow Wank” seriously.... ew.
Oh, and thinking that after being caught cheating, that HE is the one that gets to decide whether there is a chance of saving the marriage or not....? Deluded little man!

Be careful he's not texting your dc to try and give them a sob story