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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Revenge body anyone?

371 replies

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 19/09/2018 17:24

So basically I experienced missed miscarriage, got cheated on, emotionally abused and dumped by my ex three months ago. I felt destroyed , literally broken for the first month but now I am starting to feel stronger (thanks to the supportive people on mumsnet who commented on my threads) . Trouble is I’ve been comfort eating since the break up and have put on 3 stone. 😱
I am always usually in good shape and have competed before.

Anyways long story short I’m goIng to start training again from Monday, with the aim to get my six pack back! I thought it would be nice if maybe others wanted to achieve a revenge body then I could help you with diet/ training and we can all support each other and get in shape for the festive season (Christmas party dresses ahoy) . I am not going to charge anyone for this obviously (before anyone starts to think of this as a plug for Personal training , I don’t do it for a living ). 😬

OP posts:
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FuckItPassMeTheWine · 05/10/2018 09:04

@Handbag101 well done so far lovely and yes I’ll post more of my diet Smile xx
@legocardsagain 😂😂 love that this fat is just going to have to fuck off and so pleased you’re upping the cardio ! And just read you’ve lost 8lbs!!! That’s is tremendous , I’m so pleased ! Grin xx
@Steala welcome lovely and of course ! 💛xx
@finn1020 welcome to the thread ☺️Xx
@RooDaisy welcome to the thread, hope you find it useful Smile xx
@Illstartexercisingtomorrow welcome to the thread ☺️ I’ll be posting some more diet examples up so that should help , also if you don’t have a machine at home could you go for a fast walk/ light run, or even just using your stairs in your house as a step to do twenty minute of step aerobics ? @Mousella suggestions are really good ! ☺️Xx
@DeadBod sounds like you have a good plan in place ☺️Xx

OP posts:
FuckItPassMeTheWine · 05/10/2018 09:05

@Mousella morning ! 💛Well done on completing your fasted cardio, just about to start to mine ☺️ 😅xx

OP posts:
Brot64 · 05/10/2018 10:33

Joining in. Need to shift 8 kilos by December hopefully. I generally am a healthy eater but eat too much and too often and swimming is the only thing I do.

FuckItPassMeTheWine · 05/10/2018 17:53

@Brot64 welcome to the thread Smile xx

OP posts:
Illstartexercisingtomorrow · 05/10/2018 22:27

Hi all it’s encouraging to read of everyone’s progress.
I’ve had a fab week with exercise - stuck to my targets so far.
Food has been an issue until yday when I have (tried to) reset. So far no stupid eating! Promised myself a homemade apple crumble and custard if I stick to the diet until Sunday! Then restart on Monday again with the promise of another dessert at the weekend if I stick to it!!

notsodimwit · 06/10/2018 05:47

Just found this brill threadSmile I'm 11.4 stone and 5.9" so need to tone up and loose some weight! Starting today (hope my bum dosnt look to big in these leggings Sad)

1in4FrogsIsALeapFrog · 06/10/2018 05:59

Love this idea x

legocardsagain · 06/10/2018 09:44

Morning! I did fasted cardio again today.

Yesterday was a total disaster. I wasn't feeling it yesterday so didn't do any exercise. Then I ate more than usual, telling myself maybe I needed it. Then felt really really ill and thought I'd pass out. Can't work out if I was ill first, then ate, or if I got ill from eating too much. Either way, it's self-sabotage.

My new mantra is: This fat has got to fuck off!

PearlandRubies194 · 07/10/2018 14:08

Hello everyone, I hope you’re having a lovely Sunday so far! I’m so glad I’ve found this thread as I need your help!

Okay, I’ve really let myself go. I’ve been overweight since I went to live with my grandma as a child, so I’ve never been thin, but I have been confident in my weight. It’s always fluctuated but at my happiest, I was a size 12 and around 11 stone. I have large bones, hips, feet and a very wide back - I’m not petite in structure at all and any lower weight than 11stone I just wouldn’t look healthy. I’m 5.7 which isn’t too small, but I’m not petite in structure (my children were nearly 12lbs too!)

I used to work as a carer in a residential home, which involved being active. I would also do Zumba dvds, go jogging, walking a lot. And then I fled domestic abuse and hit the floor with depression, anxiety, living in refuge and trying to keep myself and my children safe. I don’t smoke nor drink, so I ate to deal with these emotions and stress. Large portions, multipacks, on my own in the dark and then wake up with self loathing.

When it all settled down and we were rehomed, I started a University degree and became sedentary with the revision and studying. Long story short, I’ve now graduated, I have no family and no friends around me, I’m incredibly lonely and I have gained three stones. I’m receiving mental health support.

I also bite my nails and the skin around them; I’m on 100mg of sertaline but I may request an increase. I haven’t done my hair in months and the roots are awful, but it’s so expensive to maintain. I’m a lone parent and work part time - there’s rarely anything left over for treats. It’s a meaningful job but not well paid. I’m learning to drive and I hope to go full time when I have passed.

Clothes wise- I like boho styles, layers etc and I would LOVE to be able to buy some jewellery for myself one day! And some gorgeous clothes, right now I buy from Primark and own one pair of shoes!

Before I met my ex, I had so many lovely clothes and accessories. I used to get my hair done every four weeks, wear self tan and make up each day. I’ve just lost my motivation. It’s enough to get through the day.

My ex-partner began a relationship whilst we were in refuge, she’s no longer with him but she’s a beautiful woman. She takes care of her body and although it’s not her fault, it’s almost like another blow. I feel ashamed when I see my ex at handover and then I go home to eat!

I’ve been single for nearly 7 years - not even a text or a date in this time, as I’ve concentrated on my children. But I don’t want to be lonely forever.
So I’ll be reading this with interest, I wish I could love me again.
Sorry it’s long and thank you for reading!

legocardsagain · 07/10/2018 15:56

Hi Pearl

So glad you found us. Please take inspiration from this thread, we're all here to support each other. You have a similar build to me, with a similar amount of weight to loose. We can do this.

The thing is, you have to love yourself first. You can't make dramatic changes to your lifestyle, and loose weight along the way, if you're not 100% in this for you. You are loved, and have been loved, for who you are. Not what you look like or how much you weigh. Yes, it would be terribly satisfying to show your ex a new look you. But the revenge aspect is skewed. Just turning up and being happy is the sweetest revenge. He made you unhappy. You make you happy. You've got this! Thanks

PearlandRubies194 · 07/10/2018 16:14

@legocardsagain

I hope I’ve managed to tag correctly! Thank you so much for your kind words; yes, I absolutely agree. As clichè as it might sound, the confident girls are the happiest and prettiest.

I look forward to hearing about every one else’s triumphs too 🌷

Alicatz66 · 07/10/2018 18:14

Need to join in ... I like to be slightly under 9 stone. I'm now 9.7 due to too much food !!
I find if I count calories I get obsessed .. so I'm going to cut the carbs and eat loads of veg. ... I really like the sound of the 20 minutes in the morning ... I have to get in the shower at 6.30 but my DP gets up stupidly early so I will try for a 20 minute run tomorrow at 6.00 ... I do a rebound class on sundays. May add in an abs class on Saturdays .. but I really want to try weights so looking forward to checking in ...

BlueJava · 07/10/2018 18:15

You go girl!! :)

PearlandRubies194 · 07/10/2018 21:46

@ItsClemFandangoCanYouHearMe

Oh my days - I love the comment about your arsehols ex’ reaction seeing your revenge body! I’m also not feeling mentally ready but also desperately self loathing at the same time 😢

Mousella · 08/10/2018 06:47

Morning everyone, so nice to see people still joining the thread.

Done my 20 mins first thing. I can’t beliebe how long I’ve kept this up, I definitely wouldn’t if it wasn’t for this thread.

Love the mantra @legocardsagain - I’m copying that too 😊

@PearlandRubies194 I think the exercise is making me feel more confident already, even though I’m sure I don’t look any different to the outside world as yet. Can’t wait to hear how you get on.

My aim for this week is some better food choices and to make sure I get in 3 or 4 evening sessions too. Small steps!

Take care everyone xxx

legocardsagain · 08/10/2018 08:11

Fasted cardio done. Tried HIIT with it, doing 30s of every 5 mins on the cross trainer. Fuck that's hard!!

My back pain is easing up. This is absolutely due to exercise. I no longer feel 30s away from an a&e visit every time I bend over to do the washing!

This fat needs to fuck off! Grin

PearlandRubies194 · 08/10/2018 15:58

Hello everyone,

I’ve started to have hot water with lemon throughout the day in an attempt at cutting down on coffee intake. Although it’s actually the sugar in the coffees that’s a problem - and I have an addiction to coffee shop Vanilla lattes!

Also, as been for a very long walk to the woods and back with my youngest this afternoon.

Last night, I hit the treat cupboard and binged again 🤦‍♀️ I’m going to buy less treats next time I go shopping, just difficult as the children enjoy a little choc bar in packed lunches.

legocardsagain · 08/10/2018 16:10

I feel your pain@PearlandRubies194. My DS likes to have a small chocolate treat after tea each evening.

I remember the look on his face, right before he started crying, when Dad are all the chocolate once. And once only! The sheer guilt destroyed me in that moment, and I hadn't even eaten them! Grin

I just tell myself all those crisps and chocolate are not mine. It works for me. If we ever have grown up chocolate (Guilian seashells mmmm) or ice cream, it's gone. Snaffled and inhaled without chewing.

I am finding my mantra really helps. How on earth can fat fuck off if I eat an entire loaf of bread in one afternoon? (Blush jam sandwiches are lush)

Do what works for you x

PearlandRubies194 · 08/10/2018 16:13

Thank you!

Yes that’s true - how the hell can I look like Khloe Kardashian this Christmas when I eat the kids’ treats? 🤭😂 chat soon X

TastelesslyDone · 08/10/2018 22:13

Minor update: 10k run in the bag and a couple of pounds off in the last fortnight. Rewarded with a beer Grin

legocardsagain · 09/10/2018 13:35

I've got bad back pain again Confused skipped fasted cardio this morning but will hopefully get my cardio this evening whilst maxed out on painkillers.

Just accidentally ate a 2 pack of Oreo biscuits. After I realised I'd miss calculated the calories in a bag of popcorn. Not 85 for the bag but 85 per portion, 3 portions in the bag. Oops. Gotta do my cardio after that!!

I've not weighed myself since Friday, it's that time of the month so I'm going to wait until I've finished before I weigh myself again. I'm really hoping to see a loss. 🤞

legocardsagain · 11/10/2018 08:07

Fasted cardio done! I'd missed the last 2 days due to pain. I definitely felt it today, it was much harder to maintain the time I did previously. Another reason not to skip!

This fat needs to fuck off!!

Bosabosa · 11/10/2018 08:30

Hi all, you guys are so inspirational and some of you have been through so much awful stuff- hope you are proud of yourselves.
I am into week 3 of doing fasted cardio 5 times a week and feeling great for it. Haven’t kept up regular exercise for over 7 years so am pleased! Once it becomes a habit, in the new year I will aim to add more.

Keep going all!

legocardsagain · 11/10/2018 11:26

Hi @Bosabosa glad to have you on board!

You message slapped me in the face and reminded me of reality!!

I've been down on myself for not doing cardio on Tue/Wed as I didn't feel too well.
I'm doing fasted cardio 5 times a week and that is an awesome achievement! Thank you for helping me to see the positives. Grin

PearlandRubies194 · 11/10/2018 16:36

@legocardsagain and @Bosabosa well done both of you on the cardio - when I do exercise (rarely) I feel amazing afterwards! Why can’t I be addicted to that instead of Vanilla Lattes?!

Do you do this at the gym or from YouTube? I’m on my way home from work but I’ve filled the cupboards and fridge with healthy fruit and veg. Just need willpower to stay away from my daughter’s treats!