If your husband was cheating, would you want to know?

[astrid20]

I have very good evidence that my male colleague is having an affair with another colleague. It's only a small office and they are very cosy; going for lunch together and to the gym.

I have seen them leaving the office together very late, after he made a show that he was going home. I sit next to the guy and have seen them messaging during work hours and she once let it slip that he had given her a lift home from a work event.

I live near to her and yesterday morning when cycling to work I saw them leave her house together, although they walked in to work separately.

I know the guy is married and that his wife has just given birth to their second child. The woman is single.

I despise cheaters and it makes me mad that other colleagues think this guy is a real family man.

If you were the wife in this situation would you really want to know? Would you believe an anonymous tip off?

@Sleepingstandingup

I'm always amazed how many people don't want to know their partners are having sex with at least one other woman, are having their sexuality health put at risk by their partner unknowing, their children's lives put in danger of chaos if ow falls pregnant etc.

Me neither. The thing is not everyone is confident, financially secure and strong to deal with it, so they'd rather not know. Ignorance is bliss for them.

It's easier for them to not know, because they aren't able to leave the relationship and now feel compromised for staying...it's easier to bury their head in the sand.

You have a woman who sees her DH on a dating site as single and looking for his soulmate (another thread), yet that's not enough to leave him for. A very low bar indeed.

I'm not financially secure enough, I couldn't afford this house in my own as I don't work (sahm) but I'd prefer to ensure many things as opposed to syphilis and a few half siblings for my son

It's easier for them to not know, because they aren't able to leave the relationship and now feel compromised for staying...it's easier to bury their head in the sand

I’d rather not know because i wouldn’t feel the need to end a relationship over it, so it’s pointless knowing. It doesn’t matter to me.

I'd want to know, I'm not sure I'd end my 29 year relationship over it, that's a wider complexity due to entwined lives and shared history,. But I could easily do so if I pleased. In all senses.

However I would not want an anonymous letter from some one who didsnt even know if it was true or not. And I also understand that many women differ from me, that this would cause them untold distress, especially with a new baby and other young children, and I would never wish to be the person who caused that distress, particularly if there was a chance it wasn't true,

Whahat saddens me, is some women would do this to another woman , when she was at her most vulnerable, because in their view it was "highly likely".

Fortunately the op is not one of those women.