Dating Thread 139: clowns swiping left to me, jokers to the right...

[Pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I never see any of them!

I’m seeing Mr Anxious tomorrow and please god can this be fun and not deep and meaningfully staring into each other’s eyes all night

pookieDo you’re probably too young. I’m 55... with no children. I have been asked why my profile says i don’t want children. There is no option for “too late”!

I get men in their late forties or early fifties who can't understand why I'm the same age but still have children living at home. We all have different life experiences. For some children are a deal breaker. It doesn't really bother me.

PookieDo he sounds like hard work. Dating should be fun. You shouldn't be worrying about saying or doing the right or wrong thing.

Try being a man who doesn't want children or to be a step parent, trying to find women who don't want children or don't already have children.

Now THAT is REALLY tough on dating sites! Even if you find any - and they are very few and far between - you've then got to hope there's one you find attractive and with one or two mutual interests to even message. And then get down on your knees and pray they feel the same. Sadly, there are FAR more men who don't want kids than women, so the chance of getting a reply even if you find a match is ridiculously slim.

Hi, I've lurked.. but after a crap summer of OLD, reappearing and then disappearing exes and an on/off FWB, I thought I'd jump in!

Just brushed myself off after the last one and ready to bumble on again.

Aaah, I'm struggling with men and kids. One guy recently had 2 little ones. I'm chatting to one now who wants kids ! I'm in my 40s and mine are 12 and 10! It's not put him off and still wants to meet regardless but what's the point really?! Even if we get on, it would be an issue at some point.

Good idea 're the plus one by the way, might just do that. Thankyou.

My irons have dried up a bit, no word from MrNiceGuy though I suspect embarrassed by his drunken antics on Saturday. Yesterday had very sexy phone chat with new MrMilitary and though my brain says he lives too far away for anything, I'm sortof hoping he does follow up on sorting out a meeting....gut feeling says now he might have got his chat, reality means nothing more....sigh....super sexy voice!

I'm talking to one guy who's a potential FWB, which is probably what I need at the moment, going through with meeting him is going to be a big hurdle, but I'm not going to get anywhere with dating until I've ticked first post divorce sex off the list. I was with my exH since school so this is like contemplating losing my virginity in my 40s, I think some alcohol is going to be needed.

Lovely first date last night, sat outside until it got too cold. Lots of laughter, lots in common, a chaste kiss on the lips at home time, probably my favourite date so far!

Hi I was on here a few weeks ago asking about paying for Bumble. I did and at that point felt pretty despondent about the whole OLD business and was about to delete and give up for a while. Well that same night I matched with someone so awesome I feel like perhaps the whole thing is an elaborate practical joke by someone who really hates me! I may live to eat my words but right now I'm having an amazing time with him so I just wanted to add my happy experience to this thread which has helped me so much in the past.

cool I’m in a similar situation with Mr Kayak, we are meeting tomorrow but I know it’s probably not worth it. Even though I feel I have made my views obvious he seems to be over investing and pushing towards a relationship. I can’t be a n a serious relationship with someone with a very young child (he has full custody). I like him a lot, he seems fun and kind but it won’t lead to anything serious.

I think I’m just going to stick to dating and maybe change my profile to ‘not looking for a serious relationship’. I don’t think there’s much chance of me finding someone with kids my age or older and most the men without kids seem to think they have time to have some (I don’t want any more).

I have got used to my own company and although it would be great to find someone to travel with and go on adventures with I think it’s possible to do it alone and still be happy.

I am having no luck

MrMusic cancelled Friday so I sent him a goodbye message. Wasn't sad about it - but we have been seeing each other on and off for a few months now. He's a great guy, just obviously not in the right place and the sex was great so I will miss that.

MrLBG and I were meant to be seeing each other Sunday and that got cancelled because of an issue with the place he stays in (we met up but then couldn't go back there).

MrCoast really likes me but I'm just not sure I like him enough. The bad sex thing is such a huge issue for me as I like a lot of sex in a relationship. And he's moving away so I think that's a non starter but I am fond of him.

Saw MrNorth briefly on Saturday and he wants to move forward with me too. I haven't seen enough of him - I like him a lot, we have such fun together but I'm not totally sold on him if that makes sense.

Bloke1, first online date I ever had, sent me a message this weekend but no firm plans to meet up.

Got loads of matches with Bumble over the weekend but if history has taught me anything, it's that the majority won't message back!

Well Mr Kayak is coming over for a coffee in a bit (rushing around tidying up, not sure why).

Daffo the sex thing is a buggy for me too, it needs to be good and lots of it or I lose interest fast.

My list of wants are getting bigger and my chances of finding a man slimmer 😬

I feel the same. Sex has to be consistent and a lot of it. I am going to give MrA another crack at it tonight and he’s all bravado about showing me a good time but not sure he can follow through

Good luck tonight Pookie, does anyone else find the men that talk about sex a lot are the ones that are not very good at it? Such a big build up only to be disappointed. Mr Tall was messaging me yesterday telling me how he’s quite large down there so I wouldn’t be disappointed 🤨, sadly the size doesn’t make a difference if they don’t know how to use it.

Anyway, feeling nervous, My Kayak popping over, we were not meant to be seeing each other until tomorrow but he’s only down for the week so he wants to see me a couple times before he goes back, he’s also dropping hints about coming to the festival with me at the weekend, the one that I am meeting Mr VW at (could be interesting).

Oh they are the worst ones
I had a kind of sexy messaging thing going on a couple of years ago, no desire from either of us to even go on a date but clearly fancied each other build up was amazing. He was funny and sexy and it was a turn on, all his promises, but they never came to anything.... I went and met him one day spontaneously as I was nearby and he mashed his face into mine, mouth like a tumble dryer whilst basically honking my boobs in his hands. I just wanted to burst out laughing

I've got a date tomorrow evening..... possibly. We have agreed a venue but not a time. He seems nice, quite intelligent and interesting but I'm not really sure if he's right for me.
But I thought I would just meet him for a drink and see what's he's like in person. Except I've just found out that I've been set up by my friend and her boyfriend. My date is friends with the boyfriend, although my friend has never met him. Between them they managed to persuade him to set up a POF profile. Then my friend just happened to point out his profile to me, saying 'he looks nice', so I messaged him.
I only found out by accident, so I think my date is unaware of this. Given that I'm already having doubts about us being very compatible, I think I should cancel. I don't want to cause problems between my friend and her boyfriend as their relationship is quite new. And I don't like being set up!

Pookie, yes, been there. Exchange messages with a man for ages, lots of sex talk, talk of all the amazing things he could do, met up with him to DTD and he lasted all of 5 seconds.

Well, Mr Kayak popped in for a coffee, we kind of kissed (just a couple pecs not full on snog), I’m a little bit worried about snogging him as he has piercings (lip and tongue), I’m worried about all that metal getting in the way 😐, anyone have any expereance with piercings? Good or bad?

Hello, MrMilitary messaged me this morning about dates so we are meeting up next week. He seems good fun though has sent me a few torso shots which make me think he is wanting sex and/or making me feel like I'm no way as fit. I have an ok body, busty hourglass but have my belly too, does anyone else go through this anxiety with very fit partners? BTW his face is ok but it's the body which looks unbelievable.....

Esha, I have worried in the past when dating fit guys, often think I’m not good enough, then I take a look around and see loads of if guys holding hands with larger women, just because some one likes to keep fit it doesn’t mean they expect the same from their partner. I try and keep fit but I have had children and my body with never go back to how it was, I don’t necessarily look for fit men but have dated a couple including military/ex milatary, I don’t find a six pack much of a turn on TBH so being show torso photos kind of puts me off (just makes them look big headed).

I suspect this bloke is trying to show me he is fit for his age, though I do think his face looks more his age. Im just hoping for a decent kiss, nothing more!

Yes, I think some men see it as part of the mating ritual, to show laddies that they are still in shape and work out, I don’t think they realise that to us it’s not that important as we are going to spend more time looking at their face. One of my irons had an amazing body but had been hit with the ugly stick, how ever fit his body was I just couldn’t imagine kissing his face 🤣

Nice to read some really lovely experiences on here recently.
No dates lined up but have had some nice but brief chats with Mr America over the past 6 weeks. We matched whilst he was in London for work (is here once a month). I can’t make him out though. Anyone have any thoughts about this? He doesn’t like to reveal too much about himself but seems to want to stay in touch. He was back in London a couple of weeks ago and messaged to ask how I was and that he was only here for a very brief period (long weekend). I suppose I’m flattered he messaged. I asked about his relationship status and he said he’s single, never married, no kids (he’s 41). I told him I had a child and I understood it may not be what he is looking in someone and said he could unmatch me if he wanted. He said I’d have to try harder than that. We agreed to meet up when he was next back in London. Today, I sent him a message about a lecture in London we could go to if he had time and if it coincided with him being here. He clicked like on the message but didn’t reply. He doesn’t message at all when back in the US. Does he even sound interested

I have to admit I like a fit body.
Body builder type men really turn me on can't stand skinny or overweight men which I am a bit rich from me as I don't have the ideal body by any means.