Dating Thread 139: clowns swiping left to me, jokers to the right...

[Pringlecat]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Raspberry I've been asked for a photo holding a piece of paper with the date and my name on more than once... apparently there are so many fake profiles... photos stole off Instagram etc.

Maybe he's just trying to check you're real?

I'm high-fiving you Corvid for making the decision to message that guy.

I completely agree with you about many choosing to remain in the fuzzy area. It's a place where anything seems possible without having to take too many risks. To be honest I was like a little like that a few years ago but now I know I don't want to waste any energy second guessing anyone; anymore especially when I hardly know them.

Oops sorry for the typos; I'll blame that second glass of wine my neighbours poured me this evening!

raspberry I think it's fine to ask for photos like that. Apparently there are loads of fake female profiles and I met someone who was terribly hurt by a fake profile who spoke to them for 3 weeks then spent the next week spamming them with 'Send me money' emails!

Re photos - I haven't asked, and I would find it off-putting. However, I do understand why the request has been made. In fact, I currently have some very cute Tinder matches I am not messaging because I can't quite believe they've deliberately swiped right. They are very dreamy looking.

I guess if someone wants more photos, it may not be that they are trying to figure out if you're attractive enough, it's more that they don't believe you're real as you're too pretty. Case in point as above.

I've been exercising today, which is perhaps why I have zero energy - I'm looking at some messages thinking, I can't be bothered to reply. This whole enthusiasm for dating really peaks and wanes... I wonder if it's because I'm vaguely interested in someone I've seen in real life.

I am terrible at keeping up enthusiasm for more than one person. Has anyone noticed how "polyamorous" is becoming more common in dating profiles? I mean, it's good that they're being upfront, but it's really not for me...

I might make some subtle enquiries about that guy I met down the pub. Find out if he's unattached.

Room for another one on this thread?

I'm feeling fed up. Was persuaded to start be brave and date again after many years break. Been on a paid site for a few months, had a bit of interest, not loads but enough. Met up with one guy, it was like a job interview! guy number two seemed ever so promising, arranged a day and place just not a time for a date, swapped numbers, lots of texting aaand... ghosted the day before we were due to meet. guy no 3 really seemed like a good match, he suggested we meet, so we arranged a date three weeks away (I did try move this forward, but sods law the earlier dates he suggested I couldn't do), lots of whatsapp conversations every single day, sent me a good morning message yesterday which I didn't see until evening, I replied then and again this morning, and he's received but not read either and our date was supposed to be tomorrow. Sent a standard text just in case it was whatsapp playing up and now I'm super bummed out because he hadn't replied to that either so two ghosters in a row, after getting quite hopeful after ooodles of text conversations. Are these men married and just wishful thinking? Commitment phobic? Meet somebody else just too wimpy to say?!?

@subspace I think it's the sweet shop mentality. They talk to lots of women at the same time, and when they find a better one, they either stop responding so quickly or ghost you. If you ever talk to one you like, you do need to meet them quickly so you can both gauge interest. Or it dwindles away...

Welcome to the thread.

@Pringles thank you it was a really nice date. I actually found him attractive and nice to talk to!
So fingers crossed for date 2. We've been chatting since

@coolcahuna Ooh, exciting. It's always nice when a first date ends with a bit of promise to it, rather than hoping you won't run into that weirdo again! Fingers crossed for you.

@pringle it's always a shock when they are OK right

Thanks Pringles

Hi guys, hope you all had good evenings

I went on my date (1st in a long time!) and am now so conflicted. I find him so sexually attractive. He is not sleazy (i feel like the sleaze!) but he’s... intense. A lot of deep and meaningfuls for a1st date, he is very open he has social anxiety and worries a lot. I just don’t know if this is something I want to take on. I am conflicted as To whether to appreciate his honesty and that he’s self aware or run away....

PookieDo, how about you not worrying too much and meet him again if you feel like it, keep it light and casual?

Guy I thought was ghosting me has just woken me up with a text reply. Not sure if it really makes sense, but he's been at a sports event all day and I think probably had a few. Was going to reboot his whatsapp to see if his end is the problem (it might be, my end is receiving others, or he might have just not been on since yday lunch as Whatsapp says). I'm Too busy pretending to be asleep to dare to look on it What the hell is the ettiquette now lol?!? Now a bit concerned I might need to go on a date tomorrow after all and I haven't prepared an outfit/have messy nail varnish/etc. Oh heck.

We have already descended into immediate sexual tension texting so I think it’s going to have to go somewhere even if it doesn’t ever go further than that 😂
I just don’t want to hurt him... if he’s a bit fragile and I want fun. I hope he can relax and be on my naughty fun page for a bit

@subspace

I would just reply! See if the date is a goer or not; then at least you can plan it

I'm not having any more luck unfortunately, lots seeming to swipe right on me but when I message, nothing! I don't get what I'm doing wrong!! I read the profiles so do take that into account ie not just a hello. This is Bumble which I do like but am slowly getting fed up of.

Pringlecat and aprilfool thanks for your replies. I'm glad people agree it's creepy, I'm pleased I saw before it went any further!
April I'm hurt , lots of pain but hopefully it will ease off as the week progresses, thank you for asking xx

News !!!!
I have my first proper pof date!
Tomorrow Eve!
Nice (seeming) guy, I contacted him but he had pending date with someone else so he had the date said lots of awkward silences.
We've chatted for about a week on and off, nothing creepy just normal chat : info and laughs...
I asked him out yesterday and he said he was just about to ask me...
So we're meeting tomorrow eve! (Both got kids and busy so finding mutual day was fun)
I'm working in the day & we haven't chosen venue yet as we're having a summer resurgence here so waiting to see if can do outside or no...
I'm nervous, clothes, speaking, attraction, super self conscious as health problems means I'm a little overweight/untoned
My pics are a good representation of me but obviously don't show my gunt or huge arse.

And what to wear?

Aaaaarrrrghhh!!!!

Just checking in. I am struggling. Had a week off from the dc and managed one date. Guy who works in probation - and wants to whine about his ex wife and talk shop so complete dead end. Sigh

@Queen Whining about exes is a no go. Move on.

After my not so nice dtd and dump scenario this week I’ve set up two dates. Hopefully one of them will be fun. I’ve found myself reminiscing a lot about another ex from earlier this year too so I need to take my mind off him.

@dragonflyflew yaaayyyy you had a date, AND you've got another one, how exciting!! What about choosing somewhere that's got undercover and out in the open stuff? There's a nice wildlife reserve near me that would fit that brief, or a nice cafe/restaurant/pub with a garden if the weather is kind?

@Queenofthedrivensnow urgh nobody likes a whine about exes, especially not on a first date. I marvel about the lack of self awareness people who do that show, it's pretty basic dating 101.

@Raspberrygirl two dates in one week sounds good! Don't get them confused

I replied to mine this morning by text again. No reply as yet His whatsapp still says he hasn't been on since Friday morning so if there is a whatsapp problem it's his end not mine. Time for a shower, make myself look nice and go out and please myself this morning. If he wants to see me he can join in my plans, if not I'll have had a nice day out anyway

Oh, and a couple of freaky prospects contacted me, one who I had a very brief exchange with months ago has popped back up, and another who mentions "looking for an honest committed woman" and is trying to force me to exchange numbers straight away "because he doesn't come on here much" ... dude, if you can do whatsapp you can log on to this site from your phone. I said no not yet for security (AIBU to try to weed out potential psycho stalkers having my number with a few basic messages first if nothing else??) and he's pressing asking what I mean by that, and why is he insisting on knowing how long I've been on the site for?! Time to reach for the block button...

subspace thank you! Super nervous! Great idea, I'll have a think x

Congrats cool

MrNorthern2 is a non starter. Spent whole date talking about himself! Nice enough guy but just cannot see myself going out with him.

Back to the beginning again! Argh!

MrNorthern1 wants to do date 3 but I am undecided about him. May set that up while pondering next moves.

Back to work full time Monday which will slow everything down massively

Hi! Found the new thread. I've been awol for the last few threads really. I have absolutely bot all to report (apart from reporting a few weirdos on pof 😂)
Seems to be a mixed bag for everyone on here. I think I'm in the same position as runsforcake14 - I'm just not getting many hits at all, and the ones that do reply seem to be very keen, and then just disappear. Don't know what I'm doing wrong tbh.