had a affair, now i am pregnant

[donnadell]

i had a stupid affair that lasted 4 months and ended about 6 weeks ago, its the worst thing i have ever done and could sit here all day saying how sorry i am for what happened.

dh found out about it and after a lot of heartache we decided to give things another go, things have only really been "normal" between us for the last few days and i thought we had turned a corner.

now i find out that i am pregnant, there is a chance it could be either dh or om's. i was on the pill but also took a course of anti biotics which i was unaware could make the pill stop working.

now i dont know what to do, i cant face the idea of a abortion, even if i was 100% sure it was om's i dont think i could do it and the idea of killing a baby that is my dh's would destroy me. i have made the biggest mistake of my whole life and just when i though i would live through it this has happened.

can anyone please give me some advice, please dont post just to rip me apart because i have already been through so much of that in rl. nothing anyone says could make me feel any worse but i need some help in what feels like a impossible situation.

have reported Xenia's post so it shd be deleted tomorrow

Hi Donna

Like everyone else is saying please come back. You have so much support here and believe me it really does help.

I didn't know you'd lost the baby. I just read the first post. Poor you. So comments about not mentioning the pregnancy yet and that it might miscarry anyway were inappropriate.

Best of luck.

donna?

doona,so sorry.ive been eading thread but hadnt posted.i just wanted to say im thinking of you.

donnadell where are you? if you are nearby i would be happy to lend an ear and a shoulder to cry on

i think you really need some support right now. i take it not many people know about the affair so you haven't got many people to talk to?

just read post. Donna feel for you so much. How are you doing today?

btw are you a namechanger cos i haven't noticed your name on here before?

I dont think there was anything malicious baout Xenias post.

She was simply replying to the op, and i'm sure that Donnadell has more on her plate to worry about.

dd...you have gone quiet...

It's not an offensive post. It just said don't tell anyone yet because it might miscarry as many pregnancies do so then no harm done. That's sensible advice. Very very sadly she then did miscarry as stated later on the thread. I haven't read all the thread. Why did the husband know?

Anyway very sad all round.

when i read xenia's post i just assumed she meant don't tell anyone until 3 months cos that's sort of the the safety bracket. not necessarily because of the affair either. many people don't say anything until then cos if they do miscarry they'd prefer people didn't actually know they were pregnant cos they don't want to deal with people asking about it and pussyfooting around.

dd, hope u r ok. xenia, fgs just read like everyone else has too. understand u didnt mean to misundersatnd the sitch, but read more than the first post when there's been about 200 after it.

I usually do read more than one post. I'm certainly sorry if she was upset by what I said. Obviously it was correct advice - if nothing had been said her husband seemed on the first post to be recovering from the affair and they were getting on with things. As she told him or he found out about the baby he told the other man. Anyway I hope it all works out. Often silence is the answer on these things.

Xenia has explained. I think it might be best to let it drop.

DD so, so sorry to read of your miscarriage It was your little baby regardless of who his/her daddy was.

Take it easy pet xoxox

i didn't read the whole thread either. i read some of the beginning posts and then some of the end posts.

i don't understand this outpouring of sympathy for you.you had ana ffair and now you are paying the price.it is your husband i feel sorry for.

"i asked him how he would feel if i had a abortion and he thinks that in the circumstances that would be for the best, both of us have always said that we dont agree with abortion but we were also not planning on having any more children of our own so i do think he was taking that into consideration as well. "

good to see you stciking by your moral convictions...when it suits you.

I too have always felt sorry for the husband and hope he is ok. How different it would be if the OW when a husband has an affair was to have a baby.

However donna is paying the price and if only she had thought of all this before she embarked on the affair in the first place. We cant turn back time and maybe this will serve to show how stupid an affair is and really not the way to behave in any relationship.

Still hope you are ok

Donna, I'm so sorry about the baby. No advice, just sympathy for all the family.