Awful holiday

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

Help me get through this please. I have come on holiday with a friend and her son. I have 3 DC. I'm a week into a two week holiday and it's just awful. She spends all day telling me what to do, where we should go, what we should eat and pressuring me to spend money when she knows I'm trying to keep to a budget. I wanted to chill out just with my kids one day and she accused me of lacking respect and decency because I didn't want to put a towel over my head in a rainstorm to meet her in a bar.
It's just relentless. I'm spending time with her all day and finding it so stressful. She snaps at me and my kids and then she wants to sit up at night drinking and gets so offended if i want an early night.
Last night I said 'I'll just have a glass of wine in this next place and head back as I'm a bit tired.'
She snapped 'why do you have to plan everything? You're on holiday. Go with the flow. You might want more than one glass of wine. I can't relax, I'm on holiday.'
I feel like I can't speak as it will be wrong. I would love to cut ties but our other friend is arriving for the final week and I don't want to make it awkward for her.
I also hate confrontation and have an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. I want to go home

well you have the perfect excuse to stay away from her now don't you, to keep your DC safe from her DS. I had a friend whose child hurt my DC, and threatened to kill them. I did not hang out with them again as it was the final straw in a line of previous events.

I am guessing that you did not discuss before you went away, the logistics of the holiday. If you do anything like it again, make it clear before you go, that you will spend time with other person, but also want time on your own. As others have said, you do need to be more assertive, no sorry, no excuses, just "we are having a chilled night here thanks" and then ignore.

I am guessing that they are maybe lonely and thought that you would be spending all of the holiday together. I think I would think that unless told otherwise, if I booked to go away with a friend.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday.

I didn't mean martyrdom INA horrible way. I should have been clearer, I was talking from my own perspective.
I'm a people pleaser (trying to change).
I tend to put up with all sorts of shit, complain to others, feel sorry for myself and really suffer until it's over.
Sometimes take my pain and stress out on the wrong people
I'm trying really hard not to stay in the victim mindset, which just perpetuates whatever shit sitch I'm in at the time.
and that's kind of what I meant. Let it go now, it's beautifully and miraculously sorted itself out now, op has all the power and ammunition so now's the time to go and have fun and shake off all that negativity. Turn the remaining time into a holiday of a lifetime for y'all.

Op hope you have a good time with nice friend, you very much deserve it.

We're all so cheesed off for you that your hard earned cash has been spent on this holiday and this total old bag has ruined it for you.

What a cow! I agree with others - just pretend she's not there. You're on holiday with your kids - do what you would normally do without any consideration to crappy 'friend'.

Just a thought - are you coming back on the same flight?

This is why I only holiday with DH and kids. Holidays and being forced together for a week or more brings out the worst in people.

Oh and but you can have whatever drink you want!

Just had a lovely couple of drinks and a chat with nice friend. We are visiting her apartment and using the pool tomorrow so I'll tell horrible friend that's what I'm doing.
Unfortunately we are coming back on the same flight but at least I'll be homeward bound by then.
Nice friend has made a huge difference.

At least you've had nice friend there - I take it she's coming back on a different flight?

Just remember you've got one more uncomfortable situation to get through and then you never have to see her ever again.

How long is the flight and will you be sitting next to her?

Enjoy the rest of your holiday - no way would I try and go home early! Your nice friend and you can salvage the last days together!

Yes nice friend is on an earlier flight that day. I'm sat in front of horrible friend for a 3 hour flight but it's manageable.

Horrid friend just turned up at my apartment. I told her I was spending the day with nice friend tomorrow and she suggested I do that for the rest of the holiday.

Sounds like the best chat you have had then!!

That sounds like excellent news !

Win win! I bet she expected you to plead with her to spend time with you instead.

Yep. Very happy. I didn't apologise for it either. New assertive me.

What did they row about?

Tbh, if I went on holiday with a friend (I never would!), I would expect to spend most of the time together. I went on holiday with sil-2 last year and we spent most of the time together, that being the point of going with them.

I didn't want to spend time with her because she bullied and bossed me about. Had she not done that I would have been more keen.

All's well that ends well then.

I’m glad it has turned around for your OP.
Have fun with your nice friend, enjoy the pool with your DC and hopefully you hear no more from that utter jack in a box.

Just an update. Nice friend and I have enjoyed the rest of our hol. Plane journey will be awkward but who cares, I'm home tomorrow!

I'm glad to hear it. Enjoy your last evening and balls to her on the flight.

Yay!

Just read this thread! Glad you got to enjoy the last few days. Horrible woman sounds like an utter nightmare!
Don't blame you for wanting to block her.