Can I abstain until he gets the snip?

[extraketchup]

I've name changed but I'm a regular.

I can't tolerate hormonal contraception at all. I've tried:
Mirena - bled incessantly
Combined pill - aura migraines and I got pregnant on it.
Mini pill - incessant bleeding and severe headaches

Also tried natural cycles and yes it works but I can't relax. Condoms are a total killer.

Dh and I are 30 and 38 respectively with two kids. Definitely don't want anymore. It shouldn't just be up to me to provide the contraception and especially have to put up with awful side effects so I've asked him to get the snip. He won't. I'm so put off sex as I just cannot get pregnant. Aibu to say I'm not having it unless he does it? I know it sounds blackmailing but what else??

GP refused me a sterilisation.

Final thought: perhaps your DH would change his mind if you both agree to harvest your eggs and sperm. Potential risks here though: egg harvesting is very invasive for women as it's hormonal over-stimulation. But a piece of piss (well, wank, but you get me) in a cup for a dude tho.