SAH parenting as a way to shove work

[BloodyDisgrace]

In no way I want to offend anyone, this is just one of those questions one has but is afraid to ask.

Has anyone had the MAIN motivation for having another child to prolong time off work, or to pack it in for good? Or SAHP is just what works in your circumstances and you didn't hate working at all?

What is paid work for you: something essential and developing, or a pain you endure for financial reasons?

If you're a SAHP - what's your partner's take on it? Does he resent it? Does it imbalance the relationship or not? Does he make you feel you're financially dependant? Ever had negative comments from anyone (friends, family members) about not working?

Thank you.

Well, as I said - you do not know why people make the decisions they make. Saying "Likewise if one partner deliberately remains part time, or takes an easier job simply because they want an easier life- that’s taking the piss" is very judgemental. I'm sorry you feel that way about people. I would say, have a more open heart and mind as to why people may not wish to, and would actively avoid, work. Depression. Ptsd. Etc. There's many reasons, and life isn't as black and white s you may think. All the best x

(Sigh)

If you actually read my posts you’ll see that I’ve emphasised several times that it’s up to couples to communicate with one another and agree a way of managing things so that neither party is exploited. Therefore if one partner is unwell, loses their job or a million and one different variables then what you would hope is that they talk things through and come to the arrangement that best suits them as a couple. Which might mean one partner stopping work, working part time, or perhaps swapping roles.

That’s very different from the scenarios I describes where people are acting in self interest only and in the case of a couple of my colleagues actively trying to convince their husbands that they can’t cope with working more hours when at the same time giggling with each other that they don’t want to give up their gym and lunches.

IMO that’s not a great relationship.
Btw you really don’t need to do the passive aggressive sign offs... we’re adults here, not in the playground

I get Momo’s point
A husband or wife who chooses to sponge off the other one without consent/agreement just because they don’t want to work is never acceptable in any circumstances

Thank you PookieDo

I’m actually simply responding to the OP who is asking about a specific scenario where one half of a couple actively avoids working. Not because of illness, other responsibilities or any other variable but purely because they don’t want to. That’s no way to conduct an adult relationship.