Narcissistic father - cannot relate to his children as people but objectifies them and places them in rigid roles - e.g: golden girl, scapegoat, clever one, etc. Often the roles are completely arbitary and bear no relation to reality.
Appallingly misogynistic - makes personal comments, is incredibly disparaging about any woman who is overweight. Places a value only on their appearance.
Divide and rule - particularly among his children. Plays his own children and even grandchildren off against each other. Will deliberately send out mixed or conflicting messages, saying one thing to one and something else to another.
Cannot give a compliment or say something nice about someone. Literally cannot do it. Narcissistic brother is the same. A backhanded compliment is the best they can do. But happy to compliment someone else (often a complete stranger) in front of one of his children. My father's speciality with me is to lavish someone else with praise or compliments right in front of me. Presumably to watch my discomfort and upset. I suppose it gives him a big kick.
Contrary, duplicitous and lies for no obvious reason. Perhaps to confuse? I presume because he enjoys watching people get worked up. Because he cannot allow himself to get close or show genuine emotion or empathy, he makes do with manipulative games.
Would openly boast about his affairs with other women while he was married to my mother. He honestly thought other people would be 'impressed' by what I presume he thought was a show of virility and cunning. Brother is similar finds it amusing to 'pull the wool' over women's eyes, assuming they are thick when in reality he is the unintelligent one. Brother loves dangling carrots in front of me but then pulling them away at the last minute. For example: telling me about a lovely party that is coming up which sounds like fun then not inviting me and phoning me a day afterwards to tell me what a fantastic time he had. Or, even better, he or his narcissistic wife will invite me around the day after the party, when they are both hideously hung-over and brag about what a fantastic time they had. (His wife is liable to go off into another room while this is going on and phone up a friend, rolling her eyes, to tell the friend that her sister in law is around and it's such a bore having to entertain her.) This last antic is a favourite - it is the sister in law who makes the arrangements but she then behaves as if it is such a chore having to see me. Incredible - can't she think of better ways of spending her time?
I could go on. The constant marginalizing, trivializing, gas-lighting, bullying and sheer spite is endless and exhausting. It's also crazy-making as they will outright deny things that are blatantly obvious. E.g: calling someone obnoxious when they are obviously not. This of course is the oldest trick in the book, you accuse your critics of doing what you are doing.
However, as I exit from a controlling marriage (to another narc - or at least has strong narc tendencies) I am finding myself become less and less affected by the narcissistic family members (father, one sister, brother and his wife) and I can almost find their behaviour amusing. It's so helpful to try to emotionally detach. Expect the worst behaviour and then you won't be disappointed.
Education is very important. Every time you find yourself being pulled in by the games and triggered, take some time out to read about narcissism and examine your own responses. Don't keep expecting different behaviour. It wont' happen as narcissists don't do self-reflection.
Reach out to people who genuinely care about your welfare whether friends, neighbours, support groups, counsellors. Build strong support networks so the narcissistic family members become less important to you. They are hoping you will keep trying to get what you want from them - love, attention, validation etc - and they get a kick out of denying you this. Don't give them that pleasure. Be bright and breezy or alternatively 'grey rock' - dull and boring. They will move on eventually to new sources of supply.
Yes, it's the pits when one or both parents are narcissists but they are responding to their own wounds and unmet needs from their own childhoods. It is possible to break the pattern though so that it does not continue through the generations. Shine a light into the dark corners and the skeletons in the family closet and they start to lose their power.