Oh fuck. I think I’ve just found an affair phone

[FuckyDuzz]

Well it’s not really an ‘I think’ really, I just have

There was an unfamiliar beeping coming from the coat/shoe cupboard so I went in to investigate and found a phone in DPs coat, a cheap little Nokia with just one contact - a woman’s name

I am home alone with 4 kids trying not to cry but honestly I could throw up right now
Wtf

FuckyDuzz there are certain people on here who (I suspect) are now going to go on and on at you, to try to make you go to the police.

I hope they can just leave it here, but I suspect they won't.

Please don't be pressured into it. If your "D"H is not a drug dealer (and, he's not), it's very very unlikely anything will happen - unless you go to the police that is!!

If people end up derailing this thread on this issue, I suggest you get this one deleted, name change and post a new thread that doesn't mention the drugs, so you can continue to get support.

Despite what he has said, he HAS been dealing! Using a phone on your home. Which is traceable by the police. Who may well still be watching him and your home.
If that is the case, you too could end up in all sorts of shit. If a drugs raid is made on your house, social services will be involved and a strategy meeting will be held to determine if your children are at risk, and if you're involved in any way.
Regardless of the reason he has given about the drugs, he's now well and truly embroiled. Please don't try to minimise what is happening here, because it could have far more serious consequences than getting another woman to give you a BJ.

raisins Thankyou I am in fact going to leave the thread here (they won’t stop, they never do)

I appreciate the support I’ve felt from all of you more than I can say
It’s been a shitty shitty few days and reading these messages have genuinely helped me deal with and process this and feel much stronger and able to do so
I am going to leave the thread and talk to someone in real life now
But really, thank you all 💛

FuckyDuzz talking to someone in RL sounds wise.

You can always namechange and come back for support any time you like.

Wishing you strength. It's like ripping off a plaster - this is the hard bit, but you can do it! Long term, it'll be better.

Good luck OP I hope all goes well

The thread is almost at its maximum anyway and will close to new posts soon.

I hope you get the support you need in real life OP and I wish you all the best x

Good luck op xx

Another voice wishing you well, I'll be thinking of you

Please don't be pressured into it. If your "D"H is not a drug dealer (and, he's not), it's very very unlikely anything will happen - unless you go to the police that is!!

You are wholly incorrect here.

He IS a drug dealer if he sold/supplied drugs in any way. Just because he doesn't 'look' like one and has a family and didn't touch them does not mean he isn't a drug dealer.

And also, he's been lying for a long time about it, that's his version right now. It doesn't stand that that is in fact the full story.

Best of luck OP 💐

Good Luck op. Hope all turns out well for you and your little ones

Good luck OP.

As someone said, please don't minimise what's happened here. And take his friend out of the equation. It's him, not his friend, they are one of the same.

Hopefully you'll contact an official charity for more apt situational advice.

Really best wishes. It's a shame you're going, but take care of you and the kids.

Good luck OP. It may seem difficult but you seem very clear sighted and i am sure you will find your feet and things will be so much better for you and your family I am sure.

Good luck Fuzzy.

Through a few weeks of pain and heartache, a newer and better future will grow. :)

Wishing you Good Luck

Hope all goes well It's a shame some posters have focused on the drug thing, when really you've needed support for the betrayal. But please don't feel pressured to call the police. Do what feels right for you and your DC.

Good luck x

Good luck @FuckyDuzz, I hope that you will be ok, whatever happens next.

Good luck!

Bless you and your babies, all the best

Wishing you and your children all the luck in the world

Stay strong for your children. Tough decisions but I am sure there will be little going back. Whatever your OH has done (sex and drugs) he is a liar who can't be trusted; a man who has put himself and his friend before you and his children, a law breaker.

I am sure you know you deserve better. I get the sense that you may accept him back, your last post seemed a little more defensive of him?

@toolstastic

I have to disagree with you. The reason why the drug thing is a huge issue is because it's criminal, but also, drug dealers are no joke, believe me. They are the worst of the worst and cruel when they don't get their money.

To do what he's done, getting mixed up in dealing in drugs is huge, and a part of the betrayal, but a bigger issue. Because if the OP leaves him without anyone knowing, he'll have the children 50% of the time on his own and he's the type of person to get wrapped up in dealing drugs, that's not safe for children.
If she stays, he could put them in danger 100% of the time.

I'm sorry, but it is a huge issue. And everybody has sympathy for the betrayal, but that issue is huge, there's no two ways about it.

Good luck OP

All the best OP whatever you decide to do 💐