Oh fuck. I think I’ve just found an affair phone

[FuckyDuzz]

Well it’s not really an ‘I think’ really, I just have

There was an unfamiliar beeping coming from the coat/shoe cupboard so I went in to investigate and found a phone in DPs coat, a cheap little Nokia with just one contact - a woman’s name

I am home alone with 4 kids trying not to cry but honestly I could throw up right now
Wtf

You will get closer to the truth when you tell him you have requested he sees the dc in a contact centre, because you don't want them round drug dealers and have involved ss.

Very good point!

I am in no way qualified to give you any advice, so just wanted to say how sorry I am that you have found yourself in this dreadful situation. I am sending you kind thoughts and wishing you strength to get through this

I just want to clarify his story as I don’t think I worded it very well

He didn’t make any money from the drugs, his friend had bought a load off someone on ‘tick’ and couldn’t sell it all fast enough and the guy he bought them off was demanding his money so DP just helped him to sell this particular batch to get this other guy off his back
He isn’t now an actual drug dealer, and he never held any drugs and there certainly isn’t anything in my house, he was just helping dickhead friend
Once it had all been sold and this guy paid back DP had no more involvement and deleted all the contacts and messages from this phone ... all except OW of course

Also he didn’t actually let her pay with sexual favours, that was just him telling me how she initiated everything and apparently she continued to persue him afterwards
Any sex he received from her was purely because apparently I’ve been living with Gods gift to women and she just couldn’t resist his dick, and apparently she received nothing back, she’s clearly just grateful to be allowed to touch such an Adonis

Not that the details really matter I just think it possibly sounded worse than it is (if that’s possible)

I think your update makes it sound worse tbh .

How are you doing, Fuckyduzz?

Has he given you space and stayed away?

OP I am so sorry for you; what a terrible situation to be in. I don’t personally believe the “only received blowjobs” story either I’m afraid. What a bastard.

YearOfYou it’s worse from a cheating POV but I think people thought the drugs thing was bigger than it was iyswim

NewerVersion not he’s been texting, I haven’t replied - I really don’t know what I’m supposed to say 🤷🏻‍♀️

Defo sounds worse, stick to your guns and move him out for good, this won't be the last time he does it!

Oh god- he is text bombing you, good on you for staying strong and not answering him. I was stupid and answered my cheating scumbag’s pitiful, self centred begging texts.

The drugs business is all a bit of a red herring really isn’t it? Thank goodness it wasn’t a case of him being a full on dealer as well as the cheating.
Funny how fucking entitled and bloody conceited these men are- my x looked so shocked and dejected when I pointed out that all those escorts he had slept with probably found his pot bellied,ugly bearded, fumbling quite revolting and that with no money involved they would doubtless have run for the hills at the thought of him even groping them. I mean, the man honestly had convinced himself that they wanted him! Deluded twat with the same Adonis complex your do seems to suffer from!

Your dp- not do

So sorry you're going through this. Has he even shown any regret or remorse? Or is he still fist-bumping himself for being "gods gift to women"? Never the less I'm pretty sure he'll regret the whole thing for the rest of his life, BLOODY IDIOT!! I hope you move on with your pride intact and find somebody who appreciates you for being bloody amazing!! Stay strong and look after yourself and your little ones 🌷

So it is more just straight up cheating though helping his friend out in that way shows total lack of judgement, he could have been arrested bang to rights in the process.

I'm so sorry OP, I can't imagine the internal conversations you must be having right now

Sorry OP but what he did with the drugs was a criminal activity

I don't know what you're supposed to say either op.

If it were me I'd be texting him along the lines of,
"You'll have to arrange to get your stuff when I'm not in. I'll drop kids at your mum's next Saturday from 10till 4, up to you if you see them. This house, maintenance payments and child contact will all be sorted through officials and solicitors, I'll be sorting them Monday. Mind how you go. Hope getting your tiny cock sucked was worth it. Any further contact will only be via email, no texts will be replied too."

But that's me...

I'm so sorry OP.
That really does sound worse and is an affair as continued to see her after he had helped his friend(if that's true)
As someone who was cheated on by someone I trusted with all my heart..him saying it was just BJ's is utter bollocks.It might of started like that.
It will take a while for all the details to come but they will.
You have the phone and her number.Although I'm sure she would of been warned by DH you might call.
Make sure you have real life support.I had nobody and it made everything worse as I felt like I was going out of my mind.I wasn't even on MN in those days..I wish I had of been.

If you believe he only received blow jobs you’re very naive.

I'm so sorry OP. From a legal point of view, he would still be considered a drug dealer. Please stay strong, I worry that your further explanations might be you subconsciously defending him but even if true (and I'm not sure they help!) he has totally disrespected you and put you and your children at risk by involving himself in this.

Not generally one for saying this, but please LTB.

NotPerTickly of course I don’t

He isn’t now an actual drug dealer, and he never held any drugs and there certainly isn’t anything in my house, he was just helping dickhead friend

Sorry to tell you, he actually is an actual drug dealer. If he's selling/pushing drugs in any way, he's a dealer.

And remember, that's the story he's now spinning you anyway.

But, he's still a drug dealer.

The prospect of police involvement for him and/or his mate could be useful leverage if he doesn't do as he's told.

So sorry OP either way I’m not sure which is worse. I guess for me it would be the lies and deceit I’d struggle to get by, wether it’s a stripper or ceo of a multi national company. A bj is a bj, and if it’s not from you it’s cheating.

Also, I doubt you saw my previous post as you've had so many replies, but I said, as you see his friend as scum and a dickhead and always there when things go wrong every time (I'm guessing other things have happened), you have to wonder why they are friends?

Any decent person would see that this man was a waste of space and bad news and not bother with him. The reason they are friends is because they have a lot in common, he's just managed to hide it from you. What you see and dislike in his friend is exactly what's inside your partner, you've just been blindsided.

I’m really sorry op but I think, on top of everything else, you’re going to have to go to the police with the information about your dh and his dickhead friend. I think it’ll look worse on you if he was ever investigated, even historically, and it came out that you knew and did nothing. I might be wrong, but would be too scared of the consequences to take that chance. It’s such a horrible situation for you and your dcs, good luck this week.

I think the offence is 'being involved in the supply', so you don't have to touch the drugs to be a drug dealer. A local has just been sent down for this, and the family are all over social media whining about them not being a dealer because they didn't touch the drugs and people don't know the facts. yeah, that would explain the guilty plea and the jail sentence.