Oh fuck. I think I’ve just found an affair phone

[FuckyDuzz]

Well it’s not really an ‘I think’ really, I just have

There was an unfamiliar beeping coming from the coat/shoe cupboard so I went in to investigate and found a phone in DPs coat, a cheap little Nokia with just one contact - a woman’s name

I am home alone with 4 kids trying not to cry but honestly I could throw up right now
Wtf

I’m sorry Fuzzy. Have you checked the WhatsApp picture? You may also see her Facebook profile by typing her number into the internet. When does your husband get home?

Take photos on your phone of all messages

Type the mobile number into Facebook search and her profile may come up, I'm sorry this is happening to you.

Holy shit. Men think we’re fucking thick don’t they?

Google the phone number.

That's really awful, OP. You must feel like you've been kicked in the stomach.

I wouldn't have thought it was a prostitute - for one thing he's a flirt, which tends to mean an affair rather than a prostitute, but I also think anyone who goes to prostitutes would go to more than one, rather than the same one. They wouldn't buy a phone for that, either, would they?

What will you do now, OP? "Get your ducks in a row" is very good MN advice. Say nothing for now. Check finances, get copies of everything, etc. If you leave the phone where it is, you can check whether it's gone later.

Your stupid husband.

Change the number in the phone to your number. Leave the rest of the details as they are.

Wait for him to text/ring you...

I don’t know if I want to look at her WhatsApp tbh, I’m not going to contact her, so I’d just sit staring at the face of the woman sleeping with my partner

Eurgh it does sound like a sex worker could be possible - although do people have their own private ones like that?
Why would he use a sex worker?! We have sex! ... although the last time we had sex he couldn’t finish

Mrs he gets home around 6
I don’t know how I’ll be able to even talk to him normally

He’s going out with his ‘mates’ for dinner tonight

Well, the issue is with your OH, not her, so best not to go down that route of tracking her down or anything like that with the phone. You have to have a conversation with your DP about this and he has to explain himself. I will tell you from the other side that you can get through this. But boy is it horrible before things are sorted. Lots of hugs and support. Good luck.

What a bastard

I second copying the number and taking pictures of all the messages etc. Pop the number into Facey and see if it finds anything, might not but worth a try. Definitely try WhatsApp too, might be someone you recognise

Complete bastard

Hugs to you OP

Sorry I keep x-posting, trying to post 1 handed with kids everywhere 🙈

Google the address and click on maps. It will show the actual house. Maybe you need to look for bank statements now op.

Sorry OP but of the threads on here are anything to go by I’d keep a record of her number etc because he will start lying and/or minimising soon. Good luck.

Do not put the phone back. Just keep it until you've calmed down/worked out a plan. Could you take the kids out for when he's back/head to a friend's until he goes out later? Take the phone with you.

What a dick.

Is there a friend who could hold onto the phone for you? That way you can keep hold of it but he won't be able to find it and destroy the evidence.
Personally I'd be ready to confront him the minute he came through the door but you need to think about the DC too.

Ask who he is going out with and then later contact them saying you are looking for him. See if it matches up.
Do the WhatsApp tip and then find her on facebook, see if she tags herself at whatever place he is supposedly going tonight.
Use the time he is out to gets documents together ready to kick him out when you are ready.

I really don't think someone would have a secret phone for a sex worker. I definitely do the WhatsApp thing, just in your own time.

It’s a bit odd he put her name in. He went to all that trouble to hide the phone then left it unlocked with a solo females name and messages in it...

Oh no! How awful. I reckon get all your information together.

I'm so sorry OP.

Take photographs of the phone and where you found it, including the call log and messages and separately write down all the messages and call log, including dates and times. Then put the phone back where you found it. Try and find out who the other woman is and whether she is a sex worker or someone he's having an affair with. Take copies of all important documents, bank statements, pension records etc, before you confront your husband.

If you do end up splitting up over it it's best not to tell him you know until you've got copies of any information he might try to hide later.

What an absolute dick.
Get your ducks in a row and then confront.

Sorry.

Agree, the brief messages and address makes me think sex worker, but it could be affair.

I agree with PP - check out the number - write it down somewhere or put it on notes in your own phone so you don't lose it.

To be honest, I wouldn't waste too much energy on finding all the gory details - this would be enough for me to end the relationship.

Could someone have the kids for a couple of hours this evening. You could wait round the corner of the address and see if that's where he is going for his dinner out with mates? Or follow whoever leaves the house to meet him

Oh - and STI check for you - sorry

This does sound bad. Make a note of the address for sure. Do you have a friend you can trust to check it out next time he 'pops out', to go and see if he arrives there?