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Original poster

Oh fuck. I think I’ve just found an affair phone

999 replies

FuckyDuzz · 03/08/2018 15:57

Well it’s not really an ‘I think’ really, I just have

There was an unfamiliar beeping coming from the coat/shoe cupboard so I went in to investigate and found a phone in DPs coat, a cheap little Nokia with just one contact - a woman’s name

I am home alone with 4 kids trying not to cry but honestly I could throw up right now
Wtf

OP posts:
MotherofTerriers · 03/08/2018 16:26

Or do you have a friend who would watch the address for you?

esk1mo · 03/08/2018 16:26

sounds like an escort

HollowTalk · 03/08/2018 16:26

It’s a bit odd he put her name in. He went to all that trouble to hide the phone then left it unlocked with a solo females name and messages in it...

I thought that, too, but old cheap phones aren't password protected, are they? I know my mum's isn't! And if he thought it wouldn't be found, he put her name in - that shows a level of stupidity that would make me want to leave him anyway.

HelloGabriel · 03/08/2018 16:26

Turn it off and hide it somewhere. Sit back and watch the bastard shit himself 😡

Sorry, OP Thanks

Original poster
FuckyDuzz · 03/08/2018 16:26

Thedutchy The phone is one of the old Nokias that you just press menu and star to unlock, it was locked and on silent but the battery was dying, that was the beeping

Simon I can’t confront until all the kids are in bed and he’ll have gone out by then
So I’ll just have to sit here thinking about him having sex with her for tonight 😳🤢

OP posts:
Ginger1982 · 03/08/2018 16:28

Is there anyone who could babysit and you could follow him? I would have to text the number.

TeeBee · 03/08/2018 16:28

I would follow him tonight. If he isn't where he says his is, I would knock the door, say 'house key', wait for him to hand it over, and just get back in your car without saying a word, and drive away.

esk1mo · 03/08/2018 16:28

you should at least google the phone number, it may come up on different website eg backpages, vivastreet. this is what happened when my exDP cheated with an escort.

BifsWif · 03/08/2018 16:28

I know it’s difficult to think clearly but what you do next is so important.

Keep the phone, put it on silent and keep hold of it. You need as much information as you can because he will minimise and make you feel like you’re going insane.

Is there someone in real life you can call on for support?

Move any savings from joint accounts in to your account and get copies of all important documentation. I know it’s the last thing you’re thinking of but you need to get your ducks in a row even if you haven’t decided what you’re going to do next.

Start taking control, try and drink often even if you can’t stomach food. I’m so sorry x

Aprilshowersinjuly · 03/08/2018 16:28

Can you pretend you aren't very well, ask him would he mind staying in /helping with dc before he goes out? See his reaction.

HollowTalk · 03/08/2018 16:29

What are the practicalities, OP? You're not married to him. Are you working? Is the house rented or on a mortgage?

MrsMozart · 03/08/2018 16:29

Oh bugger lass. I'm sorry.

Plead a migraine to account for your 'mood', then use this evening to get all financial docs, passports, etc. together.

AdaHopper · 03/08/2018 16:29

Do you have a charger for it? Also check the deleted messages. If I remember correctly, you can see them somewhere on a Nokia.

Blatherskite · 03/08/2018 16:29

I wouldn't put the phone back of only to watch him squirm when he realises that it's missing.

Monkeysocks2017 · 03/08/2018 16:29

You should say to him " would xxx like to come to dinner tomorrow evening " watch his face drop! I always find if you go in with I've seen the messages he'll say it's a friends phone or something! Sorry your going through this!! Keep busy with your kids xx

Gluttie20 · 03/08/2018 16:29

Does it make it better if she's a sex worker? You could ask a male friend to call the number. Sorry

FrancesV83 · 03/08/2018 16:30

This is awful OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I agree with some of the other posters. I wouldn't confront him yet as more than likely he'd deny it anyway.

eyycarumba · 03/08/2018 16:31

I'd be locking the door from the inside and leaving the key in, then throwing his stuff out. Realistically you need to keep calm and get proof of everything, bide your time for the right moment, but I couldn't sit there knowing he was out doing that, sorry OP Flowers

MynameisJune · 03/08/2018 16:32

There is no way I’d be able to sit on this whilst he went out, I’d show him the phone and tell him he wasn’t going anywhere and you’d discuss it once the kids are in bed.

If you can get someone to babysit then the two of you can go out and talk in case it descends into shouting.

Do you work? Can you support yourself and the kids? Whose name is the house in?

adoggymama · 03/08/2018 16:33

I'm so sorry OP! Men can be pigs. Show no mercy to him when he gets home!ThanksThanks

HollowTalk · 03/08/2018 16:33

I would have to spoil the evening for him. No way would he get away with going off there and having a nice evening with her.

Givemeallyourcucumber · 03/08/2018 16:33

Oh gosh. Sorry OP. You can't sit around tonight thinking that. If it was me I would hand him the phone when he gets home. I would say nothing but "I found this, the battery is running low, you need to leave now"

SenoritaViva · 03/08/2018 16:33

Poor you OP. Take some time to plan and think about things. Could you forgive him or is this it over? You need to think about yourself and your needs, forget about his. Then approach when you know what you want.

RomanyRoots · 03/08/2018 16:34

is there a friend to mind the kids tonight and then you could follow him and confront him whilst he's at it, so to speak.
he's obviously not going out for dinner with friends.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 03/08/2018 16:34

Take a note of her number. Ring her tonight, when he's with her, and ask to speak to DH.